Just foiled 7yo dd's plan to run away from home tonight!!!

[chopster]

ds1 started throwing up a little while ago, went up to clean up and he was fully dressed and had trainers on. DD told him to do it, even though he didn't want to. He had his wallet with pocket money there, and dd's clothes were wedged in between a coupl eof toy boxes.

she was planning to run off to nanna and grandads (200 miles away ) because she 'wanted to see them'.

I feel shell shocked and upset. She has had her phases, but had generally been well behaved lately, school work has improved and she has been rewarded with pocket money and extra laptop time and later bedtimes. This week she has been misbehaving so last night she ended up in bed early then today she ended up sent to her room. Then she hatched this plan.

I've had words with her, even called my paretns and asked them to back me up, which my mum did. I'm not convinced I'm getting through to her though.

NO matter how much attention she gets, it's never enough, and with 2 yo twins, and a son with sn, I can't make more time. she gets a good hour in the evenings providing she has behaved, which has been most of the time lately. But of course she still prefers her grandparents, where she gets sweets, days out every day, junk food, and undivided attention - because they do only see her 3/4 times a year.

so, what the hell do I do now??

Blimey that must have been a real shock for you. She may not have actually gone through with it if you hadn't found her.

Found you chopster
my dd left home aged 6 during the daytime had a fifhgt with brother, we did not take her seriously when she said she was going to leave
how old is your dd?

Maybe you could go through some of the things that could have happened to her if she had gone through with it.

Found it helped, after we found her with backpack at the end of road to sit down and listen to her and make wishlist of things to do together, ie son to grandparents and daughter at home to do cooking or walk in park to feed ducks.

dd is 7, I've talked to her about what would have happned if she had left. I've told her in the morning I want her to write down anything that she is unhappy with at home or would like to change.

sorry to hear it ahppened to you too galaxymum. It's jsut not soemthing you ecxpect at that age!

It scared us sh....less
We were worried about losing her. Had a long chat about stranger danger and odd people. She said she stormed out because no one wanted her we were all to busy doing our own thing, from our point of view she had a fair share of time. Dad took her away to car show , no sex discrimination here and she started a theatre school on sunday pm and I ferried her to and fro made her feel more valued I guess.
hth
ps look at my shagpile thread and see if you have solution for me

I used to hatch plans to run away at a similar age. It always followed being told off or being sent to bed. I never ever actually left the house though. I would pack up all sorts of bits and pieces (very quietly) and then fall asleep!
The time that stands out most in my memory is when I had followed the usual routine and then woke up in the morning to find my bag unpacked and a message on my Magna Doodle saying 'I love Popple love Mummy'. I treasured that message (Mum was not at all demonstrative) until my brother maliciously erased it!
It was never made a big deal of or talked about. I guess I was attention seeking or just channelling my childish hurt or anger into doing something! Makes me laugh now!

it amazes me how elaborate it got. SHe asked for her piggy bank this morning, and now I know why!

I love the note thing, popple, I'm goign to do that.

I will try to find something else for her too, gm, but she is goign to have to wrok for it. I don't want to reward the bad behaviour iykwim.

Message withdrawn

Kelly, I saw the link to here......

What a damn shame! What a fright to get.

I think it is important, as galaxymummys says to do some talking and some listening at a quiet time (maybe when DTs in bed and DS occupied (crisps and telly?).

I think you need to take the focus away from her planning to leave and see if you can get inside her head and find out what she would like her life to be like.

I don't know if you remember the game I used to play with my DD1 where she would make a wish to the fairies and I would stick my fingers in my ears and hum and pretend I couldn't hear. I often did it if I felt it hadn't been a great day. One time she wished for me and DP and the DTs to go to the park together instead of someone taking her on her own. It was when the DTs were tiny and I hadn't realised that she felt sad about always being taken out alone.

That was an easy one to fix but maybe.......

Also, my other thought, could she have heard stuff from friends/news/TV about the missing little girl, Shannon? The TV keeps mentioning running away. Maybe its got inside her head and grown a story.

OMG!

you poor soul.

I write a letter ocassionally to my DD1. (Got that from a book, can't recall which)

Sometimes she makes her bed in the morning and always hangs up her clothes/uniform etc.

Sometimes I get a sheet of her own pretty writing paper and write to her, just a short note to say how smooth and tidy her bed was and how she is a colourful artist and that I love her.

She writes back to me now. Lots of letters about goldfish so I knew they were important She hides them under my pillow someimes. Maybe you could try similar......anything in the letters won't be talked about, only written about, confidential, nobody angry. That way if she wants to say that she bloody hates her brothers, it'll be ok!

Sorry Kelly, I hate it for you.

I don't let her watch the news, so she def hasnt seent hat. I hadn't seen that neither actually. She doesn't really knwo about child abductions yet, I didn't really want her to know yet.

She has a diary actually, I think I will hunt it out tomo and see if there is anything in there. I do like the idea of the letters though, and that is something dd will def go for. I think she may find it easier to express her feelings on paper. She tries so hard to please I don't think she can really tell me face to face everything that is bothering her.

Hi momma. It seems to be just that she did want to see her grandparents. SHe has been promised a week up there at easter and didn't want to wait. I have spoken to them and they care going to make more effort with emailing her, and speaking on the phone, etc.

She seems happy as ever today, playing with the boys so hopefully it isn't anything more to it than that. I'll be keeping a close eye on her.

Glad Kelly and I hope it all goes smoothly xxx.

You can't be sure what is talked about at school. My dd1 heard things about Madeline McCann I was surprised at and I don't have the news on when children are around either. I do tell dd about things like that though. I just say that there are nasty people out there, not many at all, that most people are good, but some aren't and that we must be careful. I want her armed for everything.

Kiss her when she's sleeping and whisper what you want to say. She'll hear.