Car seat trouble- 4 year old won’t sit properly

[shellbells12]

Hi
I need some help, I’m driving to Ireland from London next week ( min 7 hours in the car) and Ive two boys 5yo and 4yo in Cybex HBB. I’ve just turned my 4 yo forward facing but still have his Axkid minikid which is rearward facing.

My issue is my 4yo won’t sit still in his seat and leans out of the seatbelt, or stretches his shoulder out so it’s just his waist that has the seatbelt on, he does threaten to open it but has not done it yet.

A few months ago he started to open his axkid straps, so we thought turning him around might help. he does have a rare form of epilepsy ( doesn’t impact him 99% of the time) and potentially ADD/ADHD ( we are starting a journey of assessment) but he won’t listen, he doesn’t care that it’s not safe, he doesn’t care that the police would be cross if they saw him, he just says no. He causes his older brother to be stressed out in the car as his older brother is a law abiding citizen and is worried about it not being safe!

My 4yo doesn’t take off his seat belt when he is watching tv/ playing on his tablet so that’s one option - but he can’t watch his tablet for 8 hours….
I can’t keep shouting at him/ stopping the car to get him to be in his seat properly :(

Any advice, that can help? Should I put him back in the Axkid rearward facing and just encourage him not to open his straps/ let him have his tablet a little more?
Should I keep him forward facing, and if so what can I do to help him stay in his seat?

I’ve googled so much but can’t find advice as it’s all about car seat regulations, but I need help please? Today I had to squeeze into the back between the seats to hold the seat belt so it was taut and he couldn’t wriggle out.

thanks a million!

Yes, I'd put him back in the Axkid – he's shown he's not mature enough to sit sensibly in the HBB (many four year olds aren't!). When you say open the straps, do you mean unfasten the buckle, or something else. If he's undoing the buckle, I've heard that sticking some velcro to it (prickly side only) can be enough to deter some children, but I've not tried it myself. Carseat safety groups may know other tricks.

Thank you, I agree and his safety is my biggest priority! He was unfastening the buckle in the mini kid. I can pop some Velcro on the buckle and hope he stops. We have had to stop on busy motorways to put his straps back on, and it was worse because i sometimes couldn’t see ( even with a mirror) so it was his older brother telling me.

It's an expensive alternative, but we have the Cybex Pallas G - which is a block across their middle rather than using a seatbelt (CYBEX Pallas G i-Size ׀ Impact Shield Car Seat (cybex-online.com)) - might it be that he doesn't like to be so restricted in his car seat? They're also extremely safe seats and very difficult for children to take the blocks off themselves - my 3 year old has tried his best to do this!

Thank you, wish I’d seen this cybex earlier! We had trialled him in shorter trips in his brothers seat and he was brilliant, but the novelty has worn off. He is just cheeky and loads of energy, and he likes the attention of us all telling him to put on his straps! Hubby has put the minikid back in! Will be hard for him as he thinks FF is big boy seat but can’t see what else I can do.

@Caledoniadreaming we got that seat and safely arrived, no issues at all. He enjoyed being able to use the barrier as a table, and was able to use his arms as much as he wanted! We brought our other seat back in the boot just in case but now it will be a spare here!! The seat was on offer on Amazon in bright orange for £166!!
so grateful for everyone’s advice. 👍