DD nearly 10 months and refusing to eat - I can't take any more...

[leonieandevie]

I'm actually beginning to feel depressed as I blame myself.
She's always been a fussy eater but has always eaten 3 meals a day before. I'm still breastfeeding - to be honest if I didn't she'd fade away. She was a really chubby pup up until now and I can't bare seeing her lose weight. She'll only eat houmous and grapes, which I end up giving her in desperation.
This morning she had a teaspoon of banana porridge, and 5 grapes and a mouthful of smoothie
Lunch was one tube of pasta, some houmous on breadstick and a few grapes.
Admittedly we have all had gastric flu recently but I've noticed this has been happening for a while. I think her top 2 teeth may be coming through finally as she's biting everything in sight, but surely she'd still want SOMETHING to eat?
I break down regularly which isn't good for her to see - she's such a joy and is so beautiful happy and smiley. No developmental probs and is really energetic and trying to walk on her own.
Is this a phase? Please tell me it is.....I'm panicking even more as we're moving to Sydney in a month and I couldn't cope with this without family and friends around me.

you sound totally stressed out

she sounds utterly normal

she is still a tiny baby! (well 10 months seems tiny to me as I look at hulking 21 month old)

do you let her feed herself? sounds like you'd be better off putting food in front of her and letting her get on with it, esp if you are still bfeeding.

and if she is energetic and healthy then you really have noting to worry about

please don't get so sterssed out around her at meal times

Hi Leonieanddevie - it sounds as though the gastric bug and teething (which have happened to coincide) have perhaps caused her to lose her appetite.

I give it a few weeks - with you feeding her and little nibbles here and there, she won't starve herself and as her strength builds up again, I bet she'll start eating again.

My DS was awful when teething (which seemed to last forever!) and just as was getting a bit better after xmas, he's now taken once again, to surviving on not much other than air!

If she's eating the houmous with grapes, could you add in some small squares of toast and banana but keep the houmous and grapes too as she'll recognise those.

Just keep trying her on little bits now and again throughout the day until she's back to her old self.

ditto honenid.

they go through phases. Don't stress.

she's fine. put food in front of her, let her feed herself.

hummous and grapes is fab anyway.

Her body shape will begin to change soon because she'll lose chubbiness as she becomes mobile.

Don't fret

DS went through phases where he ate sod all and made up for it when bfing. Milk should be her main food until a year anyway, so try not to stress .

DS really only started eating properly when I cut out the night feeds at 15mo, but I wouldn;t have been happy cutting down before a year.

Thanks TheHonEnid, I'll try and walk away if I get upset again, but its inherent in us to worry about this - as mums all we want to do is nurture our children and I am the ultimate worrier..
I think I'm just so scared that I've tried too hard and she'll never get to grips with it. She does eat finger food but ridiculously small amounts. Today she refused a yoghurt for the first time.
I know she's playing me to a certain extent but without my DH here (he's already in Sydney) I'm so on my own in making the right decisions. And, I don't want a skinny baby!

Is she dropping down the charts? Her body shape will change - no-one could accuse DS of being skinny (on 91st percentile) but he goes through phases of looking chubby and then stretching out.

Thanks everyone else - why is it that I'm getting so much more uptight than you guys? Maybe it me that needs help?! Actually I'm serious - I've never felt low like this before. Can anyone recommend a remedy for exhaustion, that can also help breastmilk production? She won't drink formula and I'm totally knackered which is slowing down my milk production - i.e. my udders are drying up!

My DS sometimes goes completely without food - but its usually because he's coming down with something, sick with something or recovering from being ill. I do always worry and my mother always reminds me not to. Its hard I know.

As for exhaustion - I've been having catnaps recently. If the kids are asleep at the same time (2 months and 17 months) I will just put my head down where I am and sleep for 10-15 mins or longer if they let me. It doesn't sound much -but it completely takes the edge of exhaustion and gives you a boost of energy and makes you feel a little less crazy too.

It's because we've all been there before and know exactly how you're feeling.

You'll be fine and she will start eating again.

I bet your milk isn't drying up - she's perhaps just really good at getting it really quickly and efficiently.

Just eat filling healthy meals, and make sure you keep drinking (no, not gin) and you're milk will be fine. If you get dehydrated you'll feel lethargic and more tired too.

I think I may have a g & t tonight anyway - its been a tough old day. feeling a lot better thanks to everyone, just hope she actually gets her teeth soon, as its taking months for these top 2.
this is going to sound a little paranoid but she's been asleep for over 2 hours this afternoon - is she lethargic from lack of food - oh god should I just shut the hell up?

Is there the possibility she might still be ill - can you take her to the GP?

10 months is hard (actually, I found the 6-12 month period all pretty hellish). Is she waking at night as well (DS was. All the time). I think we expect to be tired when our babies are little but the older baby stage can be much, much harder AND you have to faff about cooking stuff which they then throw on the floor .

Get as much rest as you can, nap when she naps if possible, and be kind to yourself . She is still little and you are still the mum of a young baby and eligible for all sorts of allowances

Aw. Ditto all posters below. I've just read a fab book called 'My Child Won't Eat' published by LLL. The amount of food you have described sounds loads to me!

