Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Daughter found sleeping in dirty laundry

18 replies

warmmum · 08/12/2004 21:08

dd2 (3yo) has slipped into the habit of coming down to sleep in our bed and I'm not sure what to do. She clearly is in need of something.

It only happens at home (not when we are away at MIL/MOthers).

Last night she came down and got into bed, and I took her back up quietly and put her back in her own bed. dh heard crying later and could not work out where it was coming from and found dd curled up on the floor of our bedroom in the heap of dirty laundry on the floor (doesn't everyone have one of those?) like something out of Dickens.

Maybe she just wants to sleep in our bed for company, but I am not good at this as it means I can't sleep and am really horrible the next day. She shares a room with her sister who snores, but the waking and visiting has just begun (well in the last 3 months) and the snoring has been around for longer than her!

All suggestions considered.

OP posts:

winterwarmmummer · 08/12/2004 21:22

Oh please help

wobblystarryknicks · 08/12/2004 21:25

I'm not sure what age I was, but I was quite little and used to do this sort of thing. My mum would put down an airbed next to her bed and if I got up in the night I'd take my duvet and go and sleep on it. Did it for a while on and off but then just grew out of it. Don't know if that helps though!

yuleicorn · 08/12/2004 21:26

has anything changed in her routine etc? Is
she at Nursery/playgroup.. something happened to upset her? Are you and dh ok...?
sorry for the questions, just may be something that has affected her recently and she needs more reasurrance.

Or she may have hit the bad dreams stage, or could she be cold?

Just a few possible ideas.

winterwarmmummer · 08/12/2004 21:30

Probably all of them.
Her big sis has just left their nursery to go to big school.

We stupidly watched Wizard of Oz - something I truly recommend avoiding for 3/4 year olds.
She has spent time in hospital this summer with pneumonia (although she is very proud of this)
She often mentions dreams about dragons etc.

Wobblystarrynicks - like the suggestion that she could have her own place- much better than my bed.

TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 08/12/2004 21:30

why can't you sleep with her in your bed ... you won't harm her .. its just like sleeping with an adult .. it is safe honestly

if you just really don't want to then I think an airbed / campbed set up in your room next to your bed would be a great compromise

she obviously just needs a little reassurance

the way to make her stay in her own bed is just to calmly, quietly lead her back every time without talking to her .. put her in her own bed and say goodnight .. no eye contact .. then do it again and again and again

but personally I'd let her sleep in my bed

winterwarmmummer · 08/12/2004 21:32

You are right HollyandtheTwiglett. I would love to have her sleep in my bed, but I just can't. I can't sleep and am like a bear with a sore head in the morning. Which means I will shout alot which I hate.

frogs · 08/12/2004 21:32

They do sometimes go through odd phases, though. My dd1 used to fall asleep on top of a heap of Duplo on her bedroom floor. Othertimes she used to pile the Duplo up in bed and fall asleep on top of that. Never worked out what it was all about, but it passed.

winterwarmmummer · 08/12/2004 21:33

Maybe I should offer her the box of duplo

lockets · 08/12/2004 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frogs · 08/12/2004 21:38

Forgot to say we put a stairgate across the door of her room -- I'm sure given the option she would have chosen to kip in our bed rather than on top of pile of spiky toys. But like you I don't do children in the bed, so it was never going to be one of the available options for her. [evil mother emoticon]

But if there is other evidence that she's bothered about things, then I'd try and explore that a bit more in other ways -- baths with Mummy? Extra cuddles? Extra stories?

kinderbob · 08/12/2004 21:41

I used to get really achey in the night and sleep in the bottom of the airing cupboard. I was probably about 6-8.

Now if I can't sleep I lie on the spare bed and go out like a light. Sometimes I think I just need a change of scene.

Ds (21months)occasionally needs a night with us, which has always coincided with a developmental stage. Last week he spent the night with us and then woke us up at 5am to listen to him speaking in complete sentences and reciting the words to all the nursery rhymes. I will have a pull out toddler sofa thingie in our room once he is used to a bed because he really does take over the place.

winterwarmmummer · 08/12/2004 21:52

Think I will set up a bed for her on the floor so that she can come down and have somewhere to sleep. After all, I don't want her to think that I don't care if she is really worried/scared or whatever.

Thanks for the suggestion.

TwasTheNightBeforeCatbert · 08/12/2004 21:58

No help here, as DD not 3 and done this yet...

But I oft have a pile of dirty laundry on the floor!

wobblystarryknicks · 08/12/2004 21:59

wwm - just from own experience, the bed next to parents bed was fab - felt like being in bed with them but obv from their POV was much better!!!

Tommy · 08/12/2004 22:06

My DS sometimes comes in a sleeps on the floor next to me with a pillow (he is already wearing his sleeping bag) Apparently my nephew used to take his duvet and pillopw and sleep on the floor of his parents' room quite regularly!

bambi06 · 08/12/2004 22:26

my daughter still regularly wakes in the night at 3 1/2 yrs!!!and always has done,she was always one of those snuggly cuddly babies but of course this meant she wanted to be with me all the time..when she got older and was able to talk ,i asked her why she always comes in to our room at night and her simple reply was too check i was still there as she was worried i would go away!!aahhh! poor thing .anyway she comes for a cuudle still at night but actually wants to go back to her bed as she says its got more room..she has a double bed all to herself and she roams around it all night!!

MariNativityPlay · 09/12/2004 10:11

We have a night wanderer too, he's just the snuggly kind (although it's a bit of a squeeze with him and dh and a giant cuddly Pikachu that comes everywhere with him).
I think you should definitely explore offering one of your (not washed) old nighties or t-shirts as a comforting "cuddly". And the bed beside yours, if you have room, could be a great solution.

winterwarmmummer · 10/12/2004 12:15

Have set up a bed on the floor which she loves. But have not yet had a chance to see if she will go to that rather than to our bed, as last night she decided to come down early to avoid disappointment. We moved her into her floor bed when we came up.

Now that I think about it, next time I will take her back to her own bed and then if she needs to she can come down to her floor bed.

Flip