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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Someone talk to me about 4 YO behaviour...

5 replies

chubchubchubchub · 27/04/2023 19:01

My DD turned 4 last month. She's always been very serious & grown up for her age, she is hilarious don't get me wrong, but defo an old soul.

She can be ballsy but also very sensitive. We have worked on making her more confident & I think the older she gets hopefully that's happening a bit more for her.

I grew up with a mum who shouted at me & hit me, I was one of 5 kids & there was no time for us individually, I did not want the same for my children.

I am currently pregnant but DD atm is my only child.

I've always been very patient with her, something I am not known for generally in my life! Lately however I feel my patience slipping a lot.

She lies, silly things but still does it. I've told her if she lies I can't trust her, trust is important, I've told her the story of the boy who cried wolf. She then just states things like 'I don't believe you!' And walks off. She doesn't seem to react calmly to much these days.

She does suffer with night terrors but still gets 10-11 hours of sleep a night.

She's brilliant with her manners but is very much a rule follower, last week she told one of her friends off for not saying 'please'. (We were on a play date, it was slightly awkward 🤣)

She also has a thing about winning. If you race her to the door, she will scream at you not to pass her, then even if you say 'You won!' It's like it's overwhelming & she will then throw a strop. I've explained to her she can't & won't win at everything in life. She doesn't take that well either!

She's also started shouting at us if she doesn't get her way which I will not tolerate & it's straight to time out for 4 mins. I then sit & explain why she was put in time out & how we talk to each other nicely, we do not scream or shout.

I feel defeated & deflated as she doesn't seem to be learning as the same behaviours keep happening.

I think i just need to vent & write this all down so well done if you've got this far! I suppose I wonder if this is typical behaviour or not, having never had a child before.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 28/04/2023 07:35

Part of it could be the fact that you're PG. your DC's behaviour often changes a little, I don't know if it's a change in you or if they just sense a new threat is in its way be they can change.

If she's been like this for a while it might be worth reading up on ASD in girls, particularly if she seems out of kilter with the behaviour of her DFriends.

chubchubchubchub · 28/04/2023 08:15

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto Thank you for your reply. She is very much looking forward to the new addition but again could have upset her subconsciously, I have no idea.. it's hard to know what is normal & what is typical 4YO behaviour as a FTM.. I've looked up ASD & tbh I think there's some criteria that would fit her the same as it would fit the next person, but only a couple of symptoms.

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 28/04/2023 08:41

Ok so if she's showing a couple of the traits, I think it's probably worth doing an Ages & Stages assessment and seeing how she scores.

chubchubchubchub · 28/04/2023 09:40

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto Thank you for that. No all is fine, it's just her emotional reaction to things & again not sure if this is just the norm
or not. She scores fine on the questionnaire & I've done other autism questionnaires online also. I just wish I could help her on the emotional front.

OP posts:
Mumtoboys1 · 06/05/2023 22:05

My 8 year old was diagnosed with ASD in reception. He has always had an issue with losing. Used to be so bad if someone pressed the button at the lights before us he would scream and get on the floor and most of the time shout at the person who pushed the button, thankfully it's not so bad now but it's something that is certainly still an issue everyday.

Also getting his own way too. In nursery they played a song he didn't want on the cd player and he threw it across the room.

Honestly the only thing I've found that has helped is time (growing older and out of things) and constant displays and reminders of good (positive) + expected behaviours. I'm very lucky he wants to be good and a nice person and gets a buzz off it 😂 so I try and play off that as much as I can.

It may not be ASD or anything like it and just a phase or related to your pregnancy with new baby. I hope things get better and you get some answers!!

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