2.5 year old delay/autism concerns

[Theonlygirlinthishouse]

I don't really know where to start with this.
I thought everything was going well with my 2.5 year old. He has been walking, talking and I thought developing generally quite well
although he has always hand flapped. However nursery have now said that they have concerns about his language and his playing/relationships

I thought his language was ok. He has words and is putting sentences together. 'I go nursery today', where mummy car? I not go to bed etc but I had noticed that he sometimes copied what his older brother said. If older brother says I'm going into garden, DS will echo it and want to do the same thing. I thought this was quite sweet and all part of learning but nursery say that he copies a lot what other children say. Of course, I googled it and have fallen down the rabbit hole of now wondering if he needs SALT and that it can be a sign of autism.

I also thought he was doing ok with playing etc. he plays with us and his brother, as well as their friends quite nicely but they are all older. Nursery have said that he just walks around or might look at what is happening and then take himself off and do his own thing. Again, the rabbit hole says this could be an early sign for autism.

I didn't have any major concerns before nursery said this last week. I have always thought he was a hard work child but out this down to him being my second and just being quite independent strong willed. He has always smiled at us and had good eye contact although I sometimes thought he was looking at my mouth rather than eyes but again, thought that was him trying to speak. He is so affectionate and points to things of interest or if he needs help reaching something although this tends to be more verbal now. I always thought he played quite nicely but maybe this isn't right if the children are always older. Nursery say he doesn't play with anyone which breaks my heart. He does have tantrums but with cuddles, they tend to be over in a few mins.

I am waiting to speak to nursery more about this but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas? I know you don't know my child but I am driving myself mad about what the future might hold but also about how I can help him. We didn't have this at all with our eldest and it has just all come as a bit of a shock.

Im sorry for the essay but if anyone has any advice on how to help him, I would be so grateful.

I think that if Nursery have some concerns I think you are definitely doing the right thing by listening to them.

First thing I'd do is this 2.5 years speech & language checker. If it says "you've answered no to some important questions" they have a helpline where you can talk through your concerns.

I'd also call the HV and say that the Nursery have some concerns about ASD. Ask her to refer him for a hearing test as Glue Ear can sometimes present as ASD.

Also ask her to do the 30 month Ages & Stages, you can fill this in and take it to the appointment with you.

And if you want to post in the SN Children Section, there are some experienced MNers in there who can talk you through the Assessment progress and understand how you might be feeling

@Theonlygirlinthishouse hi there I know this thread is relatively old now but I was just wondering if you had any kind of update on your little boy and how he’s doing? I stumbled across your post after also going down a Google rabbit hole with the same kind of concerns about my now 2.5 year old little boy. Any response would be great thank you