3yo says he has nightmares all the time

[BoysOnToast]

my ds2 (middle child) has been saying for ages that he has nightmares 'every time i go to sleep' i managed to get out of him today that they are different nightmares each time, not the same one over and over (not that one is better than the other, but thought it might mean something to someone)

like i say, hes been saying it for ages... but i haven't known whether to take it literally before... he had a nightmare, and then seemed to express all his sadnesses/upsets in those terms.. so i figured it was a language thing. but its been going on for a long time now and hes still saying it.

he does go to sleep pretty well, but theres usually a few tears and 'i dont want to go to bed!' s before he does settle. and there never used to be.

and he has generally seemed more melancholy and easily upset since about christmas tbh. unfortunately i don't know how to find out whats wrong, because i don't think even he knows, and if he did, i don't think he'd know how to express it.

his teacher has noticed too (nursery class).

he doesn't seem miserable all the time, but he hardly ever did before so its noticeable.

any ideas?

I do know that 3 years old is absolutely classic timing to have these nightmares, many children do and I think alot of it is unavoidable. I have noticed ds who is five now only really has them at times of stress, eg going back to school - times when he's got alot to think about.

Often children aren't able to remember or describe the dream.

I think avoid rich/too much food just before bed but you probably do that anyway.

It's interesting his teacher has noticed about him being more melancholy lately...is the teacher going to keep a special eye just in case he is having difficulties with any particular child? What about siblings - is his younger sibling becoming more demanding or time consuming, maybe that's something he's starting to notice or resent?

My 4yo dd says she has had "a nightmare" when she obviously just wants some extra attention- sometimes within seconds of me tucking her in!! It sounds like there is something worrying your ds, and he is maybe saying it is nightmares for the reassurance he knows you will give, rather than because that is the actual cause, IYSWIM?? Could it be a separation anxiety thing? I think it is this with dd- it started when dh came home after time in the gulf, and she became really clingy to me. She doesn't like going to bed, cos we will be "apart". So far I have been reassuring but firm. She tries to get you to stay and talk about it with her, and it goes round and round and on and on (her papa fell for it!), and I can't see dewlling on dragons and suchlike just before ligts out is going to help her. I talk to her about something nice, and encourage her to think about that, say quite definitely that there are no monsters etc in the room and leave. But she IS quite manipulative, so maybe your son is genuinely scared!

yes i thought that honoria, about it just being normal... and yes, i think he really feels the old middle child thing, his (slightly) bigger brother getting all the 'grown up' praise and (slightly) younger brother getting to be the 'baby' ... its all a bit much when youer only 3 i guess!

and yes, the teacher is keeping an eye. its a small class and his teacher an dhe seem to have a good bond, so i have no worries on that front. he seems v popular with the other kids too.

redjools - exactly! i have written it of so far as him just saying the word nightmare for the cuddles and comfort he gets. but i do think theres some genuine upset, and i often hear him tossing about and murmering away in his sleep... i dunno. even if it is just to get the attention, the fact he wants it is something i want to understand the cause of, you know?

anyway - cant stay and post/read for now - ds3 been sick all day and needs some lovin'. and ds1 and 2 tired from school - gotta get bed/bath underway.

thanks for your input ladies, i appreciate it.