15 month old - end of tether with!!!

[happynappies]

My beautiful dd used to be calm and smiley... at about 9 months she started getting increasingly frustrated as she tried to be independent but wasn't really able to. I remember thinking at the time that I was finding it all so much harder than I expected to. Now dd is 15 months... well!!! Ok, I'm having a particularly bad day (dd hasn't slept last few nights so I'm tired, time of month etc etc) but I'm beginning to wonder whether it is me. She's in her cot screaming at the moment, but I just can't face going in to her. I've been up half the night with her. While bf this morning she bit me, then proceeded to bash me around the head with an alarm clock. I've got bruises and bite marks, and no amount of 'no' or distraction seems to work. I can't let her out of my sight or the ear-splitting shrieks/screams drive me insane. I've posted about this before and I hear that I've got to use distraction, but when you literally can't go to the loo because she will scream the place down you start losing your sanity, and find yourself cowering in the spare room on Mumsnet instead of being the loving, caring Mum you wanted to be. I am in tears now thinking how far short of that image I'm falling. Anyone else understand where I'm coming from?

oh you poor thing your not alone hun.i do think they go through a really bad stage seeing how far they can push you etc, my lo is three now and god does he know how to push my buttons i know its of no use now but i propomise it really does get better,but if you get stressed and shout (i know sometimes its hard not to.lol) they seem to react even worse.ive been putting mlo on a naughty step.you can use cusion etc.everytime they do something you put them there.you might well have to repet a lot of times but really does work. xx

It will get easier - honestly. Is there anyone who could look after her for a few hours to give you a break?
Be kind to yourself and have nice bubble bath, wee glass of wine and large bar of choc once she goes to bed.
It is a stage ....

happynappies - your daughter is probably reaching her peak of separation anxiety. When you leave the room to go to the loo she genuinely thinks she's lost you. She doesn't understand where you are. I found this phase horrific. I hated it. But it does pass. It just suddenly stopped. Maybe I go against the grain here but I found about 13-16 months hellish - they've got new found independence with the mobility but absolutely zero sense, and it's all new to you. DS is now nearly 21 months, his language is coming on, he's more physically adept, he's outgrown separation anxiety and although this stage is hard in other ways I find it soooooo much easier to deal with than when he was about 14/15 months. The only thing that got me through it was making sure I got out every day. If some of your friends aren't experiencing the same thing yet then make sure you also spend time with some who are. This age is so different for different kids - some are still babies and some are really entering toddlerdom and you can feel like a crap mummy if all your friend's babies are not demonstrating the same behaviour! It does get easier because if nothing else you learn the best ways to manage your child.

wow weegle, i wish i had posted about this when my ds showed the same characteristics as nappies lo. You have jus summed it up brilliantly and i totally agree with you!

My ds is now 18 months and went through the same 'stage'. I found it difficult because although my dh is fabulous in most ways, he was of very little help during this time. I thought ds was doing it on purpose and accused him of being naughty etc. so not only did i have a screaming ds, but my dh was losing his temperature too.

It really does get easier though, as has aleady been said, language gets beeter, they become more independent and the seperation anxiety eases off.

Good luck!

When all else fails I find "In the night garden" works wonders . I keep a few recorded episodes up my sleeve and honestly it's amazing, the minute it comes on my crotchety grizzly demanding grumbly lo is instantly transfixed. He doesn't really watch much telly at other times, and I try not to use it too much (it scares me a bit the effect it has on him, like he's suddenly being controlled by a force from elsewhere) but there are times when it calms him down and gives me half an hours peace and quiet like nothing else.

Thank you everyone! Feeling a better sense of perspective now (that she is asleep!!!). I really do find this stage exhausting, and Weegle, you're spot on about friends who have younger babies - they seem so 'compliant' somehow, and everything goes so smoothly. Even just a simple task like putting on a coat is a major battle-zone, and I'm so exhausted all the time that I feel so short-tempered. I am glad to hear (a) its normal and (b) she might grow out of it. I really hope so... there's always something new to learn isn't there?! thanks for your kind words.