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Potty training not happening.....

22 replies

madame · 29/02/2008 10:19

advice please..... dd 2 yrs 5 months, I tried potty training her just before xmas as she was very interested in the potty and wanting to sit on it but no success then so I put it on hold.

Over the last few weeks she has been saying she has done a poo and pulling her napppy off. She has actually done a wee and of course doesn't like the feel of the nappy.

I take from that she is ready but yesterady and today while in the house I keep her nappy off and ask her to sit on the potty but she doesn't want to sit on it. Not scared just doesn't want to.

Don't know what to do, can't make her but I also don't want her constantly dragging her nappys off but also not peeing over the floor.....

First time mum....

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CarGirl · 29/02/2008 10:31

well you can try her in knickers leggings to soak up most of the wee, my dd had ones afternoon of wee accidents then the next day she does took herself of to the potty and it was done! Athough I don't have carpets downstairs so it made it easy to be relaxed about it IYSWIM.

madame · 29/02/2008 11:06

thanks I have put her in knickers and pjs and hoping exactly that.

Any other thoughts

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madame · 29/02/2008 12:11

anybody have any pearls of wisdom? would really appreciate the help

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lizandlulu · 29/02/2008 12:17

would she rather sit on the toilet? it is just a thought. my dd is 2.3 and only just starting to tell me when she has done a poo. we have a potty but she would much rather sit on the loo with one of those insert seat things to stop them falling through.

i am too a first time mum and am dreading potty training, keep up the good work

bb99 · 29/02/2008 12:23

Can you wait until the warmer weather - dd was left to roam free in the garden with pants on in the summer weather (MUCH easier to clean up) with a potty in the garden and so trained up quite fast, or would pull pant nappy things help as she could pull up and down and save having whole nappy dragged off and puddles?

Good Luck - they get there in the end!

madame · 29/02/2008 12:55

i would love to wait till the summer but she is just constanly pulling her nappy off and therefore I think I just have to go for it.

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mumofhelen · 29/02/2008 21:43

This is my advice - and how I did it.

I didn't start potty training until dd was two and a half years old. From around 18 months old, like you, I placed potties in places where I knew dd would like to sit and where they would be convenient for dd to get to in a hurry - such as near the door in the play area and mid way to the downstairs toilet. She was still in nappies but I wanted her to get use to the potties.

I also changed our toilet seats to the toddler friendly ones with a smaller seat stowed in the lid and allowed her to watch me go to the toilet and gave dd a running commentary is to why I was in the toilet!

I waited for the tell-tale signs that dd was ready, for example, saying "I done wee", being aware of bowel movements and being able to tell me, and being able to take her clothes off.

Before undertaking potty training, I went to the library and got some books on potties and toilet training to read out at bedtimes. I also purchased a few books on using the potty and toilet with dd favourite characters.

When dd was 2 years and 8 months, I decided it was time to take dd out of nappies. I let her run around the ground floor of our home without anything on. I expected and was prepared for toileting accidents because these are an inevitable part of the course. Dd had LOTS of toileting accidents in her first week without nappies. Fortunately I only have tiled and laminate flooring downstairs a quick wipe with a mop and disinfectant and its done.

I didn't use pull ups because dd would use them as nappies - thus defeating the whole purpose of toilet training. I initially used trainer pants at night and when we were out.

I would ask dd nearly every 10 minutes whether she needed a wee but by the second week without nappies, dd was using the potty and toilet on her own. By the 3rd week, dd hardly had any accidents.

I dressed dd in clothes that are easy to change but more importantly clothes that are easy for dd to get on/off herself quickly. So ditch the dungarees and all-in-ones and start using stretchy leggings and tracksuit bottoms with elastic waists. The advantage of summer time is that girls can wear dresses without tights. It's an advantage because when toilet training, speed is of the essence. In the initial stage, a child may only have 10 secs warning. It is far easier to lift up dress/skirt, down pants in 10 secs, then to grapple with tights etc.

