What to do about attachment objects?

[Pinchypants]

My DD is coming up for 19 months. For her first Christmas (she was almost five months) my mum bought her a Flatout Bear. Dunno if you've seen them - they are flat (ie no filling) sheepskin bears from Australia, v soft and lovely but no-one stocks them and they are incredibly expensive - like £39. (I know, it's crazy). As DD is PFB, didn't think twice about letting her become gradually very attached to Bear, as she calls him. He has been a lifesaver on a number of occasions, including sleeping in strange places and settling in to nursery. This Christmas, however, he was mauled by my in-laws' dog and despite excellent darning by MIL, he has been falling to bits ever since. Last week I bit the bullet and ordered another one. I'm not being terribly successful on the 'handover' however - the new bear looks and feels dramatically different (ie soft and fluffy and clean instead of a manky ol' bit of sheepskin!). She took New Bear to nursery by himself today and it was fine, but I tried to settle her for her nap when we got home and she was inconsolable until I got Old Bear for her. Any suggestions for phasing out/in smoothly? And how long it might take? I know it's a little thing but so is she, so it's a big thing for her. And me, clearly

I have baby number two on the way, by the way, and it's gonna be encouraged in the direction of a 'special muslin' [ahem] rather than a luxury imported product, obviously...

One of my friends was given the advice of buying four of any attachment objects so they all aged at roughly the same time and got handled equally in and out of the house, and there was no crisis due to dirt/loss etc. Good advice, if you can afford it!

Give her both of them for a few weeks until the new one takes on the right smell/feel. Then give her one or the other (a different one each time) for a few weeks, then just the new one.

I sympathise with the attachment dilemma, I have 3 "Curlys" in case one gets lost. DS is also very attached to my childhood bear, which obviously can't be replaced, so it never leaves the house.

I know this sounds weird , but can you sew them (temporarily) together by the paw or something. That way she has both with her and gets used to the new one even if she is choosing hte old one. Then separate them and she gets the new one.

I do sympathise as both my boys have zmooz (made of cotton rather than shepeskin). We have two of each of theirs so that one cna go in the wash. LUckily, they only needed actually replacing when they were much older (maybe 2-3 ish) so they just accepted the replacements.

Thanks both of you - good ideas! Have decided to leave Old Bear in cot as Bed Bear, and give her New Bear to take to nursery, which she seems fine about. She asked for Bear yesterday afternoon and I gave her the new one and she said something which approximated to (to a trained ear!) 'no, that's mummy's bear, I want my bear'... It's obviously doing her head in a bit as even during the night there was the occasional sleepy yowl 'Bear!' so perhaps she is even having bad dreams about not having him... The complicated little world of toddlers, eh?

I sympathise! My DS became attached to a Moulin Roti giraffe thing - not available anywhere, I have to buy them from an internet company who import them from France.

I have about 3 in circulation, so they all look and feel the same. However, I introduced a new one the other day, and DS really didn't like it. The colours were lovely and bright, not old and faded. But he accepted it in the end.

I'm sure your DD will learn to love New Bear! I know it's expensive, but might it be worth buying another one so that the wear and tear is spread out a bit? For a long time I told my DS that there was only one giraffe, but now he knows there are several.

When I was a kid I become so attached to my fluffy donkey that he eventually wore out. As it was near Christmas my mum told me if I left him under the tree he would be magically rejuvenated ( replaced) Which I thought was amazing. I got through 3 Mr Donkeys by then time I was 5 and believed this every time. He was also replaced by the easter bunny at one point.