Hello bad mothers everywhere...

[phlossie]

Last week I:

• gauged a chunk out of ds's shoulder with my fingernail when I grabbed his hood (was stopping him from being runover, to be fair)
• let a door swing shut and trap dd's leg
• was told that I shouldn't have eaten peanut butter while pregnant and breastfeeding, and definitely shouldn't have been giving it to my ds since he was one...

The worst thing I have done to date was lock my children and keys in the car. It took over an hour to rescue them!

Tell me in what ways you've been a bad mother to make me feel better!

Came home from A&E with DS2 in plaster cast for broken leg...plonked him tenderly inside house...turned round for DS1 and watched door blow shut, locking me out. Two emergency services in 24 hours!

On Monday I thought DS (18 months) was a bit quiet (I was reading a cookbook at the time -good mother 1 point). I thought I'd better go and see what he was up to and realised that the front door had blown open and he had taken his chance and toddled off! I ran outside shouting him and enrolled the help of a poor old chap walking his dog. He was found minutes later at the back of the house with his new favorite toy a broomstick. Always putting the lock on the front door from now on!

Tillyyscoutsmum, just done the same thing with DD tonight in the bath. She's just learned to roll over. Didn't seem happy at first but think she's forgiven me

I left my ds2 in a creche to go to aquanatal. Upon collecting him was told by a member of staff "Er, that isn't your baby. Your baby is over there, asleep in the corner."

when ds was 2 I went out to investigate a leak in our alleyway - ds slammed the door and locked himself in
I had to ring dh at work (luckily he was working in the same town we lived in) and a colleague had to drive him home with the key

When ds was about 12 weeks we were driving home from my parents (3 hour drive) and it was all a bit fraught as it was late and we were stressed and dh trapped poor little ds' little finger in the car seat. He was screaming and we didn't know why It must have hurt like hell

Oh God, I can make you feel soooo much better:

Both my dds fell off the bed as babies (you'd think I would have learned after the first time!)
dd1 got into MIL's pills and had to spend a day under observation in hospital- worst day of my life!! She was fine, we were wrecked!
Caught dd1 with the dog's sedatives (unopened!)
cut dd1s finger when cutting her nails as a baby, and I howled for over an hour, and phoned dh to come home from work!
just the other day gave baby (15wks) one of dds maracas to play with, as couldn't find rattle. Wondered why they were a "3 and over" toy, until he shook it, nearly had a heart attack and promptly smacked himself on the forehead with it

If that's not enough, my friend has managed to dislocate both her ds's shoulders in seperate incidents! the standing joke is that none of her kids are proper members of the family until she has pulled their arm out of its socket!
I think I'm the worst here

left stairgate open for 10m ds to fall down (this was Monday, btw, so still about it!)

next day, left him sleeping a little too close to the edge of the bed and sure enough, rolled over and went splat.

I am hoping that's it for a while...

Ds has fallen out of bed more times than I care to mention (we co-sleep).

Was too engrossed reading a magazine to notice ds has legged it out of the room and to the top of the stairs, falling down headfirst. Found him at the bottom on his back, with his mouth framed in a scream. Luckily stairs were carpeted.

Ds was on a climbing frame, happily turning a wheel. Dd distracts me for 30 secons. Ds gone. I find him at the bottom of the frame, on his back, mouth framed in a scream. He must have tried to slide down the pole, having seen dd do it, having no idea how to, of course, all 17 months of him.

See a pattern here? Maybe I should weld a crash helmet to his head. Don't remember dd cracking her head so many times.

DD fell off sofa onto wooden floor when 5 months old

She got hold of a bottle of facial wash which I hadn't put the lid on properly and she ate some

I was walking through the door with her in my arms, she arched her back and hit her head on the door frame

She slipped under water in the bath for a second or two.

I got soap in her eye when giving her a bath and she SCREAMED

Spilt a bit of a cup of tea on her head whilst breastfeeding her (it warm tea rather than hot)

HAve accidentally poked her in the eye when putting her in the buggy

Fed her a mouthful of too hot food (i forgot to check it first )

Found her with a pencil sharpener in her mouth (she had got it out of my mum's handbag)

Has fallen over countless times trying to pull up or crawl.

She's only 8 months old
But she was fine each time.

having recently potty trained my dt's i braved a walk to park in pants...on way home dt1 decided he needed a wee mummy.....we found a wall for him to wee against but he promptly decided to poo too - pulled his trousers up quick when he finished, looked round made sure no one watching and legged it home.....

My mum tripped over the curb and dropped me on the pavement when I was 6 weeks old and I fractured my skull.
Clumsiness must run in the family

LOL (but so obviously not funny) at all the bumped headed, splatted babies - who are all fine.

Reminded me that I accidentally stabbed DS in the eye with my fingernail whilst he was sat on my shoulders and I was helping him to get down.

And he did fall of the sofa once when he was 6 months old.

And he has banged his head on the doorway a couple of times when I'm carrying him.

LOL (but so obviously not funny) at all the bumped headed, splatted babies - who are all fine.

Reminded me that I accidentally stabbed DS in the eye with my fingernail whilst he was sat on my shoulders and I was helping him to get down.

