Just had hour battle with 23 month old for bed.....sleep in day or keep her awake for early/easy bedtime?

Roca · 2008-02-16T21:11:33+00:00

To be short.....do I have a cranky, tantrum throwing 23 month old all day who goes to bed at 7.30pm or a happy one who has a sleep in the day but then won't sleep til about 9pm? She has climbed out of cot since 18 mos so is in a bed (that's where is all got hard) - shares room with her 3yr old brother - can't do stairgate on door as they would both climb over etc etc. Is hard to have strict routine as we are here there and everywhere each day - sometimes she falls asleep in car etc Was suprised she started going without a sleep as she is so young - she can do it but really needs a bit of a nap. She isn't too earlier a riser - about 7.30ish. Half an hour ago I was close to tears and just thought this is all such a nightmare and now they asleep I am loving being a mum again!

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hoxtonchick · 16/02/2008 21:14

drop the nap. sorry....

gigglewitch · 16/02/2008 21:17

I have a very similar DD.
Have inflicted a routine on her which basically amounts to an afternoon sleep of 40 mins straight after lunch on alternate days. TBH I'm not quite as scientific over it as it may sound, because of the family activities and whatever she ends up with zzz's both fri and sat but never on a sunday, which is a nice re-set for the weekly pattern again
I know what you mean about the here and there thing, I have to older DC and those car journeys are instant snooze opportunities.

Original poster

Roca · 16/02/2008 21:19

I agree with you hoxtonchick (you are obviously a bit cool with that name!) that is the way I have been going for weeks now but lately realised I have a happier child with sleep in day. HOWEVER, DH usually does bedtimes as as he's down the pub tonight it was left to me and I think no sleep in day is how it has to be.

DS age 3 is just great you just say bed and off he goes and stays even if not tired - I can but hope that the same will happen to her one day!

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mehdismummy · 16/02/2008 21:25

my ds is two. If he sleeps later than two pm he wont go to bed until nine too. I dropped the daytime nap and he goes to bed by six to six thirty. Sleeps till eight.(not straight through,wakes up for milk!) do you want more time to yourself in evening or a cranky toddler! Have you tried a morning nap?

juuule · 16/02/2008 21:32

9pm isn't that bad.
I'd go for the happy child who has a nap in the day and then goes to bed/sleep at 9pm until 7:30ish am. What's the problem?

warthog · 16/02/2008 21:33

my dd dropped daytime naps at 18 months. otherwise wouldn't sleep until late. it works for us, but she doesn't really get grumpy... depends on how moody they get i think!

hoxtonchick · 16/02/2008 21:33

ha, am so not cool . but do have a 2.7 dd who doesn't need much sleep..... and a model older boy too. my biggest bugbear is when nursery let her nap .

llynnnn · 16/02/2008 21:40

we are having a similar problem with dd, she is 18mths and dh is STILL tryin to get her down now! she is ok if she is awake from her nap by 1.30 latest! anything after that she will not go to sleep. If she had her way she would sleep 3-4 then go to bed at 10pm!! not the best solution! really don't know what to do!!! She also will not fall asleep on her own the only way is to rock/cuddle her!
think i might go search old threads for the best way to get out of this.....

Original poster

Roca · 16/02/2008 21:47

lynnnnnnnnnnnnn (ok so maybe too many nnn's) - that is exacly the same as me! from 3-4 is her ideal time to sleep and then staying up til 10 - which I ain't happy about.

TBH I work from home 3 evenings so DH has a lot of the bedtime stuff but I/we really need my evening time.

DH just got home and says is there a thread on here called I'm really sad surfing the net on a Saturday night?!!!

Cheers (raises that glass of red wine that has been sitting on the side waiting for kids to sleep!)

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Original poster

Roca · 16/02/2008 21:50

P.S. did now one struggle with this (i.e.kids) in the old days - I am one of five but my mum doesn't seem to recall to many problems - has she just forgotten?!!!!!!

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TrinityRhino · 16/02/2008 21:50

everyone alwasy says drop the nap but dd2 who is now 34 months was a nightmare going to sleep and had sort of dropped the nap herself
I thought that maybe she was overtired and not able to switch off at night
I encouraged a 'lie down and watch a dvd' approach at the same time after lunch and she alwasy fell asleep and then I woke her about 1 asnd a half later and she was happier for the rest of the day and within a week was going to sleep easier at night

MrsJackJohnson · 16/02/2008 21:57

if i was at home all day... i' d rather have a happy child than a cranky one...

soph28 · 16/02/2008 22:05

Will she not nap earlier in the day? Other option is to wake her up after a short nap. I don't think it's good for children (or their parents ) to get used to going to bed late but that's just me!
Otherwise, if you have to drop the nap she will get used to it and won't be as cranky after a few weeks...

llynnnn · 16/02/2008 22:10

roca, we aren't sad just desparate for help!! dh worked his magic and she is now fast asleep (hopefully, with all fingers, toes, legs, arms and eys crossed she will stay that way till at least 8am!!) think i need to join you with your red wine!!
my mum rocked me to sleep until i was almost 2! and reminds me of this fact everytime i moan about dd's sleeping habits! mmm wonder where dd gets it from??

