Autism?

[Emmabmumof3]

Let me give a quick and brief reason for me
Joining. So my daughter has just turned 4, days ago. She is amazing, super bright and actually has a photographic memory. It’s quite freaky sometimes how much she can remember from months and years ago and to exact detail. She is however super shy around anyone that isn’t me or her daddy. It’s interesting as at home she is the complete opposite of shy! She started to talk at maybe 9 months and by 1 year old, knew all of the colours, shapes, animals, and could count to 20. She HATES loud noises, and this hasn’t improved as she’s got older, If anything it’s worsened and she is terrified of hand dryers in public toilets particularly. To the point of not wanting to even enter the toilet and absolutely freaking out if a toilet is even near by. She had melt downs that I struggle to get her out of on a daily basis. She DOES NOT STOP talking, ever. It’s actually becoming a bit of an issue as she doesn’t ever know how to ‘chill’ and she never ever leaves mummy alone! Now at just 4 years old, she
Knows about planets, animals, the weather, can count indefinitely, can write many words and read a lot of words. She never seems to make friends as she feels like other children her age are ‘babies’. Can I have some advice and or experiences with children of yours that have been similar? When she’s in a melt down I find it really hard to communicate with her :( I have an older child who was never like
This! Help!

Based on what you write, I think there's definitely enough there to look into getting her assessed. You may already have done this, but if you haven't, I'd sit down with a couple of things specifically about signs of autism in girls and think back over from her babyhood to now (maybe go through photos to help jog memories) and make a list of all the little/not-so-little things that were just a bit different. Does she go to nursery? If so, what do they think? Then I'd see the HV or GP, armed with my list, and push for some assessment.

Is she starting school in September?

For social interaction, could you look for interest-based clubs that perhaps have a small range of ages? If it's, say, a science club, then she might have a better chance of finding enough common ground for a friendship. Or perhaps something like Rainbows, which I think is 4-7 year olds together?

For the noise, has she tried ear defenders? For the meltdowns, is there any pattern to what they are about (other than noise)? Or possibly what they come after? (e.g., busy morning, went swimming, then went to the shops, then came home for lunch and melted down because her drink wasn't cold enough – it might actually be she'd used up all her coping on the swimming and the shops, and the drink was just the straw that broke the camel's back)