Nevertheless, I would not necessarily wait until summer to toilet train. If you live in the North, the summer can be really wet! I believe it's best to start when your child indicates she's ready, protect your furnishings and just go for it. It will be messy for the first week, but trust me, things WILL get better. Remember to give your dd lots of praise and encouragement everytime she's successful. You could give her treats, but try the non-food type, such as watching TV. TV watching has always been restricted in our household, which is why 10-20 minutes of a DVD is a treat which she appreciates.

Most of all though, be patient. She will get there in the end.

chocolateshoes · 29/02/2008 21:53

DS is 2.7 I has just come out of nappies. I found that he just wasn't interested on sitting on the loo or potty. It was such an inconvenience to him as really he just wanted to carry on with his game. Chocolate buttons were the answer - although I really didn't want to go down the bribery road! However he was so thrilled when he got one that for the 1st couple of days he was desperate to swueeze a little wee out! He totally rejected potties though but is happy with a toddler seat on the loo. The 1st couple of days I had to keep suggesting he go to the loo & we sat in the bathroom alot, reading stories.

Write down all the accidents & success so that you have a good idea of how it is going and I think, possibly after day 3 if you are still having alot more misses than hits you should put it off for a bit longer.

Be patient & really enthusiastic. Make a big deal of buying some pants with a fav character on the front together. DS was alos sent some Postman Pat ones froma friend & he really though they came from Pat himself!!

madame · 01/03/2008 12:25

Thank you MUMOFHELEN and CHOCOLATESSHOES for taking the time to write such detailed responses. i will continue next week with it and see how I go. Still not hits today, she like yours just wants to play....this morning I had only just asked her and then she pee's...

I really do think she is ready just a bit pre occupied!

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madame · 01/03/2008 12:25

what are trainer pants?

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madame · 01/03/2008 12:46

I now know, should I be getting her some of these or are they just like pull ups really. From what I gather you still have to wash them straight away so are they that different to pull ups.

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mumofhelen · 01/03/2008 14:48

There are two types of trainer pants - reusable or disposable.

With the reusable ones your child will feel 'wet' and with the disposable there's usually a picture that fades away (or the opposite, appears) if the nappy gets wet.

The theory is that when a child wets himself/herself, they are suppose to feel the wetness and tell you, and learn from the experience.

For some children this does work. For others, like my dd, it doesn't. With the reusable version, my dd merely told me when she needed changing. She wet them again and again because she didn't understand that she was suppose to take them off and use the potty/toilet. Far easier just to wee and poo in the reusable trainer pants and let mum clear things up.

The disposable ones didn't necessarily feel wet and quite frankly, dd didn't care if the picture appeared/disappeared. Again, far easier to wee and poo in the disposable trainer pants and let mum clean up.

In my opinion, disposable trainer pants are just expensive pull ups. Again, in my opinion, you are far better off just putting your daughter in ordinary knickers/pants. After the first week of toilet training, my dd would genuinely get upset if she had wet herself and she certainly did learn that when she did a wee in her knickers, the wee went everywhere. It wasn't soaked up conveniently by the trainer pants to that she could continue what she was doing.

I used the pull ups when we went out because I didn't want to embarrass my dd in public. There's nothing worse than needing a wee, not being able to get to the toilet in time, and getting soaking wet in front of everyone. Not all people are considerate and yes, I should ignore them but I prefer to avoid the whole situation in the first place.

The same thing for night time. I don't particularly want to have to wake up at night to the sound of a crying 2 year old, who has a wet bed that needs changing, and night clothes too, and for hygiene reasons, probably needs a bath/wash. My dd was only dry at night just after 2 years and 10 months.

To answer your question: If money is no problem and you?re not that bothered about environmental impacts, disposable trainer pants are great. They are light, non bulky and easy for a child to pull up and down ? certainly easier and less bulky than the branded Pull-Ups.

If you are environmentally aware, reusable is a good option, especially in a dry summer. Our summers here up in the North of England always seem to be wet and I therefore end up using the tumble dryer which totally defeats the environmental cause. Tumble Driers must be one of the least environmentally friendly appliances.