Original poster

Roca · 16/02/2008 22:33

well DH can talk - he's now asleep on the sofa having drunk his way through arsenal losing! So it's just me, the wine, crap TV, 2 sleeping children (horray!) and MN for the evening!

Congrats Llynnnnn - such a brilliant feeling when they finally go down
x

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Original poster

Roca · 16/02/2008 22:38

thanks for all your advice everyone - am gonna try just letting her have a small nap if she needs it as I think even 15 mins may stop her being so cranky but will allow her to still sleep early at night.

I find the whole parenting thing all just a bit surreal - I still feel about 17 (am 35!)

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llynnnn · 16/02/2008 22:39

hooray for your sleeping children too! hope it stays that way until morning! enjoy your peaceful night!

gigglewitch · 16/02/2008 22:47

hope you get a lovely boring night with snoring dH and sleeping babes. One thing you can be consoled with, this stage honestly won't last for long. Just when you think "I cannnot do this any more" something always changes. It's like we are tested to almost our limit then something goes 'trial over, you have passed the babymother test'

Original poster

Roca · 16/02/2008 22:57

gigglewitch - I felt that so many times so far - i.e. when breastfeeding and waking in night suddenly they started sleeping longer then my very active DS turned 3 and got easier etc so fingers crossed

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bigdonna · 18/02/2008 19:07

it was about 23 mths my ds stopped having naps in day.he would then have a bath at 5.30 a drink of milk and fall asleep on couch.i never went out in car after 12pm and if he was getting drowzy in buggy would get him out to walk.if he was grumpy at 4ish would give early bath that normally revamped him and he would sleep till 7ish.at this point i also had a 2mth old.so i preferred to have my quiet evenings to an hour during day.

hairtwiddler · 18/02/2008 19:19

DD (2.2) has just stopped napping in the day and has been very cranky. Posted on here about it and have started doing 'quiet time'. Dim room, story cd on in background, and lots of books to look at. Also gave her a new quilt with pooh bear cover to make her bed an exciting place to be.
She'll happily sit quietly in there for over an hour on her own.
She is still in a cot mind you....
However - story cds are a real winner IMHO.

Rubystar77 · 18/02/2008 22:51

hi roca, similar sito to you, dd2 26 months , dd1 14 months. dd2 is either having really late sleep in arvo and going to bed late but i'm now trying to drop the sleeps but same as you , we are here there and everywhere, sometimes i think let her sleep so i can get on with whay i'm doing but then she is up all night til tenish, i have to dim lights and she falls to sleep on sofa, i've tried putting her in be , and done super nanny not spoke to her but i got fed up with it after the 9th time she got up. they share a room also otherwise i would just let her cy herself to sleep and put stair gate on door.
if i skip sleep during day she goes to bed a 6,30pm bliss.. i think it is just a stage that will pass soon, i've also started waking her after 30 mins nap but she is so grumpy and takes age to come round!!!! i wish i could go back to putting her in bed awake like we use to!!!

Rubystar77 · 18/02/2008 22:51

hi roca, similar sito to you, dd2 26 months , dd1 14 months. dd2 is either having really late sleep in arvo and going to bed late but i'm now trying to drop the sleeps but same as you , we are here there and everywhere, sometimes i think let her sleep so i can get on with whay i'm doing but then she is up all night til tenish, i have to dim lights and she falls to sleep on sofa, i've tried putting her in be , and done super nanny not spoke to her but i got fed up with it after the 9th time she got up. they share a room also otherwise i would just let her cy herself to sleep and put stair gate on door.
if i skip sleep during day she goes to bed a 6,30pm bliss.. i think it is just a stage that will pass soon, i've also started waking her after 30 mins nap but she is so grumpy and takes age to come round!!!! i wish i could go back to putting her in bed awake like we use to!!!

Original poster

Roca · 19/02/2008 00:36

I think really the only thing I can do is ride it out until she is old enough to (hopefully) start going to bed just by us telling her to like my 3yr old does.

I just can't see how we can have an official routine as each day is different so maybe I/we need to just say that's how it is for now - some days are early to bed and others a bit later.

Rubystar - like you, when I try to wake her after a short sleep I have to sit with her for like half an hour to bring her round (unless we are say at a park or something)which isn't always practical.

Bigdonna - I can see what you're saying but would never be able not to go out in car in the avo and find it all a bit stressful to try to keep them awake when in buggy etc.

Am defo gonna try the story CD's - is her b'day on Saturday and I have bought a couple, haven't ever used that tactic yet....

Thanks all - is always nice to hear am not alone
x

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Rubystar77 · 24/02/2008 23:21

hello roca... i've been able to keep her awke quite a bit lately so have been able to get her down early, i have to be careful around 5 when i'm cooking dinner as she looks very sleepy then...
the other night she was fed and in jamas and fell asleep at 6pm i thought what bliss, the lil madam walked down the stairs at 8.30pm ha ha she must of thought if was a nap! so now i'm stringing it out til 7pm as it makes all the difference!
the thing is she sleeps in til 9am if she can, she's got an extra day at nursery now so hopefully she will get in better routine with getting up early.. dd1 is clock work bed at 7 pm awake 7.30am !!