Is this normal behaviour?!

[Freddie15VES]

Hey all - our 2 year olds behaviour at the moment is so testing anyway but I’ve been crying for the most part of the evening about this as I shouted at our little boy tonight really badly.

So we have a ‘take it in turns’ routine for his bed times so I’ll do an evening and dad will do an evening, it’s never been an issue when his dads not here as he works night shifts sometimes. He’s just accepted that I’ll be doing bedtime but tonight he would not settle, kept demanding daddy to come in, he was screaming and crying that much he was nearly sick, he wouldn’t even lay down for me and when he did I tried to stroke his head, his hand (all the things that usually soothe him) but he just would not settle. I had to go in and wake his dad up to come and put him in bed and guess what - he was asleep within minutes. I can’t help but feel like such a failure. Is he just so used to that routine and now he’s older he’s just really unsettled when routine is broken?

I think it's pretty normal for a child or baby who has been used to being settled by either parent to suddenly show a preference for one or the other, especially if they send more time during their day with one of those parents.

What does shine out from your post though is that you're struggling and seem quite unhappy.

Toddlers can be testing, very testing sometimes but "shouting really badly" at your DS because he wants his Dad and then spending the night crying isn't usual.

Does your DH know that you're struggling? Do you think there's a chance that you may have PNI?

You’ve just described our nearly 3yo for most of the last year. Dh does most of the childcare. Angelic (ish!) when I’m not there. If I’m around demands I do everything. All bedtimes, potty, getting dressed. You are not failing. It’s a (potentially lengthy phase). I do chat with ds3 about how it’s nice to be kind and he’s started to respond better.