strange behaviour after nursery, any experiences of this?

[jekyllandhyde]

hi, my dd has been going to nursery pt for around a month now and isn't really settled there just yet. the problem is, when i go to pick her up, she gets upset when she sees me (until i pick her up), and then is quite stand-offish for a day or two afterwards, for example much less eye contact and not smiling at me much, which i find really upsetting. i wondered if anybody else has had similar experiences to this, and whether this is something that is likely to improve with time? or if there is anything i could do that will make it easier on her (and me!)? thanks in advance

damn it, it looks as though it's just me then....

how old is she?

hi ruby, she's 10 months

Yes totally !
Its like a cat when you've been on holiday .. she's being grumpy and punishing/testing boundarys with you
It does improve promise
I tried good old bribery (yes yes I know) We'll go for a special treat/cake/playground/extra bedtime story/pink bubbles in the bath...if you're happy and smiley

HTH

aHHH 10 months -my treat stuff probably won't cut it then !

An extra cuddle and a mummys so pleased to see you.. not too much fuss or you'll be setting yourself up for my bribery toddler nightmare

thanks sagacious, i do try to be as happy and smiley as i can when i go to get her and she does stop crying when i pick her up, but just seems really distant and a bit sad. it does seem very young to me to be doing the punishing thing, but it does sort of feel like that a bit, as i can't believe that she could actually forget me or anything in the space of two days! i thought i was imagining it when it first happened, but it's been a recurrent pattern since the start....

are you happy with your childs nursery?
do the staff report a happy/content child?

do the staff interact well with the babies?

how long are they left in a cot for nap time?
how freqently does your child attend nursery?

Sounds like she is punishing you for leaving her. Check how she is getting on at nursery. My DD went to a playschool and it took them 5 months to tell me she hadn't settled.

Just seen she is 10 months.

Classic thing for her to do as she is at the separation anxiety age when they realise they are a separate being to Mummy. Just give lots of cuddles when she is with you and try not to take it personally.

hi williamsmummy and NAB3

i am pretty much happy with the nursery, the staff do interact with the children well and are very warm with them from what i have seen. but i am aware that she hasn't settled very well. this wasn't helped by her teething and having about six colds since she started, so she's been feeling more needy than usual. and she only attends two days/week so there's a long gap between her being there. apparently she is ok as long as she is being held, but gets very upset when she's put down, and tries to crawl off to find me . obviously she can't have constant one-to-one on an ongoing basis so i think they have started trying to get her used to playing without being held, but i think this will take a fair bit of time, she has a very strong will! i knew that it was going to be hard, as we have spent much of our time just the two of us, but i didn't expect the punishment thing, it's really getting to me tbh. it literally takes days for her to get back to normal with me, i feel so guilty and worried about it, but i cannot feasibly be a full-time SAHM so feel stuck in a horrible position

Could you talk to the nursery staff to ask their advice? The "punishing" will stop once she settles and gets a bit older. If you have no choice, don't beat yourself up about it. Your child isn't being mistreated she just wants her Mum and her own way atm!

thanks NAB3, i have asked at the nursery and they just think i need to give it time. i'm probably worrying over nothing, it's just really hard seeing the juxtaposition of her usual jolly smiley little self with this distanced morose imposter! tugs at my heart strings a fair bit

It is such early days for her. Give it time.