Unhappy 10 year old

[redwino]

My DS came home from school today in floods of tears as one of his best friends had been really horrible to him all day. Called him a w*er and said he hated him. This is fairly out of characcter from this boy as he has always seemed like a decent lad. I think what is behind it is that this boy is soon moving house and school and is feeling unsettled. But why should my boy have to suffer? Hes upset enough about his friend leaving without having this to put up with.
How would anyone deal with this? i don't want to involve the teachers at this stage but I don't really know the paents well.

My daughter was being bullied by her 'friends', I asked the teacher to keep and eye on things, then to speak to those invoved and after 2 weeks went to the Head who spoke to them and it stopped. But if he's moving schools soon would it be worth it? Maybe just explain to your son that it's probably because his friend is upset and worried.Hope your son feels better, I had an awful few weeks knowing that my dd was unhappy.

I think you need to tell your boy to rise above his mates behaviour..........you lash out at those you care about most. Maybe his mate is so upset he has lashed out ot your son in an effort to make moving away easier iykwim

Tell you lad to put it to one side and try and forget it happened, particularly if it is out of character.....sorry he is so upset

Oh dear, your poor boy. No wonder he's upset.

I agree with stoppinattwo, I'm sure this boy is gonna really miss your son and is probably just trying to make a clean break and take things out on him. It's a shame cos they should be having fun in their last few weeks at the same school. Is he moving far away or can they keep in touch?

I think I would have a word with the teacher just to keep a look out but maybe not to intervene as yet. Kid's can be so nasty to their friends. It's horrid at the time but hopefully if you explain that he doesn't mean it and the boy is actually just hurting then I'm sure your son will be ok eventually. Sorry he's so upset though.

If you are talking about his mate being angry and unfair on one day, that is hardly bullying or reason to involve anyone outside your family (unless he beat him up, obviously). Most children people have days when they are cross and behave out of character, if they are upset by something. This is something your ds needs to learn to cope with and the coping skills you teach him now are going to make all the difference 20 years down the line when he is staggering round at 2 o'clock in the morning, trying to deal with a screaming baby and a wife at the end of her tether. Talk to your ds and ask how he thinks his friend might be feeling. Explain that it is not personal but a result of his friend's emotions, that his friend is wrong, but that he may be able to help them both get over it. This is where the wise parent and the listening ear are really going to make a big difference to how he copes- both now and later.
I have spent a lot of the last few years on such little talks as both dd and her best friend have gone through some incredibly rough patches. I think the most important thing is to let them know they can always come to you and blow off steam.

Is there any chance of you saying something to one of the parents? Maybe the other boy is being unsettled at home as well? The fact that it seems so out of character would mean that you don't have it in for the friend, but are concerned.