Pull-ups, in my opinion, are the best option, especially if you are only going to use them at night time and when going out. Disposable but cheaper than disposable trainer pants. The only drawback is that dd found them quite difficult to pull up and down but we solved this by going up a size, that is using the 15kg+ ones despite dd only weighing 12kg.

mumofhelen · 01/03/2008 14:54

"Hence why we ended up using trainer pants because we couldn't get a pull up that fitted properly despite the environmental disadvantages" was suppose to be the last sentence but seems to have disappeared!

BlueberryPancake · 01/03/2008 18:51

I used an old fashion and strongly not recommended 'you'll get a chocolate button if you have a poo on your potty' and it worked a charm. Took three days and he's potty trained, using trainer pants if we go out for long journeys and at night. He's not asking for chocolate buttons anymore. We had many accidents to start with but it kind of clicked at one point.

chocolateshoes · 01/03/2008 18:57

I haven't used any kind of trainer pant at all. He still has nappy for his lunchtime nap & sleep. I didn't want to confuse him with the pull ups etc. He says to me that he doesn't wear nappies, he wears pants, nappies only at bedtime.

I must say the 1st 2/3 days were spent near the bathroom, reading alot of stories with him on the loo, and then the following day me beginning to ask him less & less if he needed the loo so that he would start to tell me that he needed to go.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 01/03/2008 19:00

I've trained 2 of them with the old bribery method!! Reward charts work well too, if you baulk at smarties/ chocolate buttons! Both of my girls were pretty much trained in a week.

My top tips:

If you are sure they are ready, put them in pants. No trainer pants (except at night/ naptimes) and no nappies. First day with dd2 I ended up with 14 wet/ dirty pairs of pants!! It got better as the week went on!

Set aside a week where you can put everything else on hold and concentrate just on potty training. You will be going off your head by the end of the week, but its easier for your lo to be in a familiar environment to start with.

First couple of days, be prepared to dance, sing, tell stories and juggle plates!! Anything to entertain them while they sit on the potty!

If all else fails, give up, try again another time! Good luck!!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 01/03/2008 19:01

x-posted, chocolateshoes!

chocolateshoes · 01/03/2008 21:41

Great monds think alike!!!!

kbaby · 02/03/2008 11:22

Not sure if this will help but Ill tell you how we potty trained DD.

When she was 2yrs 2 months we were asked by her nursery to potty train her. Over a fortnight we tried by keeping her in knickers, no clothes on and asking her if she wanted a wee every 15 mins. She never actually mde it to the potty and kept having accidents. After a few days I gave up and decided she wasnt ready. Nursery on the other hand had her dry in nursery and so she used to waer knickers to nursery and nappies at home( I still dont know how they got her dry) after 4 month I decided to try again when she was 2.7 months old. I put her in knickers told her she had to tell me when she needed a wee and I would take her to the toilet. She never told me she wanted to go and just took herself off to the loo and went. We have only had 3 accidents since then and she is now amost 4.
2 weeks after being dry during the day her night nappies were dry upon wake up so I took the plunge and removed them. Shes only had 1 night time accident.

My advice would be if after 2-3 weeks you are still getting more than 3 accidents a day then give up and wait for another time. Next time round it may be so easy that you cant even call it potty training.

kbaby · 02/03/2008 11:24

Forgot to say that the first time round we tried star charts, rewards, you name it we tried it

madame · 03/03/2008 12:48

Thank you so much everyone.

Update from the weekend, no wee's but she did last night look like she wanted a poo. She sat on the potty and with some encouragement did a poo

I still have had no sucess with wee's but I am going to continue with it as I truly believe she is ready, just needs some work to get her there.

I have put her in a pull up for her nap and of course at night. Some great advice here.I am using the knickers technique as with the pull ups she just did it and then wanted the pull up off whereas with the knickers she didn't like the mess....

Thank you

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madame · 03/03/2008 20:23

One wee in the potty today after lunch, on her own amission. She did forget to pull her trousers down first but she made it which is the main thing, and only one puddle to clear up this afternoon.

Onwards and upwards....

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