How much should I play with my 3 1/2 month old?

[Lateasusual]

Just wondered what sort of time other people give to playing with their babies and what other ideas people have for suitable play. I try to play for an 1/2 hour in the morning after breakfast. Things like dangling toys and shaking rattles but I also sing songs like 'if your happy and you know it'. In the afternoon I try to look at a book and have a bit of time on the play gym. Is this enough? What do your babies do when you are not playing with them? If I have a day when I go out to the shops or to meet other people I don't always manage to play much at all. Is this alright too?

Wow - you are organised! I am jealous!

I don't remember setting aside any specific amount of time for playing with my DCs when they were tiny.

I think you're doing fine - just interact with your baby, and continue the lovely relationship that you already have.

Your baby will cry to let you know if he/she is bored, and equally if he/she is over-stimulated.

Mine used to love going swimming - once they had had all their jabs.

i have a 4 month old ds and we just tend to go with the flow. quite a lot of time on the playmat, including tummytime (which he is slowly getting better at!) i just bought a playnest that he can sit up in as he can hold his head up properly now. lots of talking to him and rattle shaking he's also very nosey at the moment so i take him round the house showing him different things, he particularly likes looking in the mirror! we go outside most days. i put him in the pushchair now rather than the pram because he wants to look at things. i recommend a book called "Bright Start" by Richard C Woolfson. it gives you ideas of how to stimulate your child and play with them from birth to about 5 years. also gives ideas about emotional and social development. haven't tried swimming yet but will soon! hope this helps.

oh and remember, young babies still need a lot of sleep!

blimey you ARE doing well

With babies I generally think that as long as they aren't screaming then you are doing really well

I never really 'played' with mine, more just generally interaction as I went about my day - just kept them with me all the time (at my height where possible, slings were good for this and a highish pram to prop them in while I was pottering in the kitchen) - chattering is important I think, talking to them as much as you can - passing them things to hold while you cook and clean (things like plastic spoons rather than the toilet brush). Also at this age they are nearly old enough for a door bouncer - so you might want to think about buying one of them.

Swimming classes are good and toddler groups etc. where they can watch other children (and you can have a cup of tea and meet other people).

You sound like you are doing REALLY well! Babies let you know pretty quickly when they are bored or unhappy!

Thanks everyone. Sorry I'm feeling a bit paranoid at the moment because everytime I go to get him weighed the health visitors seem to keep asking what I'm doing with him. "Am I reading to him yet? Is he playing on his play gym. Is he grabbing his toys?" Just feels a bit intense sometimes and is hard to keep it up!!

I don't think you have to worry too much. Babies of that age don't have a very long attention span.

With both of mine I used to take them with me whatever I was doing, whether it was around the house or out and about, talking to them all the time. The most important thing you can do for such a small baby is give them lots of love, cuddles and keep talking.

They don't really 'play' as such until they are much older. A bit of time on the playmat if you need a break is good but mine never stomached it for more than 10 minutes if I was lucky. I didn't have designated play times, just responded to them when they need some attention. For example, if I was in the kitchen and they were awake I might give them a plastic spoon or cup to explore.

You could try something like baby massage as the sense of touch is very important at that age.

The Usborne Guide on Entertaining and Educating Your Preschool Child' is very good. At 3 months it lists toys as things to swipe at, things to kick, things to hold and encouraging rolling as suitable activities and toys.

You sound like you are doing a great job though. Don't worry too much!

Health Visitors can make you feel a bit pressured!

I didn't take my second child to the Health Visitor at all... I felt like a MUCH better mother not feeling criticised every week! (Of course there are some FAB HVs out there - I just always felt criticised!)

Honestly, you sound like you are doing REALLY WELL.

I'm surprised at the reading at that age Lateasusual. Babies can't really focus on things for long. I didn't start sharing books until my boys were much older (6 to 9 mths) unless they were rattly and cloth books and then you aren't really reading but playing.

Babies just need to hear your voice so if it helps you to read to them then do it. But if you are like me and just chat about anything then I don't see the benefit at that age. Mind you I used to get all sorts of funny looks from people when I was out as I was always talking to my boys - older people particularly used to think I was funny.

I don't think you have to actively try to get your baby to grab at things and play in the gym so long as you provide the opportunity.

hey what a great thread, ive been so worried that my LO was board. she goes to alot of groups such as swmimming,yoga,massage and music. she has 'no nappy time twice a day where she rolls and kicks on the floor. and a story before bed. i talk to her constantly about everything im doing but there are times where you just have to get on and do day to day things so if shes not asleep what then?? she just sits in her little chair looking fedup! and i feel so guilty, but then i think im giving her a good start with all the other things she does, what do you guys do with your LO when you just have to get on? im thinking about investing in one of the bouncey chair things that fits in the door frame? (shes 3.5 months by the way)

yes the bouncy door things are good

what sort of things do you need to 'get on' with? (maybe if you say, we can suggest ideas?)

I think Cat64 is right if you are talking about one of those baby bouncers that you hang from the door frame (don't think I have seen any other sort that is more chair like but I haven't had to use such a thing for 4 years). The bouncers are only for children who can sit up unaided I think so 6mths upwards.

I think this is definitely my problem. I need to start relaxing more and doing a bit more for myself. I haven't read a newspaper or book since ds was born because when he is sleeping I am immediately thinking - right what housework should I be getting on with?? and when he is awake I am thinking right what should I be doing with him now? I think I am also too quick to get him out of his cot when he wakes because quite often he is happily lying there looking at his mobile or sucking his thumb and I'm whipping him out and saying 'ohhh your awake!!' I seriously need to chill out don't I???!!!

I never had a play routine at all but I mostly carried her everywhere and was always chatting to her
If we both were relaxed and we could do some sort of spontaneous play but otherwise never thought much about it

You need to chill and let him learn to amuse himself before he gets used to the Mummy Show.

I don't remember actually playing with my DCs at this age, they were just there with me. I used to love going out for walks when they were that age, they loved watching all that was going on around them.

My DD is almost 6 and DS 3.5yo and they play really well on their own, can amuse themselves for ages. I would go mad if I had to play with them all the time, and I would have no time for MN.

You also have to take some time to do something for yourself. When he sleeps, get a book, a cup of tea and some chocolate and enjoy.