Competitive insecure older sister

[GDLN]

Dear all,
I'm not sure how to cope with my older of two daughters. She is nearly 10 and she often feels the need to be competitive with her nearly 7 year old sister. She is generally hard work, high energy and demanding and I would say she must be quite insecure but I don't know where this stems from as her younger sister is comparatively very calm and grounded. I have to admit that I find being around her rewarding but exhausting and what gets me down the most is when she name calls her sister and is rude and competitive. I am not really asking for advice so much as reaching out to anyone for whom this sounds familiar.
Thank you.

Hi OP it's probably just a bit of jealously and sibling rivalry but ALL kids are different they have such different personalities. Some are high needs others are chilled. Maybe try spending some one on one time with her and always tell her you love her and she's special.

It probably is jealousy to a certain extent.

Can I ask, does she have any interests that are hers alone?

I'm asking this because I had a younger brother who was always encouraged to do what I did/have what I had.
The problem was I felt that I was then always being challenged by him.
If I was better: well it was to be expected because I was 4 years older.
If he was even approaching nearly as good as me, it was a miracle, amazing, something to be shouted about...
And also for the things I was naturally better it had to be spoken quietly, in case he got discouraged.
I was expected to make sure he was okay and invite him round with my friends (he wasn't very good socially) when we did clubs together.
I was an adult before I realised that some of the things we both did, actually I was pretty good at, and I was better than him because of the way it was always spoken about.

For my dc I generally have made sure they're not on top of each other. They played different instruments, they often did different clubs. Even if they were interested in the same thing I found different places.

So make sure she has her own interests, and when the younger one says "I want to do that too," don't just think that'll be convenient and enrol them too. Give them separate things to do so the older one doesn't feel the younger is always snapping at her heels.
And also that the younger one doesn't always feel that they're playing catch up.