When does it get 'easier'

[justwonderingaboutit]

So DS is 5 weeks old. He's had a horrid time, he was DX with viral meningitis at a few days old.. it was all very traumatic for me as I was on my own with him when he stopped breathing. He was in ICU/HDU for a week.

We have been home a few weeks now & he's so different from my DD, who's 4, so I barely remember her baby days but she was certainly more chilled. He fights sleep in the day like mad, then last night scared the crap out of me as he slept for 6 hours straight (this scared me as this is when I knew he was poorly before, as all he did was sleep)

I'm aware I certainly have some PTSD around what happened to him (I was also ill in hospital at the same time) but I'm just finding it all a bit difficult. I'll have days when I feel I'm bossing it & I'm fine, then days like today my anxiety, health anxiety in particular gets the better of me. He can be very fussy, & he drinks 5 ounces every 2-3 hours in the day. (Combi fed by bottle) Proper milk monster. I did wonder if he was fussy due to an intolerance but also wonder if it's over tiredness. I'm reading a lot of these digestion issues get better on their own at around 3 months I'm understandably scared of him getting poorly, and I'm trying to not let this feeling rule me as I've been taking him out places. I worry about every little thing & people say to embrace the newborn stage but honestly I can't wait until he's older & more robust (hopefully) my DD was a baby so long ago I can't remember when things got 'easier'.. although she was also an ICU baby & so there was trauma there too. Sorry to blabber on. Please give me your opinions on when you think things got easier/more interesting/not as in the trenches...

Poor him and poor you! It sounds like you've really had a time of it.

A couple of possible thoughts – does he have any signs of reflux, silent reflux, or CMPA? DD2 had bad reflux, and things got vastly easier when she got the right medication, and I've heard plenty of similar stories for CMPA babies when on suitable formula/mother gone dairy-free if breastfeeding.

For over-tiredness, both of mine fought naps like none other. My best advice is that if you have a way to get them to sleep, use it if at all possible. Don't worry about 'bad habits' now, and it's worth quite a lot of inconvenience not to have an overtired mess of a baby all day. Likes to sleep on you? Fine. Falls asleep in the pram? Okay, 3-4 short walks a day it is (this was DD2). It's harder if you've got your first at home with you, and I'm not going to pretend my time wheeling the buggy up and down the garden path was thrilling – but it did the job when DD1 just wasn't up for another scooter run/trip to the shops/puddle walk or any other way I could come up with to dress up yet another walk to get the baby to sleep.

@skkyelark Thank you for your comment. I've been pushing him around the kitchen in the pram.. got a whole half an hour nap out of him!

I spoke to the doctor about his fussiness about ten days ago.. she wasn't really thinking any of his symptoms sounded typical of any of the 3 situations you've listed as I thought the same. His fussiness then improved the last week, now it seems to have come back. He's screamed the whole day with me but has now settled on my husband.. pretty much as soon as I handed him over!.. I kind of think if there was an actual issue/intolerance he wouldn't settle at all? It's so hard as I do think he can be in pain but clearly no way to know 100%.