Sleepless 4 week old with reflux - so upsetting for us all

[rubyblue]

Our ds is 4 weeks old and nights are a nightmare to the point where last night after 3 hours of non-sleep and screaming, I was sobbing along with him. He goes down ok around 10pm (after mega feed) but from 2am onwards, it is almost impossible to get him off to sleep. Last night I tried for 3 hours to hold him to sleep and then put him in his moses basket but as soon as I put him down he would scream. I don't think he was in pain with his reflux as he wasn't squirming, probably just the loss of comfort. He's getting better at sleeping during the day and I'm wondering if it's too long (3 hour stretches?) which is keeping him awake at night. I have even picked up the GF book and am considering trying a routine but it looks so difficult!

Any tips?? I've tried swaddling (he wriggles out), shushing, patting, stroking him in the basket...I'll do anything!

He's so little and can't yet distinguish day from night. It may be a while before he goes longer than 3 hours at all. Sorry you're having a tough time , is he sleeping on a slope (helps with reflux )

Hi Lizs, yes, we've propped up his mattress but he seems to hate being on his back and I'm too scared to put him on his tummy. Side sometimes works but not when he's really upset.

Oh, poor you, it's a real bugger isn't it?

DD slept in her bouncer for the 1st 5 months of her life because it was the only place we could get her to sleep. Tilting the mattress didn't seem to help her particularly. Just experiment with lots of different ways and go with whatever works.

We also got some infant Gaviscon to add to her milk and that seemed to do the trick. Doctors are reluctant to hand it out, but if your baby just isn't sleeping then that's hardly a healthy state of affairs for either of you is it?

The doc told me that reflux usually happens 'cos the sphincter at the top of the digestive tract doesn't work very well when some babies are little and should sort itself out by about 3 months-ish. We kept her in the bouncer until 5 months because we were too scared in case we went back to the bad old days of no sleep again!

Personally, I think GF would stress you out too much at this point. I understand your desire to bring some order to the terrible chaos that a reflux baby brings, but it ain't the lack of a stict routine that's the problem, it's the reflux. Hang on in there I know it doesn't feel like it right now but, it will get better eventually I promise.

my ds was same at this age we had pillows under moses mattress and this did work but was told after evry feed leave propped right up for 10 mins before putting down for sleep

it will get better for you it so tiring i remember forgetting my ds name as i was so tired

routine just doesnt work at this age apparently they can tell dasy and night at 8 weeks this was when i started a routine

good luck i hope all settles soon not nice for baby or parents x

imho don't force routine on him . Refluxy babies tend to feed far more frequently and less amount than other lo's.

Thanks so much for the advice, especially re. routines as I was beginning to stress about that one already. To be fair, he is pretty good at going 3 hours between feeds normally and he's putting on weight. We've got gaviscon but I don't think it's doing much for him. Will try the propping up and pillow under the mattress trick.

my ds had gaviscon and didnt seem to make too much difference also i had to wind him after every ounce he drank

it seemed that he was trying to drink to much too quick he was on large feeds so young but drained his bottles so had to give feeds evry few hours but less ounces

by the time he was 4 mths i had him off gaviscon and all was well

propping up did help i would say to wind after every ounce also just to alliminate any other things that can distress as my ds always bought up his wind but was never enough and this helped loads

i had to hold up my ds for about 1-2 hours after every feed at that age due to his reflux. At night i never put him down until he was in a deep sleep as otherwise he would wake up with reflux and we would have to start again.

must agree with giving gaviscn and keeping them proped up. if they like to eat a lot get them to take it slowly otherwise their little tummies cannot take it and up it comes.

i found haveing a warm nightie a blanket and a comfy chair to sit in helped in the night. the night routine should start coming in very soon, just make sure they get plenty of daylight when they are awake during the day and keep it dim at night.

hi there, my son has reflux very bad (he's 4mths now) these are the things we found worked best:
~feed him almost sitting up & hold him in an upright position- sitting on your lap- for about 20 mins after a feed
~2 hour nap in the morning, 2 hour nap in afternoon and 1/2 hour nap about teatime. don't put him to bed on a full tummy apart from bedtime feed.(your baby will prob need more sleep as he is younger)
~SMA staydown is great & you can get it on prescription. it is thicker than normal formula & works a treat.
~have the cot on a tilt so his head is higher
~have him sleep on his side
~split feeds in two-one half then 20 minute play or chat then the oter half (except for bedtime feeds)

with regards to routines we tried the baby whisperer, now he has feed @ 6 pm, bath, bed. dream feed @ 10pm and sleeps til 8am. with 4 feeds during the day. with BW he was doing 7hrs@night by 5 weeks.

These worked for us, they may not work for you as everyone is different. in the end, just try what you want & do what's best for you & your baby.

esp. important: don't listen to the HV's who threaten you with 'further action' if your reflux baby doesn't put on weight fast. find a nice GP & get him weighed there instead.

do whatever makes you & baby happy.

hope that helps xxx