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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is this weird behaviour for a 2 and a half year old?

19 replies

sunglasses · 13/02/2008 21:20

My dd is very bright and her speech has always been quite advanced. You can have real adult conversations with her and she understands lots. She has always had this weird thing of having particular things that she says over and over again and that you have to answer in a particular way otherwise she gets really upset and a huge tantrum starts. For instance her latest one is going to bed and saying' i want to wake up in a little while' amongst several others,if you just say ok goodnight, she just keeps repeating it again and getting really agitated until you say 'yes wake up in a little while' back. The trouble is there are numerous phrases like this, too complicated to go into in detail and its really wearing having to constantly play this weird word tennis all day! She has also started to say 'what did you say 'after everything i say to her meaning i have to say everything about 3 times!!! She can hear perfectly well. Its like she has OCD. Is this possible in such a young child?
Please tell me this is normal and how i might lead her out of this annoying habit.

OP posts:

hana · 13/02/2008 21:21

yes, this is normal! it's just a phase and will pass. we have songs that we have to sing...... something else will take it's place in a few months time!

snice · 13/02/2008 21:23

Normal here too - although probably started a bit later with DS at nearer 3.

chankins · 13/02/2008 21:25

Well it sounds ok to me, she obviously has a large vocabularly, and enjoys learning new words and putting them together. I had similar experiences with dd1, at age 2 she could sing many nursery rhymes perfectly well, and like you say, I could have normal little conversations with her ! Funnily enough, dd2 was a much slower speaker, and took longer to converse with us, yet now it is her who constantly says what did you say ? what did you say mummy ? You can never get away with sayting 'nothing darling,' you have to repeat it all constantly ! I guess they are just trying to understand it all. She sounds lovely to me !

MotherFunk · 13/02/2008 21:25

Message withdrawn

pagwatch · 13/02/2008 21:27

Um
Are you saying she needs a night time routine or is this more?
Does she draw comfort from a 'night night god bless' type routine or is it meticulous?
How often a day is this happening - and how EXACT is her phrasing ?
If she has trigger phrases and you have to reply and echo back to her in an exact way I would try really hard not to and see how she copes.
Try and distract her with a tickle or a hug or talking about what dream she will have.
If she gets miffed but copes then just try to keep a routine to comfort her but don't be too rigid
If her reaction is consistently disproportionate ie you cannot distract her out of it - I would go and talk to your GP and get some advice.

ConnorTraceptive · 13/02/2008 21:28

Yes totally normal and very very annoying. DS does this all the bloody time! You can never answer with a simple yes, you have to almost repeat back exactly what he has said. And just for fun he makes you confirm it three or four times aaaarghhhh.

pootleflump · 13/02/2008 21:28

My dd did this as well, I always felt it was so she could confirm I'd heard her correctly and wasn't just fobbing her off 'yes, ok'.

It's a hard habit to get out of though, she's 3 now and when I repeat things back to her now she gets all exasperated and says "yes, that's what I already said to you mummy!"

Original poster

sunglasses · 13/02/2008 21:29

Thank goodness its normal! Its driving me crazy! but if I know it will pass eventually I can cope with it. It just seems to have always been there in some form or other- holding her cuddly toy in one hand and milk in the other then passing them to you in a particular order and in particular hands etc etc. Every time one weird habit disappears its replaced by some new ones! Its certainly a challenge.

OP posts:

mcnoodle · 13/02/2008 21:30

normal here - ds (2.7) NEVER lets me get away with a 'hmmmm' or a 'yes darling'. I have to repeat back what he said. And he repeats phrases over and over and over and over and over (get the picture?) again until he gets the response he needs. Sometimes it's wearing, mostly I love our strange little chats.

Original poster

sunglasses · 13/02/2008 21:37

Oh just read your reply pagwatch- its definitely not just a night time routine she does it at all times of the day and even before she could talk there were still the rituals- see my previous post.
I have tried to not answer her and just say goodnight or something instead but case in point tonight she just kicked off and screamed and shouted the same phrase over and over again until i went back up to her.
Some of it I am sure is attention seeking but ignoring her etc just doesnt work and really winds her up. I dont want to upset her but I also dont want to be a slave to all these funny little ways. Do u think it could be something worth talking to a gp about?

OP posts:

ChipButty · 13/02/2008 21:39

All sounds perfectly normal to me.

ConnorTraceptive · 13/02/2008 21:40

DS also likes me to draw pictures of thomas the tank over and over and over again but is getting more and more specific about the details and god help me if I don't do it right!

Today's request was "make him look crazy but not too cross" I mean seriously WTF!

Sycamoretree · 13/02/2008 21:46

It's normal normal normal. Your DD sounds just like mine (2.6). Very advances speech since forever, and also has little speech rituals. "What did you say" is also a real favourite, even though she has heard perfectly well. IMO they are bending, pushing and playing with the world of language, to sit what works, what are conventions etc. They are also expressing their independance and exerting their WILL, which is a fab thing to see happening, but in the moment, is utterly infuriating and exhausting. I have made a rule. I answer Why? twice and if she keeps on with WHY? I then ignore her. It's harsh, because they are actually just trying to get at as much info as possible (even though it sounds like a wind up). Example:

Me: DD - Don't pull the car window blind away from the window.
DD -Why?
Me Because it won't block the sun anymore and it'll get in your eyes.
DD - Why?
Me: Because the blind is what is stopping the sun coming through the window.
DD - Why?
Me: Well, I either stop here or try and get into the physics of light dispersion and shadows...so hence my two WHY rule...

Original poster

sunglasses · 13/02/2008 21:50

about Thomas the tank engine! Not had that kind of request yet but i wont speak too soon.
Seems from most replies that this is normal. She is also very funny, lively and caring so not all bad. its just those little things that get to you somedays!

OP posts:

tori32 · 13/02/2008 21:53

Its pretty normal. Its because inadvertantly it is what she is used to. The fact that she is advanced with her speech suggests that you have repeated what she says back to her to affirm it is right. This is how speech develops. I also have dd who is singing nursery rhymes at 2.1mth so understand this type of advanced understanding etc. Basically it is her expectation that you repeat the phrases she says.

Original poster

sunglasses · 13/02/2008 21:54

We are also on the 'Whys' too. Was kind of expecting this phase so not too disturbed by it but yes quite funny thinking up answers all the time! Actually makes you think about 'why' yourself.

OP posts:

Sycamoretree · 13/02/2008 22:38

That's interesting Tori - hadn't realised that would be why they do the repeating, but it makes total sense. My mum is a teacher so she had told me never to correct a child, but just to repeat back to them what they have said, in the way it should be said - I have always done that so explains why she's at it! She also has hilarious habit of raising tone of voice at end of sentence in manner of adult slightly patronising to small person tone!

yurt1 · 13/02/2008 22:41

Normal for her age. DS3 is just growing out of it (aged 3). DS2 did it at the same age. Ds1 does it (aged 8) but that's because he can't talk so he needs his noises 'translated' and we have to get them correct iyswim.

Meandmyjoe · 15/02/2008 21:10

I would say very normal- and how cute that she has such a large vocabulary! You should be very proud. My friend's little boy is 2.4 and is exactly the same as this. He also is very articulate and has a huge vocabulary but God forbid if you answer him incorrectly! All hell breaks loose! For example he always says 'hello and good day to you'. If you just say 'hello' back, this is simply inadequate and acts appaulled that you haven't said 'hello and good day' back to him. He also has an obsession about talking to the sun- maybe that's not so normal but you see what I'm saying. I really doubt it's anything to worry about. Sounds quite sweet really!

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