Anyone else’s 25 month old not speaking and not understanding?

[Alice0]

My son is 25 months and is still not speaking or understanding. It’s like he is in his own little world, he doesn’t know his name, doesn’t understand the name of any objects/things, doesn’t understand anything I say at all, doesn’t even know I’m Mumma. He will understand visually - so when it is dinner time, I show him his dinner plate. When it is bedtime, I have to start going up the stairs first for him to realise it’s time to go upstairs. When it’s time to put his shoes on, I have to get his shoes and show him and he comes over. But if I said “Shoes” he wouldn’t have a clue what I am on about.
I did make flash cards of his regular things, like his cup, myself, his dad, grandma, etc as I thought this would help if he’s visual but he doesn’t use them he just looks at them and gets disinterested.

He does make noises, but I’m not actually sure if it is babbling and he doesn’t do it in context to anything, so no mama, dadda, nothing like that. He goes ‘eh eh eh’ or ‘oh oh oh’ all vowels. No consonants. Sometimes I can hear him humming a rhythm but no words.

He doesn’t gesture either, no waving or pointing. He drags me where he wants me to go. He has just started clapping so he claps to everything, when people are waving at him he claps, when he is happy he claps, when we finish a song he claps, when someone enters a room he claps.

Physical wise - he hit all his milestones - can walk, run, jump, stack blocks, etc.

I know some people say if the parents were late talkers then that’s it but myself and his father both spoke early.

I started him in nursery when he just turned 1 so he has been going for a year now and no progress either.

The older he is getting the more it’s obvious that there is some sort of delay as his peers are all at least understanding, if not talking. Most times we go out end in tears as he doesn’t understand that he either has to wait his turn to go on something, or can’t have someone else’s animal feed to feed the animals at the farm, and he also doesn’t understand danger - and if I let him out his pram he just runs and runs and runs. I did try toddler reigns once, and he just went to the floor each time and tantrummed so I stopped. If we want to go anywhere that’s not secure I have to keep him in his pram, which he hates, so a lot of the time I tend to only take him to enclosed areas or the garden.

I know there are a lot of toddlers that don’t speak till 2/3 but all the stories I have read or people I know say they are at least saying one word, or understanding things :(

I have contacted HV, doctors, got him referred for speech and language and waiting on an audiology appointment at the hospital. Oh and the early years inclusion team have gone into his nursery to assess him as well. I have also asked SEN to get involved at his nursery. I’ve not actually had any answers yet though.

I feel like I have exhausted all my options and I know there is not much else I can do but I just want to hear from some other parents/carers that have been in the same boat so I can hopefully have some hope and stop worrying so much.

Has anyone else experienced similar and got some hopeful outcomes?

I’m so close to paying for private speech therapy lessons as I feel like it’s going to be a long wait on the NHS and the worry is eating me up.

Thank you for reading.

My DD did t talk until she turned three but does have ASD and possibly ADHD.

Yes it is harder to parent a DC with SN but she's funny, intelligent and usually great company and is about to start Sixth Form.

I'm sure there have been many that have talked late that don't have ASD though.

Hi @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto

Thank you for replying! That gives me some hope. Did her understanding come around the same time as well?

So glad your daughter is doing well and hope she has a brilliant time at sixth form.

Have you tried any sign language with him?

Hi @Finnygook I have but he’s not interested :( he doesn’t gesture at all apart from clapping so I don’t think he really understands that he can use his hands to say something if that makes sense. I have been trying to work on him waving to say hello/bye for about a year and nothing.

I think he signing back doesn't come for a while so just keep sign in g to him.

So if you think he wants a milk say "Do you want milk" and sign milk.

It's so hard when you don't think anything is going in but with signs and speech together he's got a better chance.

Is it Makaton that you're using?

I've been in this situation with ds. It's the lack of receptive language and gestures that are most concerning. It's good you have referrals in place.

If you can afford to see a private salt whilst you wait I absolutely would. They will be able to help you introduce other methods of communication which will hopefully support language development in the long run.

Hi @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto yes it is makaton, ah okay I will keep up with it then and hopefully one day he will sign it.

Hi @Jigglypuff87 thank you for replying - yes it definitely is those areas that are most concerning to me like you said. It’s really worrying :( how is your ds now?

Thank you - I will look into a private salt and get the ball rolling. Hopefully they might put some of my worries at ease as well and give me some hope!

DS is an extreme case. He mainly uses a high tech communication aid to communicate. He's a happy, playful, moody teen who can get his needs met, just in a slightly different way.

Signing with a child who doesn't gesture is going to be difficult. A salt will be able to advise the best option for your ds. It sounds like he is very visual so something like pecs or object to reference (he already seems to have a grasp of this from your post) may be more suitable. It takes a lot of modelling to gets these things in place and that doesn't happen quickly. Ultimately only a salt can advise you which way to go.

@Jigglypuff87 yes I don’t think signing is going to work because of the lack of gestures - I might be wrong but I just can’t see it happening! If he hasn’t even mastered pointing or waving I can’t ever imagine him signing milk to me but who knows.

