7yo massive overreaction - how do we help him regulate his emotions?

[worktired]

7yo has SEN, on the list for ADHD/ASD assessment, he struggles to regulate his emotions sometimes.

Recently it's getting much worse - real angry outbursts when things don't go his way. Today I bought the wrong flavour pizza (I'd forgotten that he now has a "new" favourite and he wasn't with me to ask) - he screamed and shouted at dad & sibling, telling them it was all their fault, shouting & raging etc. Complete overreaction.

How can we help him manage his emotions to deal with this kind of disappointment? It's so out of character with all his other behaviour that it's as if he can't help himself, so I'm not sure punishment is appropriate.

It's so difficult isn't it @worktired and I can remember DS being difficult at 7, he's much easier now as an older teen btw so it's not all bad

Are school doing any Emotional Literacy with him?

Have you noticed anything that is contributing to his outbursts? I noticed that my DS was much worse after screen time and much better if he'd been outside.

I'd try posting in the SN Children Section, you might get some useful replies in there

My 8 year old is autistic and have similar issues with him. I definitely agree with screen time creating worse moods. I started to look at it as not an overreaction but more so explaining to him that he can't behave that way because of those emotions. If he has special needs that wrong pizza could be crippling to him even though it seems like not a big deal to others. But still constant reminders that those behaviours are unacceptable.

One trick I've started doing with my boy is talking to him about independence because he wants to start doing things by himself ect for example : ' if you want to walk to school by yourself in the future you need to learn to control these emotions, I won't always be there to help you calm down so you need to learn to do it yourself' . Not sure if this could apply to your situation but you could tailor it to suit yourself and 7yo needs.

It is so difficult there are so many things that are a constant struggle it seems it will always be an issue.

Best of luck!