School friendship troubles

[devon2018]

Hello everyone, just put a crying child to bed. She is having problems with another girl at school. They 8 years old. The other girl has called her "not good enough" & refused to be paired with her on a trip. According to mine, this girl has been rude to her other occasions too like playtime. My 8 year old has taken this to heart. I have no idea how to deal with this!

For context she is my second one, and I am a strict parent. I believe in politeness and discipline. In my house we don't use rude words or ignore people. Everyone is given a chance to explain or speak up. But navigating this 8 year olds seems so tricky. I don't want to teach her anything rude towards her friends as well. At the same time I cannot bear to see this crying child every night.

Please advice!

Unfortunately there are Children out there who will be mean to our DC.

I think when my DD was this age I said things like "she's obviously having a bad day but you don't have to play with someone who is being mean, you can go and find someone else to play with who is being nicer". DD eventually took it on board and would leave her mean friend and go and find someone else.

Plus, she'll have a much nicer time on the trip if she's not with somebody who makes her feel like this.

They're all teens now and the mean girl is definitely been moved to the edge of the group and they are all much less likely to put up with her being mean.

If you want something to read, for you or your DD, then A Mighty Girl has some great suggestions OP.

Thank you so much! Your message really helped me to settle my thought process. I have given her the similar suggestion. Just did not know any resources I can use to give her better explanations.

I do hope she can learn resilience and stand up for her self. I worry such behaviours can turn into deeper worries in later life.

Such early age that it had made me very nervous.

That's no problem at all. It's tough when they're going through it but you just need to keep reiterating that this is the girls problem, it's not your DD who is at fault and help her to find nicer friends!