14MO not developing

[umbrellamirrorpotato]

Hi, I’m not to sure if I should be concerned about my 14 month old. She sleeps well, eats well and is very affectionate. However she does not to do any of the gestures she is “supposed” to be doing at this age. She very seldomly claps and occasionally will give us a high 5.

She does not wave, dance, point or shake her head and hasn’t started copying any sounds or words and hardly responds to her name. She does give us eye contact and is very smiley and laughs a lot and babbles to herself all day. In terms or playing she just throws things around and we can’t seem to hold her attention with anything (not that I expect a 14 month old to have a huge attention span)

No matter how repetitive we are with say clapping she just doesn’t pick it up although she enjoys it when we do it. She seems to be able to hear just fine.

I know I shouldn’t compare her to other babies and maybe she is far to young for me to worry, just wondered if anyone has experienced the same. Big sister is 14 so if I’m honest I can’t remember when they started doing all this stuff but don’t remember worrying.

I know all babies are different so maybe I shouldn’t be so worried about the guidelines for her age?

Hi @umbrellamirrorpotato and I'm sorry that you're worried.

In your shoes I think I'd start by doing this Speech & Language progress checker and see what that says

Thank you for suggesting I did do that earlier today and it did suggest I speak to a professional, I’m just wondering if i should do it now or giver her a month or 2 more?

Just to add she did say Ta this evening when I have her her milk so that was a lovely surprise! Hopefully it will continue!

I would definitely seal to your HV now. We were encouraged by our HV to "wait & see" and it was the worst possible thing we could have done. DD has missed out on the support she has needed for years.

Speech & Language UK are a really well respected charity so if you tell your HV that you've done their 12 month progress checker and it says "you've answered no to some important questions" she should take it seriously.

Ask her to refer DD for a hearing test as Glue Ear can cause speech delay.

I'd also ask her to refer DD for SLT.

And ask the HV to do the 14 month Ages & Stages.

Waiting lists in some parts of the country are long so the sooner you seek help, hopefully the sooner she gets support.

Ah that's lovely

Thank you so much! I’ll call tomorrow!

@umbrellamirrorpotato hi! Just wondering how your LO is doing now? Currently in the same position with my son x

Hey @Unic0rnSparkle0405 She is now 26 months and just started nursery part time last week and seems to love it!

Still no pointing or gestures at all - she sometimes waves. Anything she has done she does once and we havent seen it again.
She answers to her name more frequently but not always and eye contact is good with me and dad but not always others.

She still doesn’t talk but she can say 1,2,3 so that’s something!

We waited until she was 18 months to see if she developed more but she didn’t so we got the ball rolling. She has had hearing tests and her hearing is fine. She has had a check with a neurodevelopment team who have said she has global developmental delay and speech delay. She is with the SALT team and awaiting sessions. Nursery was recommended so we are hoping it brings on some speech, we’re going to give her 3/4 months at nursery to see how the speech develops and if she is still on the waiting list for the SALT sessions we might go private as it can be a long wait.

Maybe wait a while as your little one is still very small but if you are still worried around the 18 month mark get the ball rolling like we did as waiting lists can be very long and early intervention is best.

When she is 3, if there is no change then they will start looking at the possibility she may be neurodivergent but they wont test now as she is to young.

its scary at first and I struggled a lot with the what ifs, but now I’m just glad we have everything in place. Nursery are super supportive and I’m confident it will help her.

Good luck with your little one, chances are they are just a late bloomer!

@umbrellamirrorpotato Ah thank you so much for taking the time to write an in depth response, really appreciate it 

I'm pleased your little girl is enjoying nursery, it really is so good for them especially the social aspect. I hope it helps her.

My little boy turned 14mo on 5th Sep, he sounds similar to your LO. He does things, then doesn't do them again for months! An example is he clapped at 7 months then never seen him do it again until 13mo! He doesn't imitate at all, just does things on his own time. Still no gestures (waving, pointing) he babbles (mama, dada & baba) but no meaning behind the words.

Thank you for the advice re waiting until 18 months. I will watch and wait and see what happens. I have been worried about Autism as it runs in our family so I have been keeping an eye for this too as he has some repetitive behaviours/stims (finger flicking since 8mo), lack of gesturing, not imitating, sensory issues with certain materials & food, obsessed with anything that spins, gets engrossed with patterns/numbers. Intense tantrums at the minor things/easily triggered. So with this in mind a developmental delay wouldn't come as a surprise but I have been told all this can be normal toddler behaviour but I have one of those mother gut instincts here and those feelings are rarely wrong. My son has been in nursery since 9 months old and loves it, apparently he's engrossed when other children are playing which is a good thing!

My H/V advised there are communication classes we can attend from 15mo and if no improvement after those, we get put on the waiting list for SALT but as you mentioned it's a long wait so private is something I may look into.

