18month dd biting me & her new baby brother

[Lilismum]

Hoping someone can give me some advice. I just had my ds two weeks ago and my 18month dd is generally very good with him, kissing, cuddling and wanting to help change him etc, however the past few days when I have been breast feeding him she has become angry with me (normally as I can't do exactly what she wants at that time, like read her a book) and bitten, slapped and nipped me. Today she also took a lunge at her brother and pulled his leg and almost bit him. I feel that some sort of bad behaviour was to be expected but I am really worried about what will happen if I am unable to nip this in the bud quickly. I'm afraid today I shouted at her and kind of pushed her away, my patience isn't at its best at the moment.

She really a lovely little girl, very bright and active and I know she is doing it for attention.
I have read previous advice here that I should tell her no and pick her up and put her out the room but as it only seems to happen when I'm bf there will be a bit of a delay in me being able to do this (before I get ds off and dd picked up). Should I still try this approach? I have tried to ignore her and saying 'no don't bite/hit it hurts mam' but she just laughs at me.

Also she has been really slow teething but is currently getting at least 4 big teeth through and is more whingy than normal, would this make a more inclined to bite?

Any help would be much appreciated! Thanks

Hi Lilismum, I only have the one, so don't have experience of managing the new arrival, but dd did go through a stage of biting, and I think it did coincide with some teeth coming through (only bit me once, but for a time was the class biter at nursery - I didn't like it, but it was a phase which passed fairly quickly - and she was at the other end of biting on a couple of occasions too, so I think it is something that some children do go through). The timing of this does suggest the new arrival is a factor though, so it could be tricky not seeming to favour the baby too much - I'd be inclined to suggest a firm but non-confrontational "no" and to put her away for a minute or two (but as I said, not been in this situation myself!)

by the way does she have something to chew on to relieve the pressure on her gums?

Lilsmum - my ds2 (2) went through a phase a couple of months ago of doing this and it was also just after ds3 had been born. I don't know if it was related to that though as he was biting ds1 (3.5), not me or the baby (thank goodness) and I was taking great care to spend time reading and doing jigsaws with him so he wasn't lacking attention.

Anyway, to be honest, I really shouted at him with a very firm 'NO' and put him out of the room and he only did it for around a week to two weeks and that was it. I gave him a smack on his bottom after a few days of doing it too because I'd said 'no' so many times and he was leaving some nasty marks on ds1. Anyway, I guess it's not pc to suggest smacking but just so you know, I did it and he stopped within days.

Thanks for your messages, I will try putting her in another room and being much firmer with her, I know that the past times she has done it I've really been more upset than firm (well more hysterical last time, lack of sleep!). I guess consistency is the best idea.

I'm also conscious of how the time I have with her has changed, ds seems to be taking such a large proportion of my time which is probably why she is playing up. This has probably meant I have been kind of letting her off with the bad behaviour but after today I know I have to sort it out. I'll also make more of an effort to have time with just her and get her something to chew on to try and sooth her gums.

Thanks again, its a comfort to know that it will hopefully stop if I approach it properly.

Good luck. I think dd was around this age when we put her on the naughty step at the bottom of the stairs. (She'd been hitting the tv screen really hard with something and had had several warnings). Its the only time we've ever done it, and dh and I were astonished that she actually stayed there. We only left her for a couple of minutes, but she has not hit the tv since....

Thanks crumpet. The naughty step it is!