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Please help me help my boy

6 replies

tallulahray89 · 17/06/2023 20:19

Hi, my son is 3 in October, Hes a gorgeous boy a proper quirky little fella and most of the time really happy, He is Neurodiverse & nonverbal. He loves nothing more than lining his trucks up, little baby bum, running (very fast in all directions 🤣) and spinning!

He’s always had lots of sensory issues around clothing and scratching but recently when he has a meltdown (or sometimes when he’s just sat happily, in his cot etc) he will scratch himself to bits, here’s a picture of what he will do. Obviously I try to make sure he is wearing clothing he is happy in so he isn’t able to scratch his body but he will scratch his face, shoulders, hands and also pull his own hair. He sleeps in a sleeping bag still for this reason as I’m terrified of what he would do. He’s been to the doctors numerous times and doesn’t have eczema/any skin conditions.

It’s really upsetting when he gets like this and the only thing we can do is hold him so he can’t hurt himself anymore. Have any other mums experience of this? Or have found anything to help or distract them from scratching? Realistically a sleeping bag isn’t always possible (in the heat this week) and he will lie in the cot quietly scratching also. I find it really upsetting & wish I could help him more but with him being non verbal and having other delays with his understanding etc it’s quite difficult 😥

(this picture is what he did within around 1 minute) x

OP posts:
1990shopefulftm · 17/06/2023 21:10

Has he tried fidget toys before? The pop it ones could be a safe option to keep his hands busy.

skkyelark · 17/06/2023 22:02

Oh, that sounds very hard for you and for him! You can get scratch sleeves for eczema, if you think he'd tolerate wearing them. I think you can also get 0.5 tog sleeping bags – one of those might be an option for hot nights?

I also wonder about giving him an alternative to scratching/pulling hair, something that hopefully gives him the same feeling without hurting himself. Something like cord fabric might be good, a teddy or pillow made of needlecord that he can scratch at? Possibly with some longer bits of yarn or tassles added that he can pull? Is there anything around the house that he also likes to scratch?

It might also be worth reposting in the Special Needs section – the posters there are usually very helpful.

tallulahray89 · 17/06/2023 22:10

skkyelark · 17/06/2023 22:02

Oh, that sounds very hard for you and for him! You can get scratch sleeves for eczema, if you think he'd tolerate wearing them. I think you can also get 0.5 tog sleeping bags – one of those might be an option for hot nights?

I also wonder about giving him an alternative to scratching/pulling hair, something that hopefully gives him the same feeling without hurting himself. Something like cord fabric might be good, a teddy or pillow made of needlecord that he can scratch at? Possibly with some longer bits of yarn or tassles added that he can pull? Is there anything around the house that he also likes to scratch?

It might also be worth reposting in the Special Needs section – the posters there are usually very helpful.

Thank you that is all really great advice, I'd not thought of trying cord fabric etc and trying to divert his scratching onto something else, but I will definitely try that. Also reposted this in SN. Thanks again x

OP posts:
tallulahray89 · 17/06/2023 22:12

@1990shopefulftm we have loads of forgot toys but he doesn't really play with toys as such and his attention is fleeting

OP posts:
skkyelark · 19/06/2023 21:25

Oh, I thought of something else. If he likes the feeling of being scratched (rather than of doing the scratching, if you see what I mean), perhaps something like a brush with sort of medium bristles? Then he could get the slightly prickly feeling of scratching without hurting himself. I guess it might have to be something you do with him, at least to start with, but maybe doing it regularly (and having it available if he wants it) might help meet his need for this feeling?

FinnsMammy · 27/06/2023 11:12

Hi OP could you try getting the bonds zip ups for night time they are light enough and have a zip if he can zip it down you can put on backwards. Next online sell them And they are footless so he can run around in them . I’m sure it’s just a phase he will grow out of but it’s distressing to see what he can do to himself 🙁. Hugs x

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