Can’t cope with sons behaviour

[courtney251]

My son is 3 years old. I’m struggling so much with his behaviour that sometimes I just can’t stop crying. He’s out of control and nothing I can do or say helps. He doesn’t listen. He hits not only me and his immediate family but his nursery teachers. He’s disruptive. He doesn’t follow any kind of instructions. I noticed around the age of two he was flapping a lot. I didn’t really pay attention but then nursery mentioned it so I took him to the doctors. The doctors said they think it’s just a habit but now he is nearly four and the flapping has got progressively worse like some days it will be constant and the behaviour is just so bad. His speech is great sometimes he sounds like he’s 15 and not 3. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Anybody?

Love your son. Show him you love him.

Sounds like he needs it.

Oh piss off you loser

Are there any other signs other than flapping and obvious behaviour issues that would signal special needs? I have 8 year old with autism and he was really bad around those ages especially with hitting and biting. I didn't have a clue about it staff at children's centre referred him to paediatrician.

Thank you for your reply. Nothing that majorly stands out apart from the flapping and the behaviour issues. The flapping is very noticeable it’s like he goes in to his own world. The doctor recommended i try to stop him when he does it but he would get upset so I just let him do it and thought that it would eventually but it’s been two years and the flapping has got more consistent. With the behaviour it’s like he will just switch and nothing I can say or will console him. Some things he does I do question like for instance if I’m wearing something he doesn’t want me to wear he will scream and have a meltdown until i change which I don’t think is normal for a 3 year nearly 4 year old. He becomes very addicted to things like since he’s discovered paw patrol we have watched it twice a day every day without fail but I don’t know if that’s something of concern?

That sounds ridiculous for the doctor to recommend stopping him flapping. Majority of the time flapping is a stim and really helps have some kind of control.
What kinds of things will he not want you to wear? It could be stuff that would overwhelm him somehow, bright colours or something to do with the texture, is he the same with his own clothes?
Watching the same thing repeatedly is very common it's to do with safety and learning and just enjoyment, I know a boy who watches the same football match over and over because it's a sense of relief that he knows what's going to happen.
If I were you I'd ask them at his nursery to observe him and give you some feedback and advice, it may seem like he's having these meltdowns for no reason but there's always something and they might have a better idea of things that trigger him and let you know their experience of him at nursery.
I'm not saying it is ASD but if it is children who have it rely heavily on routine so if things in the day aren't routined and consistent that could be setting him off. It's hard work and hard to get used to.