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High needs baby, now high needs toddler. When does it get better?!

3 replies

ammmmmo · 30/05/2023 08:04

I’ve posted on here several times in the past year of my babies life. He was a high needs sensitive baby, never content, always crying/screaming, would never want to be put down, a terrible sleeper, you name it - he did it (or didn’t do it, as far as sleep was concerned).

People in a similar situation said it would get better when he could move etc, so when he started bum shuffling (he never crawled) we thought, ah this is it! He was happier for about 2 days at his new found freedom, then became very frustrated again.

He can’t walk by himself yet, but can if we help him. He wants to do this ALL day, every day. He will not sit still. He screams in our faces (blood curdling, tears streaming screaming) until he gets his own way and we walk round the house with him. He will not sit and do anything independently. We can’t even go to the toilet without him screaming at us because he has to be sat on the floor. He won’t sit down, he screams if we walk somewhere he doesn’t want to go, he hits and slaps us and scratches us, he can’t be in a room by himself, he wants to be held, he wants to walk. The past few days he has started screaming in the mornings and will not go in his high chair to eat breakfast, and wants to eat it from his dads lap. He used to be fine in the highchair but now he SCREAMS and throws himself around and slaps and kicks.

I can’t deal with this. I thought it would be better by now. He still doesn’t sleep well and I’m SO fed up people asking “does he sleep better yet?” No, it’s shit, everything is shit.

All I keep thinking is how much of a happier baby period we would have had if he was more like “other babies”. I feel like this first year of his life has been spoilt by his screaming, and it doesn’t look to be getting any better anytime soon.

Times like this make me hate being a mum, and I hate saying that. Any help or experience is greatly appreciated :(

OP posts:
CherryBomb87 · 30/05/2023 12:54

Oh, see my post about my toddler "bright or diva" - he was just like this!

He is better, but still, er different. When he's good he's amazing but man, he can be a challenge.

We have a baby girl now as well and it was only then I realised how extreme our son is, but it is getting easier.

I feel for you, it's a horrible feeling. Every time he develops it gets a little easier - there was a massive step change when he walked, then again when he finally talked (which was late).

Tv makes him worse.

Sensory play, freedom (in a safe space) outdoors and 100% of our attention (I can't be on my phone for 5 minutes) all helps

Xx

Jadey89 · 18/08/2023 09:53

No solution but my sympathies. My 13 month is the same, high needs from birth, I got severe PPD, still very anxious and on meds to get through. Trying to keep faith that things will get better eventually but it's so hard especially when sleep is awful.
We sleep trained which helped at first but now nothing seems to make a difference and there's always multiple night wakings and scream crying. It's bloody exhausting

OrangeJuice9 · 28/08/2023 21:48

How are things now OP? How old is DS?

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