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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

14m old freaking out at the bath - help!

26 replies

CrushWithEyeliner · 18/02/2008 20:00

DD has a massive aversion to the bath now. She has excema which has recently been infected (better now) but dermatologist is adamant we must bath and anoint every night.
I think I may have got the water one degree too hot (not awfully or anything) the other night and she is really sensitive about this..now she is getting hysterical and won't be put into it at all.

Shit what am I going to do? Does anyone have any tips for me...

OP posts:

Othersideofthechannel · 18/02/2008 20:04

Have you tried getting in with her?

BTW both mine developed a short term aversion to getting in the bath around this age. Nothing to do with skin probs. May be just a phase?

twospecialgirls · 18/02/2008 20:05

i ahd the same my d was terrified at that age and im sad to say i used to froce her in and once she was in a few times seemed ok and gradually became fine will take time i think its hard when they become scared of something xx sorry cant be more help x
could you maybe go in with her !!!

mouseling · 18/02/2008 20:54

We had similar scenario with DS1 becoming very distressed at every bathtime. I got him a special mat to sit on and that was enough to break the cycle of distress. You could try something new as a distraction. Good luck.

rookiemater · 18/02/2008 20:56

Had the same thing with DS at this age. Does she absolutely have to have a bath every night or would a wet flannel do sometimes ?

The reason I ask is because people on mumsnet recommended not bathing every night and that really seemed to help DS get over his phobia as if you do it every night and they don't like it then you start dreading it and it all turns into a vicious circle.

TooTicky · 18/02/2008 20:58

I second getting in with her.
Aren't you supposed to keep eczema dry though?

tori32 · 18/02/2008 21:04

I would say the OP has to bath every night because of the eczema.

Just try getting special toys which she only has at bath time or after a bath. So you can say 'if you are a good girl in the bath you can play with x' IYSWIM. My dd created at one point but I still kept bathing her and totally ignored the behaviour. If she gets hysterical and you lift her out, then she will know that if she wants to get out just to become hysterical. Ignore, ignore, ignore and do everything you need to do.

nancy75 · 18/02/2008 21:11

had the same thing with dd, we got her a chair thing to sit in that had toys on the front, i think she felt abit safer in the chair and the toys took her mind off it

Miggsie · 18/02/2008 21:24

We filled up the bath and floated toys on it a few times a week.
She had an all over wash not in the bath on these occasions, started sitting a wet flannel on her head... and then one day asked to go in herself. Never looked back.
Not convinced a child with eczema should bath every day, it makes my eczema worse... I use pure organic shea butter from Akamuti which is better than anything I ever got on prescription...

entropy · 18/02/2008 21:25

had this with dd as well at about the same age. it was just a phase. it lasted a couple of weeks. a month max... I didn't force her to sit in the bath but used a sponge to wash her and got her some new toys,

she is now terrified of iggle piggle and upsy daisy kissing!!! (really hysterical if she sees it) but loves the rest of the bloomin program so I have to sky+ it and fast forward they if they look affectionate

I can't wait for the next mad phobia...

Orinoco · 18/02/2008 21:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 18/02/2008 21:36

lol entropy DD is the princess of mad phobias even at 14m! but that is another story..
Thanks so much guys - i will try getting in and just keeping things calm and easy.
The peadeatric dermatologist has insisted we have to clean and then rub cream ritual so this is non-negociable really.

We have bought toys but it doesn't seem to be working...really really frustrating will let you know how we get on xx

OP posts:

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 19/02/2008 19:57

oh bugger - another screamy bath

she used to LOVE them and she is a baby that doesn't love many things lol wtf has happened?

OP posts:

sorryihaventaclue · 24/02/2008 15:21

Crushwitheyeliner, we are having same problem with 15 mth old ds who until he had stomach bug and threw up in the night so badly we had to shower him down, LOVED his bath time.

We've tried new bath toys, and all the other things mentioned here, maybe it really is just a phase and it might be more to do with asserting herself than anything else? Keep posting would love to know if you get it sorted and if it makes you feel better ds is definitely not loving much at the moment his favourite word is NO.

Good luck....

halogen · 04/03/2008 21:52

Re eczema, I've had much better results from bathing infrequently (like, once a week) and slathering with cream at every opportunity, night and morning and whenever my daughter asks. You could try it and see if it's any good for you, too? My daughter also hated the bath until v recently (nearly 18 months) but she loved being in it with me.

LiegeAndLief · 05/03/2008 13:02

We have had the same problem with ds on and off since 14 months ish (he's now 18 months and has just got over his latest hating the bath phase). We are just very matter of fact about it, put him in cheerfully (hard when he is screaming and clinging to your arm...) and then distract distract distract. Bring in a favourite toy, even if it's not very bath friendly, get the shower going (ds loves trying to "catch" the water), play peekaboo with the shower curtain - quite often he starts to enjoy it after a couple of minutes. Sometimes dh gets in with him which he also enjoys. If nothing's working and he's still upset, we just give him a wash and take him out again. But I never lift him out as soon as he starts crying as that just seems to make things worse.