I hope all goes well with your little girl and if she ends up needing further support, then hopefully she isn't on any of the waiting lists too long, but attending nursery is only a huge positive in terms of socialising and communication.

You’re more than welcome, we have autism in our family also so like you I’m more aware. It’s just the waiting thats the hardest isn’t it. I also feel that mum sense and just kind of “knew”. All the best to you and your little boy xx

Thank you very much for your suggestion. I am going to look into the Pippin app now, I will give anything a try

@Unic0rnSparkle0405 - any update on your LO (sounds just like mine)? X

@umbrellamirrorpotato - how’s your LO now? X

Hi! We received an autism diagnoses about a month ago, we were not surprised.

We also got the EHCP before xmas and have had the amazing news she has a place at a specialist school. The nursery we have is fantastic and have really helped us.

In terms of her development (now age 4), she is still not fully verbal, but she has I’d say over 100 words and has started to use some sentences. I want to go to sleep, I want to eat, I want to go in the garden etc
She has started with imaginative play, can follow instructions, and do basic self care tasks. Has only recently started being interested in other children.
We are really happy with her progress. SALT was shit to be blunt, but nursery has really helped with speech.

She still doesn’t sleep great and diet is limited which I find hard. Still have to have eyes on her at all times as she is a menace😂

How is your LO?

Awwwww amazing glad she has the right support in place and is progressing 👏

my LO is young, only 13m but I have loads of concerns. No joint attention, no gestures, no words, no imitation, doesn’t look where I’m pointing…. The list goes on

I know deep down they’ll get a diagnosis later down the line. X

We started by going to the GP and they were really supportive, start there if you are worried I’d say. From what I’ve been advised early intervention is key, get things rolling now as waiting lists are huge.

In 2.5 years we have had hearing tests, SALT, blood tests to rule out genetic factors, visits to paediatricians, educational psychologist evaluations, EHCP and diagnoses, and I think we have been really lucky, I know others where its taken longer.

In terms of things like the EHCP, I personally believe that’s the most important and if you can get that in place before school it will be better, however because we have had such a fantastic nursery they helped us extensively we were able to get the EHCP approved first time, we are very lucky, I know other people haven’t had such a positive experience.

Hi @WorriedMama2025

Thank you for asking, I know it’s a worrying time when you first get that deep gut feeling knowing something isn’t right! I’d say the gut feeling is rarely wrong.

So my LO is 3 in July. They are only just starting to point, not really waving. He does say around 100 (ish) words but he isn’t conversational at all. He can name objects (like animals, juice, some foods, say alphabet, count past 20 and backwards) but he still struggles to communicate his wants and needs because he can only use some single words, he can’t really put two words together and isn’t taking in sentences yet (which ends in him getting so frustrated and hitting out ) he needs activities that are ‘heavy work’ for example running, jumping, pulling wet washing out the machine, climbing, dancing, crunchy foods, foot massage, anything that gives him lots of sensory input as he finds it regulating. This all being said, on the whole, he is a happy little boy. He is slowly starting to understand things like ‘bye bye’ means someone is leaving. And says ‘hello’ when someone walks into a room so there is little glimmers of hope where his understanding is finally showing in small amounts but it’s been through years of repetition and routines! He does echo phrases so he can’t put two single words he knows together but if I say ‘want more juice’ he will echo back to me, he does this with several phrases I use (I’m sure this is echolalia) and he seems to pick up language in chunks (worth looking into gestalt language processing as speech and language don’t tell you about that!)

Nursery has helped bring on his communication (since he went to the toddler room and being around kids his age) they have been getting additional early years funding through the local authority to work on communication targets with him and they’re going to help me with applying for an EHCP for school when the next round of early years funding finishes. They’ve been incredible in all honesty and I’d recommend a nursery if possible!

He’s had Speech & Language (who aren’t worth it! We’ve had two appointments in 2 years of being open to them) but it’s worth getting their involvement just for evidence if you need it down the line (for paediatrician) Sensory Occupational Therapy, Hearing Test, Portage (through the local authority - they were absolutely incredible for my LO and we still use the strategies to this day - HV should be able to refer you) if you go on to see a paediatrician they will want to see reports from the likes of above as evidence. We’ve seen the paediatrician and they put my son on the autism pathway - we’ve been waiting for an appointment for an autism assessment since October 2025. They documented all his difficulties and we have follow up with them again in December 2026. I am 100% in my gut he is autistic.

I seen your LO is 13 months - I’d raise all your concerns with your HV at the one year check or give them a call as my HV started the ball rolling with all the referrals to the above departments for us, or you can also raise your concerns through your GP if your HV isn’t great, I was lucky and got an amazing HV but I understand they’re all different. It’s a very long road and we haven’t even got close to diagnosis yet. Then there is all the worry of managing to get an EHCP (as the local authority decides if they’re going to grant one or not, then getting the right school provision secured etc) I hope the above has helped, if you have any questions let me know, wishing you all the best x