I hate being a mum, there I said it.

[Dreamitaway]

I have three kids, aged 11, 7 and 6. Me and my partner work full time.

Lately, I've been dreading going home. I'm tired and fed up. I know the moment I walk through the door, the kids will be arguing and crying over something stupid, dinner will be needing to be cooked or it's already done but they're all crying about whatever it is.

I'm on annual leave this week and I'm hating it already. The kids argue over everything, I've had to get them bathed and ready for school tomorrow. My downstairs is a tip, I have tons of dirty laundry and I just don't have the energy. It's my birthday today and honestly it's been the worst one ever because all the kids have done is argue.

I'm on the verge of tears and just saying I'm done and walking out. There is nothing enjoyable about parenthood right now. I hate it. I'm snapping at everyone, and I know it's not fair. But I'm tired, I'm fed up and I don't want to wake up tomorrow and do the same mundane shit as I've done today

Oh god I feel quite similar myself sometimes all my kids do is fight I have to separate them daily. Im sorry you're feeling this way. How long have you felt so bad? Is there any family members or anyone who could help out somehow and take some of the strain away?

It's just exhausting. They're arguing from the minute they're home. I'm just so over it. I don't know really, it comes and goes but months I've been feeling fed up.

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to help me with the kids. I think that's part of the issue. I feel awful today, I put a brave face on and took the kids to their swimming lessons, then back home and showered my girls, my son was nagging and crying about wanting birthday cake and I just snapped and screamed at him to leave me alone for two god damn minute. I've apologised but I feel crap. It's just so hard all the time. I don't even know how to stop myself from snapping. I never normally like this, I never snap at my kids like this. I just feel rubbish 😭😭

Oh god I feel your pain and worst of it is if we are feeling bad it makes us short tempered ect which doesn't help anything it's just a vicious cycle. I end up crying feeling bad if I snap at them but it seems impossible when they just don't listen.

If you can't get any alone time or help it's no wonder you feel the way you do. Only human after all. I'd even suggest if you can maybe take time off work due to stress.

I feel your pain. My kids are arguing a lot at the moment and I can’t stand it. I don’t know what the solution is. Hopefully someone wiser than me will come along with some ideas!

But I was also struck in your post by how much your doing. Do you reckon you and DP are fairly splitting the responsibilities in the house? And can you carve out some time off for each other?

I feel like I'm quite lucky with my DH, if he's not working, he will always try and do more than I expect. He's happy to give me a break, but it's tough because of our work schedules.

I have high expectations, I think it's because all my life I have been judged, so I'm trying to keep up to everyone else's standards and I just can't do it, and then I feel like I'm failing.

For example, I rarely take the kids out. One, I don't have much money and two, it's incredibly hard to do it with all 3 kids. Then I see other parents taking their kids here, there and everywhere, and I feel so guilty.

Everyone I know has spotless houses, granted they don't have young kids, but it makes me embarrassed of my house because it's always messy and yet, all I ever do is clean. I'm so tired, I just can't.

I had a week of work for annual leave, it was lovely, got the house to a decent standards, managed to do things that have been put off for so long and yet, not even a week back in work and my house looks like a bomb site.

I honestly don't know how people do it and I'm lucky to have DH help and I still can't do it.

I feel like I'm failing in all aspects of my life, this wasn't how I wanted life to be, I'm so drained all the time. I don't even feel like life is worth living tbh, but I know I have to stick around, at least till the kids are older.

Solidarity here, it's like Groundhog Day of mess, meals, things to do, washing, appointments, life admin. I'm the same as you, I'm soooo tired. Even when you get a break it never seems enough. I totally get it and understand how you feel. I think a lot of parents do. I have no advice at all apart from try and fit in one thing, just one that you want to do. A bath, a walk, an early night with a book or Netflix. I hear you and I'm sorry it's so hard right now. You are not failing though that's for sure xx

It's exactly the same for me. My eldest has autism and I can't take both of them out on my own, even walking up the shop is sometimes such a nightmare it sets my anxiety off so much I just rather avoid it unless I have help and then I end up feeling no good because I need help. Never mind housework most of the time I'm literally zoned out then I end up feeling awful that we've done nothing. As the to do list gets bigger it just gets more overwhelming. I always feel I'm the worst of the worst and majority of other people seem to keep on top of things . I think having a good support system helps.