I am having major problems with DS2 he is 3.3 and he is giving me such a hard time. We have had a pretty stressful time of things lately, our house got flooded in January, rescued in a boat in the pitch black and had to move out for three weeks (anybody staying in jenpet's gite this summer you're going to have a lovely time it's fab it's like a five star hotel) so I can appreciate that things have been stressful for him but he's got substantially worse since moving back home.
For starters, I seem to spend all my time with him screaming at me particularly on a morning, this breakfast bowl, that spoon, sit next to me, DS1 stop looking at me, don't want to get dressed, I'm not going to school. So a very stressful morning time and to be honest I do end up screaming like a fishwife at the end of it too. I've asked at school and he's fine there a really happy and sociable child who gest on with everybody EXCEPT in the past two weeks he's been pooing in his pants. He started in September and had not had one single accident until now. Every day the teacher just hands me this plastic bag with shitty pants and trousers and a look as if to say sort it out. When I try to talk about it to DS2 he will walk away saying I'm not listening or I'm not speaking to you. I've tried punishing with the babies don't use the toilet and poo in their pants and so you can't do big boy things until you don't poo your pants at school, he likes to play on DS1's DS or watch Power Rangers. I've stopped all that until he can do big boy stuff ie use the toilet again.
Bedtimes are turning into a nightmare. I put him to bed, and read both boys a story, DS1 sits quietly and listens DS2 wanders round the bedroom and can't/won't sit down. Then I put them to bed, both boys have the same routine, kiss and a cuddle with mummy, a little chat about the day and then off to sleep, it's always been like this and DS1 is asleep within 10 minutes. Last night DS2 the little bugger was still running around at 10.00, he's turning on lights, going into DS1's room while he's sleeping to get toys and generally refusing to sleep. Tuesday night, I had to lock him in his room for his own safety because I was going to kill him. I'm at my wits end and don't really know what to do. My husband works away so is only with us weekends, but DS2 hasn't ever known anything different to this, so I don't think that's the problem. I've tried to speak to the teacher at school, but we're in France and although my French is OK it's not good enough to go into the minutiae of DS2's problems and to be honest apart from the poo thing he doesn't have any problems at school. Although he doesn't speak French he's the boy who is friends with everyone, if you know what I mean. I know they have changed his classroom assistant in the last couple of weeks, but he already knew the new one and in fact spent time teasing DS1 in the car the other day because they'd swapped classroom assistants and DS2 thinks he's got the better deal.
Also he'll wake up for a wee about 2.00 or 3.00 in the morning and I've found myself stood on the landing arguing with him because he's adament that he's coming in to my bed and I'm equally adament he's not. Sometimes I can put him back in his bedroom but then he does screaming and shouting for over an hour. Other times he goes back without any problems at all. However, I'm completely knackered I have stress all day with work etc and then not much sleep at night.
He does sleep with a nightlight on and I'm very tempted tonight to flick the fuse switch on the upstairs light circuits so he can't turn any lights on up there and possibly unplug his nightlight so he can't see to play and has to go to bed. However, he's not happy in the dark and I'm guessing this could cause hysterics of a different kind.
Any advice on how to deal with this is greatly appreciated. I've kind of run out of things in my repertoire. I would mention that DS2 is a very bright little boy and he certainly has me pegged. I was talking to a friend about this yesterday and when she's looked after him he's been as good as gold with her, chatting away to her, no arguments, so I guess it's just me he feels the need to stand up against.