And he did fall of the sofa once when he was 6 months old.

And he has banged his head on the doorway a couple of times when I'm carrying him.

Oops sorry double post. Stupid pooter...

I was dressing DS1 in a hurry one day and zipped his hoody up (without really looking what I was doing) and caught the skin on his neck in the zip. I felt really bad, he really cried and wouldn't let me zip any coats/jackets all the way up for ages afterwards.

And everytime I attempt to trim DS2's fingernails I make one of his fingers bleed.

18 years ago accidentally closing a door on my toddler son's finger which was in the crack of the door (by the hinges). The end came off and he had to have it stuck on with steri-strips at A&E. He still has a scar today and I can still remember it to this day. I think it only happened as we were very worried about the oldest child who was sick and we were waiting for the GP to make a home visit.

sat night I tipped a pint glass of water over co-cleeping 5 month old DS at 2.30am. one minute he was dreaming of breasts/his cat/his teddy, the next he was wide awake, naked and drenched with nowhere to sleep.
he's fallen off the sofa.
fell asleep try ing to get him to bed one evening when he was about 6 weeks old. woke up at 1.30 in the morning fully clothed. he was asleep next to me with a duvet and two pillows on top of him.
oh and the cat sleeps in his cot.
I think i'm pretty slack considering he's my PFB.

ROFLMAO sophus

I am sniggering wildly at this thread!

I've put DS on a changing table, and for reasons I still cannot fathom, walked away and into the bathroom. Whilst my mother was there (as is the law of sod). You can guess what happened next....

both mine have rolled off the bed.

Have poked DD in the eye whilst changing her (had inch long fingernails at the time )

Have done the not-strapped-in thing with DS, and stopped suddenly so he's come flying out. Except I scolded him loudly and said "you really shouldnt try to get out the buggy whilst I'm walking or you will hurt yourself" because we were walking up the main school entrance and I didnt want to look bad

I've trapped DD's finger when putting the play-tray back on her babywalker!

DH tried to catch DD once when she was 9 mths old and was falling off MILs lap and accidentally punched her in the face and split her lip

Was waving DH off to work one morning holding DD when she was about 4 weeks old when she suddenly arched backwards and cracked her head on the steel-frame(crittle) windows

My father managed to pull my dds elbow out of joint when she was about 10mnths old; not by force all he did was lift her slighty by the arms and he felt really terrible when he drove us all to A&E as surgery was out of hours. The doctor on duty told us not to worry about it, as it is really common for this to happen to children under the age of about 3, as their joints are very loose and soft.

Then low and behold I did exactly the same thing 3 months later to her other elbow when I was holding her arms up and walking her along, again all I did was lift her up slightly about 1/2 an inch off the ground, I couldn't believe it had happened again and I felt terrible. This time we went to the on duty emergency doctor at our surgery, all he did was click the elbow back in, it took about 3 seconds.

Again, he said he hoped that I wasn't feeling guilty about it as it is a common occurence at this age. But I felt terrible and it made me feel quite low for some weeks. I think that her arms are stronger now, she is 21mnths and it has never happened since. The GP seemed to think that some children's joints were weaker than others at this age.

OK DS1

• put him on the bed to sleep, pillow to his right, left and the bottom of him, didnt put one at the top and heard an almighty scream went up and could only see his legs poking out the top of the bed he had slipped down the back of the bed headfirst!

He fell off the bed a few times,

Fell down the stairs

doing up his poppers on his dungarees i caught skin on his leg he screamed and I thought he was being his usal self crying when getting dressed and kept going!

still falls out of bed regularly now.

When he was 2 he ate 4 annadin and we spent a night in alder hay hospitla where he had to have blood tests etc... Felt really bad about that.

DS2

scratched him

caught his balls hard (ouch!)

Fell off the bed twice

Fell off the couch twice

stood on his toe

banged his head a few times getting him in the car.

He's only just turned 1 so theres still time yet

• dropped a little radio on his head

• gouged a piece of skin off his leg while we were playing (he was 6months at the time. stll has a scar)

• hit his head on the car door too many times to remember

• caught him licking a plug-in

• fell off the bed quite a few times

• and just now scratched him again. big red mark on his back.

My mum recounts how she regularly stabbed me (pfb) with the nappy pin. Also dropped me on the floor and headfirst into the fireplace (luckily unlit). I turned out fine!

The worst thing I've ever done is when ds was only a few months old and, in my defence, I was very stressed and tired as he was a colicy and refluxy baby...

I drove a few miles with ds in a lie-flat car-seat and when I got to my destination realised I hadn't strapped him in - at all
I try not to think about this too much as it gives me cold sweats!!

oh no thats my worst one too Nooname - couldnt beleive it when went to take him out... cue comedy bulging eyes eeeeeeeeek - my mum noticed and I jsut hissed don't tell DP!!!
recently was on busy road and didnt have DS (now 2) in buggy or on reins as was waiting to get picked up by MIL, friend came along so was distracted by chatting - next thing turned round DS at edge of pavement grinning manically, he could easily have ran out on road, friends DH looked at me like 'jeez your are one bad mother' I figure that I have had fright now so will be more careful in future needless to say didnt tell DP about that one either...