Daughter 16m bit another child

[usermumnurse]

My dd 16m bit an older child (around 2/3 I guess) - the girl was just standing there with a watering can and my daughter wanted it - the little girl wasn't giving it up - rightly so she had it first and didn't want to share - my daughter got frustrated and bit her hand. I realised and said you must not bite the girl - she ran to her mum and the mum said yes she had bit her in an off tone and then said she was going to get the girls Nan. The Nan came out and was tutting at me. When my daughter had calmed down I got the water can and gave it to the little girl and told my daughter we are giving it back as the girl had it first and that biting is not kind - also asked her to say sorry and that you hope she is ok (obviously she didn't understand any of it)

What would you have done in that situation - the mother and grandmother made me feel so crap - 😩

16 month olds can be brutal. DC and friends around that age sometimes end up giving each other injuries - they're big enough to cause harm, young enough that they don't have impulse control or emotional regulation, and it's hard to reason with a frustrated toddler.

I think it's important for us to be establishing boundaries and modelling pro-social behaviour, and it sounds like that was what you were trying to do. Biting is something that gets very strong negative reactions and is very unacceptable, so now you know to watch out for it and can think about how you want to reinforce to her that she shouldn't bite.

"Going to get Nan"... How old was she? 12? If she's old enough to be a parent then she should be adult enough to discuss with you herself if needed, not running off to get her own mum to do it for her.