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Behaviour/development

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Adverse to school, 12 year old

2 replies

AmilyChestnut · 12/06/2023 09:32

Please help, I'm at my wits end. My daughter has always hated leaving me, and is very attached to me.

She enjoyed primary school, but hated secondary as soon as she started. She refused to go and the school out in place everything they could for her.

I didn't think the school was right for her and she was having a lot of days off. After about 5 months I decided to home school.

This was great as long as we were doing activities, but she didn't want to learn and I was finding it very hard to teach her.

I spoke to her and told her how I was feeling, and that I couldn't offer her the education she needed and can't affford a private tutor for every day.

We applied to a different secondary school and she has been going there for a couple of months. Same problems. Crying before school, begging not to go.

Her best friend moved to the school shortly after she did and I reminded her not to rely on said friend as only friend, and to branch out. Said friend isn't in today and my daughter has had a meltdown.

She asked me to take her to the office but I refused and told her I can't keep doing everything for her, she needs to go in by herself, make some new friends and try her best.

She's so worried about her appearance, make up, hair. Learning is an afterthought. She's so worried about what people think of her all the time, I don't know how to help her.

Please help Confused

OP posts:
AmilyChestnut · 12/06/2023 09:34

To add, this is the first time I haven't gone into the office and held her hand. I feel awful as she was begging me. But if I keep holding her hand with school she's never going to try. I feel damned if I do, damned if I don't

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 12/06/2023 22:25

Have you spoken to the school @AmilyChestnut?

She sounds very much like my DD who also has anxiety over school. This increased with the move to High School and puberty.

Do you think that there is a possibility that she may have ASD? I think that it's certainly worth reading up on how it presents in preteen girls Flowers

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