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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

7 month old dd2 driving me to despair ....

13 replies

Lisa229 · 15/02/2008 20:04

and effecting my relationship with dd1. This a bit like the post from the lady who has a miserable 6 month old. I have a miserable 7 month old who has started in the last week to be really really clingy and if I put her down in the bouncy chair or on the mat, cries like I have never heard until i pick her up again.

This is causing my 3 and half dd1 to start playing up and not doing what I tell her, probably to get my attention as I seem to spend so much time calming dd2 down. I know it has only been going on for a week but added to the fact that mealtimes are a struggle here she clamps mouth shut and cries after about 2 mouthfuls, she doesn't nap well, hates her highchair and is generally high maintainence. I thought it would have started getting easier now but I just feel like I am drowning. Tonight dd2 was crying in the highchair as I tried to give her tea, dd1 was messing around and wouldn't eat her tea and I just ended up bursting into tears when dh came home.

Any tips pls to save my sanity....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mrsgboring · 15/02/2008 20:08

I only have one, so can't offer that much advice. However SLING will be said lots. Get a wrap, mei tai or Ergo and use it to keep her close to you if she doesn't want to be left.

Lots of singing, dancing etc. too. If either one is melting down, catch their eye and start singing a favourite song. Or ask your DD1 to choose a song to sing.

CantSleepWontSleep · 15/02/2008 20:10

Relax about dd2's eating - she only needs milk at this age. Food is just for fun, so bung a few bits of stuff in front of her, and let her eat it if she wants, and not if she doesn't.

lulalullabye · 15/02/2008 20:10

Pray for her teeth to come soon ! Thats what i am doing with my dd the same age.

Original poster

Lisa229 · 15/02/2008 20:16

She already has 2 bottom teeth and she wasn't too bad when they came....she just seems to be one of thse babies that cries at full volume straight away, no whimpering just right to it.

I know food is for fun and I should be more relaxed....she is not a great sleeper full stop and I thought it might help when she started eating.....every month we have said, it will get easier once she can sit, can hold things, can eat etc etc but it just doesn't seem to be.

sorry, I sound like such a moaner, just feel like things are getting on top of me at the moment and needed to share.
thanks

OP posts:

snooks · 15/02/2008 20:19

I've got ds1 (3.4) and ds2 (20mths).

Basically 3 is a nightmare age in any case, and especially in the ways you describe. (I've found that out through experience and reading threads on here about 3 yr-olds!) Knowing that helps me cope a bit with ds1.

As for your younger dd, well my ds2 has always been higher maintenance since he was born, when he's happy he's very happy, but he's a man of extremes,& I've never heard such moaning/whinging...we have found it's often but not always teething, usually 2-4 teeth coming through at a time. Any chance of that with your dd2?

Sorry no constructive advice at all, just lots of empathy, it is really hard, I've often been at the end of my tether after a trying day. Hope someone comes along with some proper help, I'm 29 weeks with no.3 so god help me

snooks · 15/02/2008 20:20

sorry x-posts re the teething

Meandmyjoe · 15/02/2008 20:20

Bless you- I'm the lady with the miserable six month old!!! Thankfully ds is our first (and last!) child. It must be so hard to have another young child aswell. I don't know how you do it! Has she always been high maintenance or is it just recently? If it's just recently I imagine it's probably her teeth coming through. Whatever the reason- please know that you're not alone and the people on mumsnet are so helpul and supportive. Both of us have to hang on to the thought that THIS STAGE WILL PASS!!! I keep saying that to myself or else I would just cry! Good luck. I hope the situation improves soon. x

clur79 · 15/02/2008 20:26

I also have a miserable 7 mo. He is not happy about anything at the moment.

I song a lot, and walk him in the pushchair so he will nap.

He refuses food at lunch, but I am now resigned to going with the flow, and think if he is hungry he will eat! Mine also does not whimper, just cries.......

Original poster

Lisa229 · 15/02/2008 20:27

Thank you meandmyjoe and snooks. DD2 has always been high maintenance - tongue tied so breastfeeding a struggle, then colicky when on formula, endless colds, coughs and then the first 2 teeth. Could be more teeth I guess but she has been dribbling for weeks and no sign.

A complete shock as DD1 was such an easy baby. Naively I thought it must have been my skills as a mother - ha, that serves me right!

I am like you in that i have friends who have 2 who seem to be effortlessly coping with the pair of them while I avoid going to certain things as I worry how dd2 will be which means dd1 is missing out and isn't fair.

OP posts:

Meandmyjoe · 15/02/2008 20:35

Oh dear- I really don't think I could cope with 2 children! Don't doubt your skills as a mother though, you were lucky first time round but every baby is different (some just plain awful like my ds!). It's hard because you love them so much and I want more than anything to be happy. It's an awful situation isn't it??!! My friends really don't understand and I've got to the point where I just stop trying to explain it. I always make out that things are going fine because I think they'll just think I'm crap or completely over exhaggerating. Thankfully I tell my sister how it really is and it's put her off from ever having kids! I really don't have any suggestions- just lots of sympathy. How does she nap? DS is a nightmare to get to sleep in the day- he screams and screams. How is she at night? I often think if my ds wasn't so good at night, I really couldn't cope in the day.

Sputnik · 15/02/2008 21:11

I have an 8 month old DS and a 3 1/2 year old DD. I am VERY lucky that the baby is very good natured, but I know where you're coming from as DD at that age was pretty clingy. Agree with everyone that says don't stress over the food, she'll eat it when she's ready. Carry her as much as you can and maybe try some new toys, perhaps she's bored with the ones she has.

With your DD1 try and give her some 1 to 1 time when you can. Take a deep breath and try not to let her wind you up, I have a really short fuse with mine if the baby is crying and have to make an effort not to over react.

Also don't stress that your friends seem to be doing better, every baby is different, it just seems to be the luck of the draw.

Original poster

Lisa229 · 18/02/2008 20:54

Well, we were feeling brave and went out for the day with our 2 girls to a farm. DD2 only slept half an hour in the car rather than have her normal hr or 2 hr nap. Fine for a bit at the farm but then wouldn't stop crying unless me or dh were holding her. She was really tried but just wouldn't sleep when we walked round with her in the buggy. This made me and dh stressed, DD1 cliny to me because only I could claim DD2 and just felt like everyone was looking at us, felt really down. Suppose to be going again to another farm later in the week but I don't know if I will be brave enough, especially as DH isn't with me. Just don't know whet is wrong with dd2. If tired, go to sleep, if not, sit happily in buggy for more than 1 minute!!!
Any words of wisdom or advice

OP posts:

helenelisabeth · 18/02/2008 23:45

I know it might not be what you want to use but have you thought about buying one of those backpack things that the babies sit in? Can't do links I'm afraid! At least then when you're out the baby can look around and you have got both hands free to hold your DD1's hand etc. Just a thought.

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