Yes that’s why I made the pictures of things around the house and people as I had envisioned that he would be able to pick the picture of what he wants up and bring it to me to communicate but I think I was wishful thinking - either that or I am approaching it wrong. I’m sure a SALT will be able to tell me where I’m going wrong with it.

I’m glad you’ve found a way for your ds to communicate and get his needs met.

Whatever you pick will need a lot of consistent modelling so he understands what it is you want him to do, just having the pictures out won't be enough. A salt once explained it to me like this. You wouldn't expect a child to learn speech if you didn't talk to them. Alternative communication methods are no different. You need to use the communication method with your child so they can learn it from you. That's what I mean by modelling.

For example if he wants juice you would use the juice symbol/picture to model what you want him to do. Take the symbol and exchange it for juice whilst verbally saying juice. The idea is he'll eventually start doing this himself and with a bit of look pick up the word as you progress.

A salt will be able to walk you through whatever method they feel will work best. My advice would be to have a Google of pecs picture exchange communication system (essentially what I have explained above) and makaton so you already know a little before you see a salt.

Good luck x

It does sound as though some private SLat might be a good option if that's affordable for you

@Jigglypuff87 Thank you - I’ll try and be more consistent with the modelling and hopefully it will start to work. Thank you for all your advice and understanding.

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto yes I will definitely be looking into private. Thank you for your advice and help.

xx

@Alice0 Your son sounds EXACTLY like my daughter at that age, I didnt really realise there was a problem until she was 2.3. She has glue ear so we thought the delay was due to not hearing properly and we waited a few months for grommets (it was covid times etc). Anyway after she had the grommets put in and the speech didn't come we became concerned. We hadn't realised that she didn't use gestures or how important pointing etc was.
Anyway she is now 3.3 and while she is still completely non verbal she has come a long was from last year, she now uses more gestures (points, waves, claps, high fives), she now has much better receptive language and will follow some instructions (when she wants to).
We have had to put a lot of work in over the past year and I know we still have a long road ahead of us. We get some private SALT but the work is really done at home...id even suggest monthly SALT if you can afford it just to stay on track.
My daughter is extremely affectionate to us but not exactly social, she is very 'own agenda'. She has a limited attention span and is always on the move. I don't know if she meets the criteria for ASD or ADHD but we are waitlisted for the assessments.
My focus is to work with her as much as possible to get her where she needs to be in 2 years time for school. We are also doing listening therapy to retrain her ear to filter sounds properly and I think it has helped.
While we are not where I would have hoped to be, I am glad she is progressing with her communication, even though it's very slow. I do think she will eventually talk but it will take a lot of hard work!
My advice is to manage your expectations and look at communication rather than words, theres a whole process that needs to happen before words come
Also don't get too hung up on any diagnosis (unless it provides extra support) I accept my daughter is probably on the spectrum but if you can reach them early, you can change the neuroplasticity in their brains and give them the best outcome in later life...my time and energy is limited so I choose to put them into helping my daughter rather than fighting battles to get diagnosis
Hope this helps - good luck! X

Hi @Alice0 just wondering if your son has had any progress with his speech yet? I’m currently in the same boat with my 25 month old son!

@Worrier2024 how does your DS do in this progress checker for 18 monthss*?

@Worrier2024 he is now 3 years and 3 months - and has come a long way. Still definitely got a delay and a while to go but his understanding is much better and he has got around 100 words, with more words and copying every day. He knows his name now and knows basic commands like asking him to take off his shoes or saying it’s bed time - he even says ‘bed time’ to me now when it is time, he also requests things now like ‘banana’ or ‘drink’ which is a big step as he used to hand lead me to what he wanted. I never thought we would get there and I do still worry as I see other 3 year olds with thousands of words and speaking in sentences, but I’m sure he will get there - just taking his time. This all didn’t happen until after 3. Also, not sure if it helps or not but I give my little one omega 3s and he seems to be more receptive and expressive when he has had them, not sure if it’s a coincidence or not! But makes me feel like I’m helping in some way. Hope this gives some hope xx

@Alice0 thank you for replying, that’s given me some hope! My son is currently hand leading and only says ‘eee’ and ‘yaay’ so I’m very worried. He does play with us and makes eye contact, but doesn’t understand any instructions or respond to his name. I’m hoping after 3 we will see some progress. Thank you again! X

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto yes I’ve done this thank you, says he needs some Extra support. I have already got the GP to refer him to speech and language but there is a 10 month wait so I’m a bit worried. We are constantly talking and doing speech exercises with him so I’m hoping he makes some progress in the next few months!

I totally get how worrying it is. Did the GP also refer for a hearing test?

It might be worth speaking to the HV and asking them first a referral for a hearing test.

I'd also fill in the 2 year Ages & Stages and the 2 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages.

You can either mark them yourself or ask the HV to mark them and talk through the results with you