Really, try not to worry. My ds ate really well till the week he turned one, then he both self-weaned and almost stopped eating for months! The amounts you are describing were pretty typical. Teeth were definitely involved, but I think he also hit whatever the opposite of a growth spurt is.

I stressed and stressed till I started reading up on it and kept finding the same advice, they won't let themselves starve, just try and be relaxed about it. Then suddenly, one day, he started eating loads again, and hit another growth spurt. They just go through phases, and as long as she's well in herself and energetic, I wouldn't worry.

If you're concerned you could talk to your hv about vitamins, but as long as she's breastfeeding she's got access to perfect nutrition for her anyway. Just keep giving her access to healthy foods and try and make interactions around food relaxed and I'm sure she'll be fine.

Sounds to me like she's doing fine and you need to focus on giving yourself the nurturing at the moment! Take care and do whatever you need to feel better - sleep, eat well yourself, get time out if you can. The move is probably worrying and it's fine to prioritise making yourself feel better - then you can look after everyone else better too.

Also (sorry for waffling on!) I found that while bfing got physically much easier after 6 months I also seemed to find it more tiring, I read something about the composition the the milk changing as your baby ages and getting more calorific? Maybe ask in the BFing section here. Anyway, at around the year mark I lots about a stone pretty quickly, which I think was a combination of feeding a lot and looking after an increasingly mobile child (and not getting any sleep). I'm not saying stop or cut down on bfing, but give yourslef a bit (LOT) of latitude, esp if you have other stresses. And complain on MN a lot too (I certainly did!)

My DD did not really take to solids until 13 months. It drove me close to a deep depression when you prepare 3 meals a day and 95% of the food goes in the bin. Even now at 15 months she will eat a very limited range of foods. She is still BF and I am trying to wean her but with no great success she is a boob addict and I can't cope with the floods of tears when I say no.

Some of us have children that don't seem to take solids that easily. I've got the LLL book too but not that useful after 12 months

What I did with DS1 (now 2.5 but very fussy eater after two difficult stomach bugs when he was about 9 months old) is to write a list of things he liked, and try to add new things to it, and then try to alternate things I knew he liked and new things. He now loves loads of fruits, but still doesn't eat meat. If your DD likes grapes, you could try blueberries and raspberries (try warming them up for 20 seconds in the microwave first, it makes them more juicy) and start extanding the list.

My DS stopped eating completely for 4 weeks around 6 or 7 months and did not put on an ounce in weight for 6 weeks. I realise now that this coincided with teething, having a cold and a huge developmental spurt. He was breastfeeding like a demon though so i let him just to get the nutrients. Similar thing has just happened again at 9 months - it sounds like he was eating about as much as your little one - and guess what, 2 teeth appeared along with a cold and learning to stand up and say mama! Now he's on the solids with a vengence most days although will still sometimes refuse a meal.

Just wanting to reassure you that it's normal and your little one sounds healthy. I think they all start eating when they're ready!

Haven't read whole thread, but wanted to say that it's quite common for babies not to be particularly interested in solid food until a year or even beyond given the choice (although of course some of them are nicking your chips aged 4 months).

If you're still bfing on demand then chill - she's getting everything she needs right there

If you a BFing that much then you need to eat more, about 500 calories extra they think, if you are very tired you could be anaemic so take a B12 or iron supplement it's likely all your food nutrients are going straight to breastmilk and bypassing you!!!!! Don't even consider dieting. Have a nap when DC does as well.
My DD was a great eater till she was put on antibiotics at 1 year, took weeks and weeks before she would eat properly again. Offer the favoured food regularly and sit with them and eat something yourself and if she is teething cold thick yoghurt is good and they can chew the spoon too.

truly truly do not worry (unless you have cause other than the food intake).

I am strongly of the opinion that los know what they need and are actually very sensible about eating most of the time. If they are coming down with something/recovering from something, they naturally know that breastmilk is the best food for them as it's full of nutrition and antibodies, and they cleverly tend to cut down on solids and take more bm.

They also go through phases of exerting their will power and going on and off food.

Just offer her as much as she wants, give her a few different choices (eg main, fruit and yoghurt) and stop when she doesn't want any more.

She'll be fine. If she's ill or looking wan then it might be time to worry, but she sounds fine.

BTW they do lengthen out a bit around the age of one as they exercise so much more and start to grow up instead of out. My DS went from a chubby pup to a skinny rake between the age of 1 and 2.

L&D, this is perfectly normal and to be honest, sounds like a perfectly adequate intake for a 10 month old baby. Get her weighed and get your mind put at rest. Her appetite will slow down, and soon her weight gain and growth will slow down too. If she carried on gaining as she has done since birth, she would be adult sized by 4!

Really really don't worry about this. In comparison, what you dd ate sounds massive compares to what my eldest (now 3 used to eat). It took her ages to get into the idea of food but now she eats most things and in great volume. I learnt the hard way and the more stressed you are, she'll pick up on it. She'll be fine. Unless there is an underlying illness or problem, she'll eat enough to keep her fit and healthy.