I know all children are different, but at what age should they be able to wipe their botttom?

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Maybe not perfectly but enough to be clean at school?

By the time they start school really. IME preschools work on this with them, but they're expected to do it themselves in recpetion.

I realise school won't do it for them, and at the moment it isn't an issue as she doesn't go at school, but she has just refused to even pick up a wipe to try and for me to talk her through it. She is 4.5 btw.

at school and nurseries they get no help and may not have toilets that close. So they have no one to help them so they do do it. My son does it himself at school but sometimes wants help at home.

My son never poo-ed or wee-ed at preschool so never got any help!

We would like her to do it on her own at home now but don't want to be unreasonable if she is too young.

I didnt show dd how to do it. She just did it one day. SOmetimes she calls for someone, other times she does herself. SHe is 4 and 5 months. SHe has always had to do herself at nursery from about 3.

well I've found that children of about 3.6 are invariably capable of doing it when made to

SHould add by having to do herself at nursery meant she got a sore bum.

My DS is exactly same age as your DD Nab (born Sept 2003) and I am aiming for him to be able to do it by the time he goes to reception in September. Haven't got a clue about training him to do it (older DD seems to have taught herself, or perhaps I just can't remember). Am hoping to teach him to do it better than his Dad - apparently his mum got him to do it standidng up!!! WTF??

If she's NT Nab I'd say she was perfectly capable of learning to do it now

She has just cried for 15 minutes because we wouldn't help her as we were going to talk her through it and she refused point blank to even pick up a wipe.

Little Miss Stubborn.

I think she is ready for bed tbh so I am going to take her.

well my ds is in reception and STILL needs his bum wiped.
He never does a poo at school though and would rather die than ask for someone other than us to wipe it.You'd think that would spur him on to do it himself properly wouldn't you

same as hercules, dd was wiping herself at nursery but kept getting cystitis so I asked them to help her. By the time she went to school she was better.

with DS we used Kando (is that the wipes you mean)

with DD just loo paper

if she's getting a complex it might be a bit harder and you'll have to play it the best way you judge .. would bribery help?

with girls btw .. our paediatrician advised that once wiped (and always front to back of course) teach them to get another piece of paper and dab the front just to ensure urine is all dried off and not left to give a UTI

I used to say to my son he should have a try and then we would help him after. He has slowly done it more and more himself (Hes 3 months older than your dd and is in reception). But he sometimes get sore cos he isn't that great at it. Don't make it a battle, that never works

oh yes 'have a try' is the approach we used and were happy to finish off

then gradually 'do you feel clean?' ..teaching them to wiggle their bum to check

then 'try it yourself and I'll check'

you might have to back off for a few weeks now Nab and then try again .. in the meantime maybe there are things you can think of that you can do with DD when she's a big girl who can wipe her own bottom? (bribery angle of course)

My DS is still hopeless at this. I 've lost count at the number of pairs of pants I've thrown away rather than face.
The problem is he's 10!
He has SN, ?ASD and has been behind in all milestones. Don't know when he's going to meet this one.
I keep trying to be matter of fact about it and try not to 'blame' him when inside I'm seething!

I have always gone in and done it but I do think it is time she at least tried. She wouldn't even pick up the wipe.

Was talking to a friend about this the other day, saying I was surprised when one of ds's friends came to play and called me to help her wipe her bum. They are both four and in reception. Ds has been wiping on his own for quite a while now - I know he's OK at school because he doesn't come home with skidmarks (and he does poo at school, he used to tell me very proudly - was apparently the most exciting thing about the nursery class).

My friend said that's normal and girls need more supervision than boys because of the importance of wiping front to back (can't say I've ever noticed ds wiping the other way round, mind, but maybe I'm just an inattentive parent).

Pick a good day when she's not overtired and encourage her to have a go. She is not too young, but obviously you don't want a major battle.

Will do. I am sure on a couple of other occasions when I was busy with the lo I said for her to do it herself and we didn't have any tears or fuss but I also don't know if she did it.

Well my dd is 7 in a couple of weeks and she still likes me to wipe her bum . I think its just laziness. She manages at school ok as far as I know.

Mine all wiped their own bums as soon as they were potty trained, but i seem to remember they all wanted to do it - or maybe I just assumed they would do it[shrug]

ds1 is 9 and is useless at it to. he tries but still manages to leave a smear round his cheeks!! i think its laziness as he wants to be gone and back to playing. but hes going away with the school for 2 days soon and i told him they will laugh at him if he doesnt do it properly, they might see his skid marks!!

i'm another one with she did it as soon as potty-trained....but I left the potty-training late so maybe that made a difference. dd now just 4 but has been competently wiping arse for at least a year.