Very lethargic 3 year old, at my wits end!!

[HarrogateMum]

I have 3 year old male DTs and a DD who is 15 months old.

One of the DTs is incredibly outgoing, always talking, always wanting to be amongst and helping with eveyrthing. If you ask him if he wants to go to the park/feed the ducks, he runs to get his coat and shoes and is desperate to go.

The other DT is the complete opposite. He has become more and more lethargic and uninterested in anything otehr than sitting at home, looking at books or (if he could all the time) watching the telly. If he has neither option, he lies on the sofa staring into space. If I suggest going out, he cries and says he doesnt want to and gets incredibly wound up about it. When we then do go anywhere he walks incredibly slowly and I often end up having to carry him (this isnt easy since I have DD in the pushchair plus the other twin to handle!).

They go to nursery two days a week whilst I am at work and he used to love it but again now constantly complains that he doesnt want to go, I think it is even winding up the nursery staff now as he is so negative about everything. He is also quite violent towards his twin and also does not listen to anything that we say to him, he stares into space if you ask him a question and says something totally unrelated.

I thougth it was a phase but am starting to get really worried about him now. I dont want him to go to school in 18 months and be completely anti-social.

Has anyone else had any behaviour like this from their children? And if so does it have a name (cluthcing at straws here!) or do you think it is just a reaction against his twin who is totally different?

What a nightmare! I wish I could give you some advice but I've never experienced anything like this. I would deffinatly speek to your G.P to rule out anything medical and maybe your H.V. I'd also talk to the nursery about it and see what they say. Has somthing happened that's upset him? I'd also try talking to him quietly on his own to try to see what's bothering him. Maybe try to get a babysitter and spend some quality time alone together. He may be feeling left out, or overshaddowed by his twin. He might feel as if he can't compete with him, so has given up trying. Good Luck

bump for the evening crowd - I really need help on this!

My DD went through a similar phase when she was about that age. She really needed more sleep than she was getting but just wouldn't nap during the day so we ended up spending more time indoors doing lazier things when she really should have been napping then being more active. Thankfully now she has grown out of it and has a nap when she needs it and is more active the rest of the time.

Do you think it could be a similar cause with your DS?

I also wonder if things don't go well when you go out i.e you end up having to carry him etc, that it puts him off going out next time?

Maybe it would be worth getting his iron levels checked etc to rule out anything physical? (even with a good diet some children do not absorb enough...)That caused huge lethargy and grumpiness in my friends dd.

from vague memory I think mild stomach and leg pains can be other symptoms...but best to get it ruled out anyway. Failing that I would discuss with Doc to see what else might be worth checking out.

Good luck.

I think I would get him assessed.

when he is laying on the sofa is he kind of "starey" like he is day dreaming?

I'd talk to gp. She can check for things like iron levels.

At about 2.5 yrs, my ds1 became lethargic. He also suffered from night sweats and had a solitary enlarged gland in his groin. He eventually tested postitive for glandular fever. After a few months he perked up a bit. But when he reached 4.5 he suddenly became his old self - a ball of energy. And he hasn't stopped since.

Maybe it's worth a trip to the docs, to rule out anything physical, especially as you can see how his twin is so different.

thanks everyone for your input - I think I will make an appointment with the GP for him and take it from there.

And UC - yes he is starey like he is day dreaming, it is really hard to get his attention, he is in his own world 95% of the time.

My dd did this and it turned out she was anemic (4.5 yrs old). I now realise she has probably been slightly anemic every winter.

She was falling asleep, stopped dancing, didn't want to go out, weepy about everything, extremely irritable and bad-tempered.

I went to GP and got blood tests done at the hospital the same day. Results within a week.

It will take months for her to recover (blood cells take 120 days to regenerate). So glad I insisted on blood tests.

At the very least it will help rule stuff out.

The reason i asked is that my ds is 3 and sounds very similar to yours.

I am very reticent to put this as it is probably not the same at all - internet diagnoses and all that. But maybe google Petit Mal/Grand Mal and see if the symptoms they give sound familiar to you xx

thanks for that info UC - I have had a look, the staring/not being conscious of those around him sounds like him. I am definitely going to take him to the docs. He also refuses to be potty trained and is 3 years 3 months now but doesnt appear to have any control the few times I have attempted to train........

It may well be connected. If he is unaware of whats going on a lot of the time then he wont have the control yet. Please keep us informed when you see GP. If they start talking about scans/mri/eeg dont panic - like i did!- it's more to rule out things than to find something.

Maybe try to google 'sleep apnea in children' as well and see if that sounds like DS. My friends DS had it (he was one of male twins too) and is so much better since his operation. Good luck!

My friends little dd was recently diagnosed as coeliac. She was really lethargic and not putting on weight. She is a different child now.

Definitely go to the drs!