13 month old wants nothing to do with me. I feel like the worst mother, my heart is breaking

[aimeeeleanor]

My (just turned) 13 month old just seems to hate me. He went through the typical stage of separation anxiety & will want me if a stranger holds him. But other than that I truly feel he could take me or leave me.

• he pushes hands away from him 75% of the time. Even when holding him so you obviously have to have your hands on him
• he’s got a particular dislike for his hands being touched
• turns his head away & slaps your head away if you try to kiss him
• Has literally never cuddled back
• did enjoy a cuddle to sleep but the past few nights have writhed around to get out of my arms & cried till i put him in his bed
• prefers my mum to me, will literally cry & reach if im holding him to get to her

I know im probably being over dramatic but the past few days have been brutal & really taken a toll. I just feel sad. I’m so in love with my little boy & do absolutely everything for him, i’m with him literally all day. But i just feel like he doesnt like me

has anybody else gone through this? The pushing of hands? The slapping of faces? Does it get better? Will I someday get a spontaneous cuddle? My arms ache for it

Oh, these phases are so heartbreaking. They do pass though. My DC's 18 months now and we've had a few brief periods like this with either me or DH. Keep being there for your DS and you'll get cuddles eventually. He does love you.

As his world is starting to get a bit bigger in terms of what he can do and understand, who he can meet and the experiences he can have, there'll be periods where he'll want to be more independent, periods in which he's frustrated and you become the focus of that frustration, periods where someone or something else is new and shiny and the Best Thing Ever. But you're his safe person and offer him the stability and support he needs to have the confidence to explore the world.

If he's showing preferences at the moment for not having his hands touched and not getting kisses, then as hard as it may feel, I'd try to respect his preferences. By doing so, you're modelling for him from an early age that he can have his own boundaries respected, which is an important thing for a child to learn; it helps them have the confidence to set their own boundaries as they get older as well as developing the understanding of how to respect other people's boundaries.