3.5 year old development delay

[DD1984]

Hi there
My son is 3.5 year old, he has speech delay and can only say one word mumma
he drags us by holding hand to get the things he wants. Two way communication is not present as he doesn’t engage in conversation or directions.
Follows simple commands like close door, wash hands etc.
Engages in monotonous repeating play
we opted for private consultation with Griffiths development assessment where his overall development was 24 months old. No score on social/communication skills:
Anyone faced similar scenarios, trying to prepare myself for future

My daughter was the same, didn't talk at all. I suspected autism but her pediatrician basically laughed at me. She is actually now on the waiting list to be assessed after 4 years of me fighting for it.

She's 5 now and talks, but that was after speech and language failed and just made her lose confidence (it's better in other areas), we had portage which was also useless. When she still wasn't talking at gone 3 I started baby sign, which was very hard as she didn't point, wave or follow instructions. But eventually she managed to sign for food, drink, nappy and bed, and she signed I love you, which was the best thing ever since I didn't think I'd ever actually hear her say that.

The best thing I did to try and help my daughter talk was no longer use sentences with her, I'd shorted everything down a lot. So instead of "are you hungry" or "do you want a drink" I'd just say "drink" or "hungry" and shorted all my sentences down to 2-3 words and repeat myself a LOT. I got lots of pictures books like "first 100 words" etc, and we'd sit down and I'd point at each thing and name it, she liked that and took a liking to some objects in there and pages more than others.

It took a lot of work and patience, and a lot of fighting for people to listen to me. But now she's 5 she talks all the time, she doesn't always understand how to put a sentence together properly, and she still can't follow some basic instructions, and her speech is the same as, if not a bit behind her 3yo sisters. But I thought she'd never talk and it's amazing how far she's come.

I think your son shows some similar signs of autism to my daughter, maybe it could be worth going for an assessment?
It's hard on the NHS especially as they hardly listen to you, and they look for things like eye contact which my daughter is good at, in fact she does it too much. If you can afford it you can go private though.

@DD1984 @Lafoosa
hi! My daughter is so similar to both your kids, she is 3.3 and non verbal, she hand leads, points to request and reaches so her needs do all get met…im desperate for her to talk…we are getting private slt once a fortnight but its not enough, she is also a sensory seeker and i feel this is holding her back a lot as well as she always wants to be on the move
Its really tough and bot where we thought we would be at this age….

Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts, I am glad to hear you managed to find private SLT as we are struggling on that front, based in Egham, appreciate any leads

Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts, highly beneficial to understand different perspective.
Do you mind sharing your experience with Schooling as it must be difficult with SEN requirements, we will start searching schools in October

@Lafoosa

@DD1984 hi!
im in Ireland so things are different here (probably worse) the public waitlists are horrendous and even private lists are long, i have healthinsurance which helps a bit…
but my experience is that as the parent you need to be the slt and ot, if i could go back in time i would reduce my hours in work and spend time every morning doing slt homework with her, i would also go to an ot sooner as i now realise her attention span wasnt long enough
she has made great progress but its been a long battle and we still have a long way to go…other things that have helped
reduce screen time
look at nutrition/supplements that heal the gut and the brain (fish oil etc)
try to not compare to other kids
be open minded (in currently doing listening therapy)
basically you need to take matters into your own hands and come at it from every angle
my daughter has been approved for 1:1 support at preschool but they need to find someone to fill the vacancy, i dont lnow what the future holds but im hoping to send her to mainstream school when she is 5

@CK1988 Thank you once again, will work on your suggestion 🙏🏽

@DD1984 my daughter has been at two different primary schools since last September, neither of them were very good. Both claimed to have excellent SEN support, which I found to not be true.
They didn't give her work that was more suitable for where she was at developmentally and expected her to do well on the work that all the other children were doing. At the school I've just taken her out of she'd leave in tears nearly every day because her teacher told her she didn't try hard enough, and she needed to make more effort tomorrow so she didn't get a sticker like her friends. From what I saw, she was doing super well learning to write, learning the alphabet, basic maths, etc. She wasn't at the same level as the other kids, but coming from a child who'd only in the last 6 months learnt to talk, and still had trouble understanding I was absolutely amazed at how she was doing and school just belittled her all the time. Her speech therapist made her cry all the time by giving her toys and then snatching them back to try and force her to use words to ask for it, when at that time she didn't know how to do that.

She's actually home educated now and is doing way better. She talks all the time, and for the most part seems like any other child her age apart from some of her struggles understanding sometimes and the meltdowns. But even the meltdowns are way less now too.

@Lafoosa thanks for sharing…your daughter sounds SO similar to my daughter, your message gives me hope she will talk! Is your daughter social/interactive? Its sounds like she is doing really well and just needs a bit of extra support and time
Do you have any diagnosis? We are on waitlists, some days i think my daughter will definitely ger an asd diagnosis, other days i dont think she would…i dont think the label would give her any extra support or help anyway…

@DD1984 Hello, some update?