How best to deal with a very picky eater?? Eats nearly everything at nursery but refuses the same dishes at home?!!

[PussinJimmyChoos]

Its driving me mad! DS is 21mths and the food fads are getting worse!

I've made him a huge range of foods from scratch but he just refuses them if he doesn't like the look of them! We are now down to alternating between cauli/broc cheesy pasta bake and sweet potatoes with scrambled eggs, beans/sweetcorn as that is the only thing that meets with approval!

I've duplicated recipies that I know he eats at nursery but he takes one look and screams no. He has to like the look of the food before he even gets into high chair!

DH says I need to start being firmer and not offering alternatives, which I admit I did tend to do as he's had a lot of colds lately and so I've been more lenient because he's been poorly etc

How best to deal with this now? He's even getting to the stage where he screams at red food - tuna pasta bake, me putting tomato puree on a pizza base etc...

Ha, it sounds as if your DS eats more than mine.

DS won't eat any of the above and survives on bananas, weetabix, cheese, nasty processed chicken slices (won't eat the decent stuff), nan bread, toast, pizza and anything sweet, oh apart from the lovely chocolate rice pudding I slaved over this afternoon. But apparently at the CMs he scoffs down soup, casseroles, and even blinkin haggis !

Hard to say, but I'd say just go with the flow, all of the things he does eat are really healthy, and I think he will grow out of it ( she says hopefully). If DS doesn't like what he is offered then I will give him toast and he will get his dessert anyway because its usually fruit or a yoghurt.

I think basically just try not to let it stress you and keep offering him wee bits of different things.

Think I agree with your DH. I was a real softy with DD and its only since she turned 4 that she has started to eat a wider variety of food. With DS (poor 2nd child ) we were much tougher and he will eat most things.
The rule in our house now is 'either eat what you are given or go without' Mean but we all know where we stand and it means no bargaining/entreating/threatening/cooking all sorts/etc. Hard to start but well worth it.

If you are worried about his health (as I was with DD who thought all fruit/veg, apart from sweetcorn, was the food of the devil!) try a fruit smoothie at breakfast time. You can get 3-4 portions of fruit into them at the start of the day and not stress about it any more.

HTH

He loves yoghurt, bananas etc so that aspect of it is ok, its just main meals. He eats a lot at nursery, which is three times a week so I'm really grateful that he's getting some variety there!

At home he tends to ask for yoghurt as soon as he sees something he doesn't like so its hard to say if you don't eat that, you go without and no yoghurt as I worry about him being hungry in the night.....I am too soft aren't I??!!

I just don't understand why he's so picky at home but not at nursery!

That could be my post!!

DS goes through phases where he refuses "favourite foods" - right now its sausages... well meat of any form actually. At nursery he ate all his mince the other day and asked for more... little bugger.

No answers i'm afraid.. but suggest not offering choices... its not a cafe..... my DS simply won't eat it if he REALLY doesn't want it, but will often eat stone cold meals as he realises he's hungry and won't win against mean mummy

Puss. I am a nursery owner/cook and my DS3 will not even contemplate eating some foods at home that he'll happily when I've cooked them at nursery.

I'll join you in a..

Try it - let him go without, give him a cup of bedtime milk, and see what happens. Hopefully you can be reassured that he will survive the night.

LOL Bubble99 !! That says it all if you've even cooked it!!!! They are fickle little things aren't they!!

My ds is like this, and it drives me mad. The most encouraging thing I can offer is that he will not starve through stubbornness. if you have a good hv (mine is fab) it can be worth asking for reassureance, height/weight, but I'm sure you will hear a similar phrase!

I still have a ds who will only eat mash if it is the least of the evils on his plate and tells me he doesn't like something before it's even dished up when I know he will eat it!

tbh, just make it clear that the meal in front of him is all that is on offer. you say you've been offering alternatives, so it could be a bit of a control thing, esp if he eats the same meal at nursery. Also don't sweat it in the kitchen over his food, ok so he's more likely to eat it if it looks nice, but really, why stress if there is a good possability you'll be nuking later for his supper.

I usually offer fruit in between meals if they get whingy, if they are seriously hungry they will eat it and so get at least 1/5 of their 5 a day

If his skills are enough, you could try offering choices before you cook, ie pasta, pesto and sausages, OR sausages and mash. it offers a little control, but you are still the boss. Don't forget the skills of hiding veg either, my ds has eaten shop pesto with a small amount of mashed broccoli and loved it...ha ha! But I would advise putting a portion of 'normal' veg on the plate so he is used to seeing it, a couple of pieces of carrot etc, sometimes they love the strangest of things, my dd loves roast parsnip! Keep his portions small. less waste, and not so overwhelming. he might be willing to try the odd bite from your plate then the same from his own, but be careful with this, don't let them get to a point where their whole meal is eaten from yours!

Sorry, I've gone on a bit, but my son is a nightmare foodwise, so I thought I'd pass on a few tricks

Good luck

I cried the other day just from the sheer frustration of it all and I'm making myself tired by constantly trying to think of winning combinations for him that he would like the look of/eat/nutritious etc and lots of trips back and forwards to the kitchen - the other day I mashed two strawberries into some greek yoghurt - he watched me do it as I thought it would be fun for him to see the yoghurt change colour...he screamed at the lumps and so I ended up trotting back to kitchen, washing his bowl out etc and then just giving him plain greek yoghurt!!

Oh and he happily walked in with one of my hearing aid batteries last night(accidentally left it in my bag!) and was popping that in and out of his mouth - luckily I saw it and grabbed it (Thank you God)....so he'll even try Zinc Air batteries but not my home made leek and potato bake....

Go figure!!!

It's positive peer pressure at its best. I have lost count of the amount of parents who have been flabbergasted to hear the foods that their child has eaten with us - but wouldn't touch at home.

It will pass. DS1 seemed to live on yoghurts at one stage.

Are you eating the same as him?

In my experience children almost always eat better if their parents/siblings sit at the table with them and have the same meal.

He always eats with us - I make a point of that but not always the same things....I do use jars for DH and I (pasta or curry sauces) and I'm concerned that if we were to give him this, it would be too much salt for him.

I know I could do pasta sauces from scratch but the jarred ones are tastier than mine I've found! I do make pasta sauce for DS though....he just screams at the redness of it...or shakes the pasta until all bits have come off and are on my dining room wall in manner of Turner prize entry!

dd is just about the same age and does exactly the same - asks for seconds at nursery, but has only 2 meals she'll eat at home. In fact, nursery find it hard to beleive that she's a picky eater at home. Since she's not in any danger of fading away and does so well at nursery, I'm not worried, although it really bugs me that I'm having to do special meals for each child (ds is a comparative angel foodwise) and look foward to the day when we can work something better out!