Health anxiety / overanalysing everything

[DidYeAye22]

Hi everyone,

My anxiety is sky high right now and I can’t seem to stop Googling and doom scrolling…

My 7 month old baby was born premature with a heart condition after a relatively stress free pregnancy. It came completely out of the blue and she had to be born via emergency section within a few hours of getting to hospital.

Thankfully she’s fine and is on medication which seems to be doing the trick. My problem now is that I find myself overanalysing every little thing she does for signs of health issues / developmental delays.

I have suffered with anxiety in the past so it’s not completely surprising, and I do manage to enjoy her most of the time, but every now and then I get into a bit of a panic and start googling her “symptoms”. As an example, she learned to clap today and now I’m panicking that it’s not actually clapping but instead “flapping” and a sign of a delay. I know, I know!!

I appreciate how ridiculous this sounds and I actively try to challenge my thinking. I’m considering counselling - has anyone suffered with the same / have any advice?

It’s not all the time but I do find myself panicking and stressing when I think she has a new “symptom”. It’s so hard because what is anxiety and what is maternal instinct?

Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you

I'm not surprised that you are anxious. The birth and your DD's medical condition sound traumatic and you're probably still processing it all.

Birth Trauma UK should be able to put you in touch with a Counsellor.

I'd also have a look in the premature birth section here on MN and see if any MNers who have experienced similar can help you

Ah that's hard.. a difficult start and being anxious, no wonder you are over analysing.
I think the above suggestion is a good one.. some CBT or similar will help you come to terms with the difficult start and help you relax with your baby.

But don't beat yourself up.. motherhood IS full of anxiety for a lot of us. I'm an old(er) lady, mother of four, grandmother to one, and still find myself googling anxiously (my GS was very poorly at birth and has been left with some health issues) because I love him like I love my own children and every little cough worries me...

(even more nuts because his Mum my DD2 is a nurse and my other daughter is a GP... he's well cared for!!)

Get some support for yourself to process what happened and how it has affected you.. it's ok and good to get support. My youngest was born with disabilities and I totally totally understand how you are feeling.. I literally googled everything (in the infancy of the internet). Every flap... autism.. every little odd thing he did or didn't do... OMG he'll never be ok.

He actually did grow into a child with special needs (and autism!) and is the kindest, loveliest man I could ever know, but it was the anxiety in the early days I needed help for, not his actual problems!