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Behaviour/development

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Angry 4.5 year old DS

6 replies

Soltanalot · 26/05/2023 13:15

I feel like my DS who is 4.5 is angry a lot of the time. Not all the time but pretty much throughout the day.

examples of his anger - if the wheel on his scooter gets caught, he kicks the scooter or tosses it to the ground.

he sometimes asks me about car makes. I pointed a new Peugeot out to him but because the new logo looks slightly different to the old one he insisted I was wrong and asked me again what make it was. I told him again and he screamed at me and told me I was wrong. I said, ok, what do you think it is and he just screamed at me and said I don't know you tell me. I just left it and changed the subject but he said he was very angry at me because I was wrong!

I had made some frittata today and was going to share out the pieces with him and DD. He wanted the whole box but I explained it was for all of us so he could have two pieces now and could have some more after. As I went to give him a piece he knocked it out of my hand and insisted he have the box. I told him knocking it out of my hand was rude and it meant he wasn't hungry so he could have some later. I also told him if he didn't want any he just had to say no thank you and not knock it out of my hand. At this stage I'd reached the end of my tether so I got a bit annoyed and he could sense it so he asked if I was happy with him and I said I loved him but when he knocked stuff out of my hand it made me sad.

whenever I suggest something to do, somewhere to go, I'll generally always be met with a "no". He'll say no even if he wants to do something. He always seems to be growling at me in a frustrated way.

I try and be as even keeled as possible when setting the boundaries and also make sure there are natural consequences but the constant battles are draining me and getting me down. He's been this headstrong since birth and I feel like he never really listens to me or follows direction. He does have sweet and loving moments but at the moment these only tend to happen at the end of the evening.

I just feel so lost. I can never get him to try any games with me (even when he was younger) and I never have any luck in trying to teach things like phonics, easy board games etc. I try and incorporate learning into things like games with his cars but he just gets annoyed with me and doesn't want to try.

what can I do to make him less angry and want to engage with me?

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 26/05/2023 16:22

That sounds really tough @Soltanalot Flowers

I'm just wondering how his sleep and eating is as those two things have a dramatic affect on my (older) DDs emotions.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 26/05/2023 16:22

Forgot to ask. Does he go to Nursery/Preschool or School yet?

Soltanalot · 26/05/2023 16:37

Thank you @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto he gets about 10-11hrs sleep a night but his eating is up and down. Sometimes he eats loads and sometimes he barely eats anything. We always have snacks to hand and don't really deny him anything he wants to eat (unless he wants to gorge on unhealthy things). He's been in childcare since he was 1 so first child minder and then preschool since September last year

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 26/05/2023 16:40

Ok so it doesn't sound like lack of sleep causing the anger.

How's his behaviour at Preschool? Have they ever realise and concerns?

Soltanalot · 26/05/2023 19:22

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto never. They say he's quite happy and social there. Reflecting on his behaviour, it's almost like he finds me annoying? Maybe I am 😂😭

today hasn't been the best day and I've snapped a lot. Tomorrow is a new day.

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 27/05/2023 07:43

today hasn't been the best day and I've snapped a lot. Tomorrow is a new day.

Hope today goes a lot better for you. Have you got anything planned?

Just wanted to recommend the book Little Angels. It's evidence based, unlike some other parenting books and is very sensible and easy to read. It's also out of print but you can get it from abebooks Flowers

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