helpful hints- secondtime around mom-scared again

[julantal]

Well the date is fast approaching i'm due in three weeks and of course i feel crappy today... not physically but emotionally. If its not the fact that i have a two year running around crazy (hitting and tackling other kids at tike gym) or the fact that i feel like i'm constantly yelling and scolding her, or maybe it's the news recently from my husband who said tax season is going to be real busy this year-- so i may not be around all that much in the next month or so!!!!

So here is my question with the date fast approaching of having to deal with the demands of an infant and the craziness of a two year old- and the total memory-lapse of what to do in the first couple of weeks with a newborn DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE on how to deal with ie schedules, demand feeds, sleep crisis, soothing baby and just a general pep talk!!!

thanks

Hi Julantal, due in MArch? Come and join us over on our MArch thread for sustained support.

I am also expectign number 2, with a busy dp who runs own company. I haven't really worried about it all TBH, as I've just needed to cocoon my head and deal with fear of giving birth in an NHS hospital again in the first instance. Also, my 2 yr 7 mth old is a bit if a freakishly compliant child in terms of doing what he's told. He's been a bit extra demanding with me as I'm so quiet and tired and I think he needs reassurance I'm there more.

I've heard the way forward postnatally is to get them to join in a fair bit, and to have stacks of new books nad dvd's and toys for playing with while baby feeding. Then to ensure that the older child gets a couple of doses of concentrated you-time a day when he is centre of your world.

I've just got mine settled in 3 hours pre-school 3 times a week so I can have a wee bit of time alone with new baby as well. And I've got two weeks help from DP then two weeks help from my mum to help me in the first month. After that, for months 2 until the colic settles and we're sleeping a bit better in the summer, I've increased our cleaner's hours so I've very little housework to manage. Just daily cleaning, menu planning, food prep. I use the internet to shop food in, don't waste time in supermarkets. I hope some ideas may be helpful, and do come join us on our march thread if you'd like.

Hi Julantal
I had number two in October, sister to then 19.5mo ds.
My memory of those early days is very sketchy, but I do remember thinking that it was easier than I expected. It was lovely having a newbie to cuddle again. We took everything very slowly and didn't try and do too much. We also accepted any help that was offered!
My advice is that you spend the rest of your pregnancy making sure that you have a safe space where you can be comfortable letting your toddler roam, get some dvds for him to watch and books to read while you're breastfeeding. Maybe you could also a cook up and freeze - I found it really useful not having to worry about ds's meals.
Sleep when you can, and play with your toddler whenever you can - forget the housework. Newborns do sleep loads, so you'll have more time than you think.
After a short time, I got getting out of the house sussed - we have a little routine. As soon as I could, we went to toddler groups. DS got to burn some energy and see children his own age, and I could sit, breastfeed and talk to other mums.
Good luck to you both - it's insane, but brilliant fun.
Second time round the birth was much easier, my recovery was so so so much quicker - I felt almost normal by day 3, and the new baby just fitted so perfectly into our family - it really was much easier than the first time.

hi.....

had my second ds 7 weeks ago....I agree that the baby stuff and lack of sleep really is easier second time round and it's lovely to have a new baby again.

It's been a bit of a steep learning curve with our 22 month old though. I can't stress enough the importance of spending some quality mum and toddler only time each day - when we can't get out, I put the baby in the cot for his sleep and I sit together with my big ds to read books etc. I do all the baths and I also put my big ds to bed so we can have a cuddle and read some stories. I have also started saying to my big ds...oh look, your brother is crying...mummy needs to pick him up to feed him but you can sit next to me and we can read a story - I have found that explaining what I am doing makes a difference.

Getting them both out of the house was scary at first but now it only takes about 10 mins to get everyone ready :-) It makes a huge difference if you can get out even if it is just for a walk to the shops.

good luck :-)