Good luck!

whenwillisleepagain · 13/03/2008 14:57

We are having same issue with DS, 15 months. He has always loved his bath and this came out of nowhere last week, really distressed and trembly with upset. We have been racking our brains for a cause, but can't come up with anything and not certain whether there was a cause as such. I tried getting in with him the other day - didn't help and neither did massive efforts at distracting him. So now will give bath a rest and try playing with toys in washing up bowl while we have a quick wash. I'll watch this thread with interest. Reading it has reassured me that at least DS is not the only child with these worries.

MiaMamma · 13/03/2008 15:18

I came to Mumsnet to post about the same problem and now i see my DD is not the only child who hates the bath!
Screaming at bath-time has been going on nearly four months now, she's 22 months atm. Started suddenly without any obvious reason (we just can think of any, she used to love bath!). I have tried going in with her but she gets hysterical about me getting wet (gets upset even when she sees me washing my hands). So that didn't work. Tried the shower - no better luck, very scared of it. I'm always really relaxed and calm and happy and cheerful, trying to show her that bath is a happy lovely place but she seems not to believe me .
Atm just washing her quickly and ignoring her crying is the only thing I can think of (and being calm and smily mummy at the same time, not easy).
Will be watching this thread!

whenwillisleepagain · 26/03/2008 11:06

Has anyone got any good news on this? We aren't doing particularly well. DS has been happy to have a wash next to the bath and throw toys in etc. But still very miserable about going in. I had a bath myself every day over Bank Hol and did the 'oh look how lovely this is' performance and he's been in once with me, protesting. Last night I felt I had to get him into the water again as he's got nappy rash for only the second time in his life, and it was all a bit grim. On a positive though, his eczema has been pretty good, which may or may not be down to avoiding the bath (I just recall that was an issue in OP). It's difficult sometimes to work out cause and effect though with eczema IMO.

AuntEm · 26/03/2008 11:18

Went through this when dd was about 2 I think. In the end (to avoid anxious phone calls to social services from neighbours ) we resorted to the baby bath & toys & called it 'having a paddle' rather than a bath. She could then usually be persuaded to sit down and have a proper wash. Was OK again after a few weeks. Don't think it was the water that bothered her, but the actual bath - water going down the plughole maybe??

MiaMamma · 26/03/2008 14:22

Oh, I just got rid of DDs old baby bath! But to say- it WAS really small, so don't think she would have been happy being there either. So she's still screaming when being washed in the big bath, tried shower again one day - no better luck.
DD really used to love swimming, so trying to go swimming soon to see how she'll do there (in the local pool they have sort of paddling pool there). Maybe if she starts loving water again, the bath won't be so scary anymore.

iloveelvis · 26/03/2008 15:36

My DS (23 months) also went through a hating the bath stage. I got a bath mat and that seemed to help a lot(duh - why didn't I think of that at the very start!). He also had his cousin to stay (he's only 10 months) and we put them in the bath together and he is so much more confident than DS and I think this rubbed off (pardon the pun) on DS as he's been a lot better since. I've also not been that good at taking him swimming regularly. Now my Dad is taking him every week and I have seen his confidence growing from that. He's still not jumping all round the bath and tends to stay in the same seated position throughout but its better than screaming his head off. Now hair-washing - well that's a completely different story - I've lost hope of every cracking that one! Nevermind!

PortAndLemon · 26/03/2008 15:41

DS got over this phase by being bought bath crayons in the end.

PotPourri · 26/03/2008 15:41

Weird, I forgot this til I read your thread, but both my DDs took an aversion to the bath at around that age. Fine b4 the bath, but the instant their toe touched the water, until they were out again they howled! It lasted a few weeks, maybe up to 6 weeks, can't quite remember. But then it passed. I just bathed them a bit less - 2-3 times a week. And when it started getting a bit better, I got some really cool bath toys for them - which helped distract them.

Both ADORE the bath now, it when I take them out that they scream blue murder. Aged 21 months and 3.3

Stick with it. She needs to get washed (but maybe not as regularly as you were doing)

PotPourri · 26/03/2008 15:46

I was meaning you could wash her with a flannel and bowl rather than in the bath. Realise that you do need to wash her every night before her cream.

Have you tried the sink? Maybe let her play with water in there during the day with bath toys, then see if you can coax her to go in once she has been enjoying playing like that for a few days....

kitbit · 26/03/2008 15:49

ds was the same - we used to wash him in the sink or bidet instead, or do a standup strip wash. Can you still wash and do her cream that way? He got over it eventually by seeing me or dh in the bath while he was having his wash, and we'd blow bubbles and have lots of fun. Eventually he wanted to be in the bath having fun, and overnight it all changed again.

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