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5 year old hitting at school

4 replies

chickpea1982 · 15/06/2023 14:58

DS2 has been hitting at school. It has been happening occasionally throughout reception, but seems to have got a lot worse recently. Sometimes it is "provoked" by someone upsetting him (not that that is any excuse) but sometimes the only trigger seems to be that he is angry about something - it could be entirely unrelated to the person he has hit. It seems to us (me, DH and his teachers) that he flies into a rage and just can't control his reactions. Usually the target is a classmate, but a week or so ago he hit a teacher (the school were NOT happy about that). There have been about 3 hitting incidents over the past week and a half.

Every time there's an incident we have talked to him about what happened, and how he can't hit other people. He also gets punished when he gets home by being sent to his room and losing screen time for the rest of the day (sometimes two days). We don't smack or use any other form of corporal punishment at home (though when I asked my mum for her advice she said "give him a smack"!). He is always contrite, and seems to understand what he has done wrong, but it just keeps happening and I don't know what else to do.

The school has asked for a meeting and want to discuss involving "STIPS" - Specialist Teachers for Inclusive Practice.

Does anyone have any advice on what else we could try to help him control his behaviour? Or has anyone gone through this before with their own child and can offer reassurance that it is just a phase and things will improve?

OP posts:
chickpea1982 · 19/06/2023 08:06

Hopeful bump!

OP posts:
Adamisthedad · 02/02/2024 17:38

So sorry to hear this! Annoyingly I don’t have any advice but wondered what’s happened since?

My son is 3.5 (he’s pretty much 4) and we have the exact same issue. It’s just random hurting that seems to have no reason for it.

chickpea1982 · 03/02/2024 10:40

He eventually grew out of it, thank god. He still has trouble regulating his temper, but has seemed to learn that he can't hit when he's angry. Both we and the school had spent months talking to him about how he can't hit, and trying to teach him alternative coping mechanisms (talk to a teacher/parent, go sit in the quiet corner etc.) but the big change came over the summer holidays when he just suddenly stopped hitting. No idea why it finally sank in then! By the time he started year 1 he was like a different boy. He still has problems regulating his anger sometimes, but it's so much better. There is hope!

OP posts:
Adamisthedad · 03/02/2024 11:24

Oh I’m so happy that he grew out of it!

we’ve got a meeting next week with the teachers and we are probably going to start the things you’ve been through too haha

thanks so much for replying. It means so much :)

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