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How to deal with dominant negative child - at my wits end

3 replies

pleasebekindnotpreachy · 30/05/2023 10:45

I have 2 kids. One is super positive, balanced, emotionally intelligent. The elder is highly strung, anxious, very wired, very emotional - when he's up he's very up but mostly he's very down.

Teen years are kicking in and the downs are bigger, more frequent, more dramatic and dominating the daily family mood. The rest of us can wake up on great form and find down to my son in a thunderous mood and it affects us all and often heads to arguments. My younger gets stuck with less attention, having to fit in and even be peacemaker. With hindsight that was precisely my role as a child too so it extra bothers me.

I'm increasingly losing my patience - I used ti have so very much more - and temper as my eldest is now old enough to be more considerate and self aware. I really am at my wits end.

Can anyone help with tips or even just empathy abs support. Please be kind. I am self criticising enough for this whole group already. I feel like a failure that I can't just fix, improve or simply diffuse things abs fear it's getting worse. It's really affecting me and that surely isn't helping too.

Thank you.

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pleasebekindnotpreachy · 30/05/2023 10:48

To add, I've tried therapists (said he's fine), books (techniques don't stick) and everything I can unearth on parenting sensitive kids / negative moods. I just can't turn the curve and it's brought me down with it too and I feel so very lost.

OP posts:
CherryBomb87 · 30/05/2023 12:20

Oh I feel your pain! Mine are only babies, the eldest is 2.5 but I feel like your post is my future.

Have you tried a counsellor for you? You can't change his behaviour but you may be able to learn to manage it/live with it and help you and you family be less affected by one negative soul.

❤️

Hadenough62 · 31/05/2023 21:45

I've literally just come on here to write an almost identical post!!

My DD is 8 and is so negative about herself. I dont understand it, I tell her everyday how much I love her, how kind she is, how nice she is, how pretty she is, I compliment her constantly, praise any little thing she does

Yet she's just so negative about herself about me her brother. Shes 8 now, hes 6 six. Shes constantly hurting him and being nasty to him

I'm at my wits end. Ice had enough. I've exploded tonight and told her that's it I'm sick of hearing her be so nasty to everyone when no one is nasty to her and no one says all these negative things she says about herself. Told her from now on I'm nit countering it anymore and if she wants to keep being so nasty about herself I'll be telling her to go away

She has a counsellor at school,

She was constantly threatening to kill herself last year until I snapped and told her she better not ever say it to me ever again 🤦‍♀️

I'm in my room crying now, I've had enough. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of her dominating my household and being so horrid to us and herself, the constant tears and melt downs.

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