16mo not following simple instructions

[Kat4257]

Hi, I'm just wondering if this is normal.

My little girl won't follow simple instructions like “bring the ball”, “find your shoes”, “show me your nose”, “point to the cat” etc. I’m not sure if it’s because my daughter is bilingual but she doesn’t seem to do anything I ask her to and only says 4 words (mama, dada, up, water).

I've read about 16 gestures by 16mo and she waves but not as "goodbye", just randomly. Sometimes it'll be as she's walking away from me into another room, but sometimes just when we are walking down the street even if there are no passers by. She doesn't nod or shake her head for yes / no. She claps, points, reaches for items, taps items she wants, blows kisses, reaches for a kiss, hides / plays peekaboo, does an "idk" gesture when she loses a toy, feeds herself with a spoon, tries to wash her own hair when taking a bath. She can't do the "shh" gesture. So not really sure if she's hitting the 16 gestures milestone.

Will ahe clap if you say to clap.. Point to things you ask? Will she call you mama?

I think that children exposed to lord than one language do usually speak later? You might want to ask in the Multicultural Family section to see if anyone else has a similar experience

The language in those instructions seems a bit complicated for a 16 month old who's learning 2 languages - could she do simpler instructions like "give" or "take" or "come"?

We have a 15 month old who's learning 2 languages and I think they'd struggle with "find your..." and "show me your..." - that's combining instructions and ownership of things, as well as comprehension of the thing you want them to show or find. They can answer "Where...?" questions by pointing or bringing or saying something though, which is essentially the same objective.

@Scirocco i mean any instructions... if I say "where are shoes" or "point to the ball" she wouldn't do it :(

@Ezhildeepa yes if I say "clap" she will clap and if I say "dance" she will do a little dance move. If I say "where is" she will do the 🤷🏼‍♀️ move but not actually point to the object or find it

Ah, sorry, I misunderstood. Are you introducing both languages equally, or does she have a dominant language that she has more exposure to?

If you have a multi-lingual parenting community, they might have tips about local resources and potentially be able to, after getting to know you and your DD in person, give you an idea of where her development is in comparison with real-life children in multi-lingual families. I've found that a lot of health visitors, etc, have single-language development as the basis for their advice, and that doesn't always translate to multi-lingual development - eg there's less code-switching needed.

What's your DD's language development like in general? Does she seem to understand single words, and is her comprehension roughly equal in both languages or does she have one language where her understanding seems better? When you say she has 4 words, is that in both languages or just in one? If she has the same 4 words in both languages, I'd be tempted to consider that as being more like having 8 words than 4 in practice. Or, does she have different words in the different languages? For example, our DC has some things they understand in both languages but only say in one (like "milk" - they understand the English word but only say the word in their other language).

We play a lot of games focusing on simple words in DC's 'second' language (we live in a predominantly English speaking community, so we accept that English is the primary language to which they're exposed, regardless of what happens at home and with family). For example, 'Give or No Give' (approximate translation) - one person has an object and can then choose whether or not to give it to someone else, usually with either praise for sharing or laughter at "No Give!" It's simple, fun, and focuses on one aspect of an instruction so can then be applied in real life.

If you can, I think it could really help to spend time together within a multi-lingual parenting community, where you can get a feel for where her development needs are as a bilingual child, which will be different from a child only learning one language at a time. It can be stressful if your main sources of comparison are children who can focus on just one language, as it's common for multi-lingual development to take longer and be less predictable or uniform.

If she's sociable, engaged and curious about the world, I'd probably just give her a bit more time and exposure to her languages if you can. If you have a good health visitor, they might have some resources, and you could try your local library too - ours has a section for 'Community Languages' which has some books in DC's 'second' language.

@Scirocco wow thank you so much for the detailed reply! Her words are mainly in her other language - she now says mama, papa, water and give in my language and up and daddy in English. So I guess that's 6. Her dad is English, we do OPOL so I speak my language with her even if her dad (or anyone else) is around.

It's hard to know if they're on track when they're your first!!! But you're right - I'll give her more time, she's very advanced with walking, climbing etc so might just be "working" on a different skill at the moment first