Daytime naps.

[whatgoeson]

Hello! Any suggestions greatly appreciated!

My four month old daughter sleeps really well at night (7.30pm-8.30am) But won't have any day time naps. I can see she is tired - rubbing eyes, yawning and grizzling, but if I put her down in her swing or her cot (with blackout blind, or not) she screams blue murder! Just given up (again) after a good 30 mins of all hell breaking loose and me going in every five / ten mins to stroke her hair / kiss her etc etc. She is now sat on my knee - obviously still tired and just moaning and grizzling . . . any ideas??!!

Many thanks!

ps - if I take her out in her pram, she's out like a light - but this doesn't help me get anything done in the house!!

Have you tried putting her down before you spot any signs of tiredness? I know it might seem odd - but I think sometimes children when they get to the rubbing eyes, grizzly stage, are already overtired and then really struggle to drop off.

I would have thought maybe try 2 to 3 hours after she wakes, after a nice big feed. Maybe worth a try...

Does she have a routine during the day? If you know the time she gets tired could you work the day around that being her nap time.

Play and cuddles then quiet time and nap, she will get the idea after a few days.

it's great she sleeps so well at night, but yes, this tired-but-won't nap thing is infuriating. My ds would only nap if walked - not great in the rain! Stick with it and try Honoria's suggestion. many babies get the hang of napping aroud the 6 month mark, if that's any consolation!

How about taking her out, get her to sleep and go home leaving her in the buggy or is it a case of buggy stops and she wakes?

I agree with honoriaglossop. At 4 mths my dd went down about 2-3hrs after getting up. Her naps were usually 0830-1000 and 1230-1430. Night sleep was 1900-0700. If you LO goes 1930-0830 then she will probably only need 30-45 mins am.

PS I forgot to say that IME I also found that if she was rubbing eyes and grizzling that dd had gone overtired and was a nightmare to settle. I definately found that putting down awake at regular times and for the full duration helped. After a week of complaining they do get into the swing of it if you persevere.

WGO - My ds is very similar. I've just posted something on the sleep section about having to leave him to cry it out. I hate doing it but if I go into his room and talk to him or pat him or try to reassure him the crying just gets worse. If I leave him to cry it usually takes 10 -15 minutes but he always goes to sleep which shows he must be tired. I think he just gets really antisocial and irritable and needs to be on his own.

I agree that if they're rubbing their eyes it's too late at that age, they can't seem to cope with the tiredness and it can change from a bit tired to frantically overtired in a matter of seconds. At four months I found mine needed to have a doze every couple of hours or so. Don't wait for the signs. Dds was rubbish at sleeping in the day at first, but soon got used to the routine and is fine now. I've tried all the methods, but now I put her in her sleeping bag, we wave out of the window(!) close the curtains, have a quick settling cuddle and then put her in and run. Sometimes she cries for a couple of minutes, but I don't go in unless she's really going for it. Most of the time she e settles well. You could try that one. Not sure about the buggy thing because she'll get used to it and sometimes it's just not practical.

Thanks! Some great suggestions - it never occurred to me she would be too tired to sleep by the time the signs were there -that makes sense! She doesn't have a routine in the day - a really dumb question - how do I get one? is it a case of being strict with my times and doing the same things each day at each time and she will get into it? I just feed on demand at the mo.

(She just fell asleep on the breast - spark out. After five mins, I gently put her down - eyes WIDE OPEN and yelling!) Ha!

Thanks again
xxx

I think it's not about being strict, but yes, about doing the same things at the same time so far as you can. No point saying "I'm not feeding till 11" then having a screaming baby for an hour; but if you wanted her to have a later morning nap, then it would make sense to do it after a good feed, whether that comes at 10am or anytime after...

Mornings can be pretty routine, there's the early feed on getting up, you probably already do much the same things each morning, getting up, fed, her dressed, you dressed, etc; I would just try to add in that later morning nap, maybe after a feed try getting a little blanket that she can associate with nap time, or her teddy, and taking her to her cot or where you want her to nap, and singing her the same song so that she learns a little relaxing routine and knows what's coming.

Don't stress though - no point in trying to force a routine.

I think I would watch for a few days to see when the tired signs appear then aim to have her fed and in cot by 30 mins prior to that time. So if she started grizzling and eye rubbing at 10-30-11ish then say feed about 930-1000 and then put her in the cot. Its always easier to get them to sleep on a full stomach. That will mean she isn't getting over tired and will wind down while feeding.
If you do get regular sleep times established you tend to find they start to sleep at those times where ever they are IYSWIM. Very handy for booking appts like hairdressers, going shopping etc.

WGO - I don't know if you've read the Baby Whisperer but it might help you work out how to introduce some sort of routine and help with the napping thing. I read it when DD1 was a few months old and found it really helpful, wished I'd read it sooner. I still found it helpful second time round. It talks about routine without being too rigid and also has a really good section on working out what babies cries/actions mean (eg. burrowing into your neck means tired not hungry as I'd always thought).

I rock my 4.5 mo to sleep in her pram during the day. Or walk her around the block then park up at home.
If your routine means you don't get to do what you want to do, don't do it! Bollocks to staying at home while all yor friends meet for lunch because baby's napping. You and your dd will sort it out in time - I say trust your instincts, get to know your baby, BURN the Baby Whisperer, and don't worry - it's still early days and you're doing brilliantly.

I'm not suggesting a routine that restricts what you do (blimey, with a baby and a toddler I'm all for getting out the house when there's something going on! ), ditto being ridid with times but I found the Baby Whisperer helped me work out what my baby wanted/was trying to tell me. I think with all books it's a case of trying what you like/think might work and disregarding the rest.

I did do that for a couple weeks the first time round - spent hours at home patting and shhing and stressing that ds was awake when meant to be asleep and that I was rubbish while friends were drinking tea at each other's houses. After I abadoned it, he fell into a natural routine and I swore I would go with the flow 2nd time around (which I'm doing with mixed success, but feel much more confident and happy).
Of course, it does work for some - like Lola, and from what friends have said, the Baby Whisperer is one of the best books of that type.

couldn't agree more Phlossie