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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help!!! my 15 mo has started throwing tantums ...

12 replies

isabellasmommy · 13/02/2008 19:19

Pls i need help, the tantrums have started along with not eating and not sleeping... I have tried everything, including being reduced to tears.
I need advice on how to sort this out please..

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WigWamBam · 13/02/2008 19:22

Walk away from tantrums. At that age, they aren't much fun when your audience walks out!

Completely ignore them. Be as bored and uninterested as you can possibly be. Walk out of the room if you can.

Distraction is good too; I used to grab dd, pick her up and swing her upside down. By the time she'd finished giggling, the tantrum was forgotten.

And keep repeating the mantra: It's just a phase; this, too, will pass.

itsahardknocklife · 13/02/2008 19:27

My son is nearly 16 months old and the tantrums have started too. I have no adivce, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

sdr · 13/02/2008 19:42

Agree with others, try distraction first in case you can head it off, then walk away. Preferably out of room if they're safe. Got a shock when my DD started them at this age, was not expecting till the terrible two's. Don't give in and make sure others follow the same. My MIL used to make a fuss over her and took us a long time to get her to see it was making the problem worse.

Original poster

isabellasmommy · 13/02/2008 19:48

thanks for the advice, i will start tomorrow. Hold thumbs...

OP posts:

Roca · 13/02/2008 20:49

I'm with you Isabella. I have a ds age 3 who was hard work but never had bad tantrums but my dd age 23 mos is another story!

When she is on form she is so lovely but when she 'turns' she is a nightmare. Yesterday she just got me - I had to carry her under my arm screaming a coule of times when we were leaving our local sports centre and sainsburys as she just decides she's not coming.

What do you do when your child won't budge - you can't just walk off and leave them in a car park! And when in the middle of a muddy field she won't get in the bugggy what do you do?! When she insists on shutting the door on you in a public toilet with 'go way mummy' so she can go by herself - what do you do?

I just have to try distraction as much as possible but she is sooo determined - to constantly turn on the taps / climb on a chair and open the fridge, eveything is 'no, my do it'!!

I tell you - somedays it's fine and others it's just so draining! I just hope I will look back on this and say 'remeber the days...'

Original poster

isabellasmommy · 13/02/2008 21:09

I know what you mean about shop tantums, she hates being in her pram when we in shops and tries to climb out with kicking and screaming. She throws her food out of her plate and hits herself if she doesnt get her own way, its really distressing.
Its only been in the last 1.5 weeks so its a bit of a shock to the system as she was such an easy happy child.
I feel exhausted from it all because im just not getting any sleep with her constant waking in the night

OP posts:

tori32 · 13/02/2008 21:23

I just used to walk off. I agree with wigwambam. From 15mths I sat her in the hallway away from everyone/everything so tantrums = being bored. Ignore.....

WigWamBam · 13/02/2008 22:10

Roca - some battles aren't worth fighting, others are things which are not negotiable. And you need to set down the boundaries for those now, before her behaviour becomes set.

In the middle of the car park, you pick her up and carry her. Don't talk to her, don't bargain with her - just pick her up and carry her. When you get to the car, you explain to her why what she did was dangerous. Toilets are not negotiable - she goes into the toilet with you and you do not let her stop you. Don't let her go in first, so she can't close the door on you - and if she won't let you go in first, then carry her in. If she screams then she screams - you don't care (or you never show her that you do). Do everything as calmly and matter-of-factly as you can without making a fuss and without responding to the yelling.

It is hard, but she has to learn that she isn't allowed to do whatever she pleases, and the only way she will do that is if you lay down those boundaries.

Roca · 13/02/2008 22:28

thanks wigwam - it can just get too much at times and is frustrating when other times she is just so funny and on the ball. I really hope it won't go on forever - when you're in the thick of it is seems to!

WigWamBam · 13/02/2008 22:33

It doesn't go on forever. And even when she's having a tantrum, she's still your lovely little girl underneath it - and often a bit scared by the way she feels as well. So big hugs when the tantrum has finished always go down well.

It will pass ... although my 6 year old has recently rediscovered tantrums, which is a bit disconcerting!

minouminou · 14/02/2008 15:00

same here with DS - i've just osted on a "dogs as babysitters" thread that when he throws strops, our springer just sits by him quietly until it's passed. she tries to lick his hands sometimes, as i think she's concerned that he's in pain
i just sit and watch, occasionally saying, in a bored tone "oh dear, we are a bit upset, aren't we?"
when it's over, we all have a cuddle

nappyneeds · 15/02/2008 23:16

mine is at that age too now. I ignore her and let her cry. She did it in the middle of the library a few weeks back as she didnt want to leave, did the whole arch back thing when I tried to pushchair her but I left her to it and as soon as I got moving she stopped. I ignore her and she soon stops at home. She does however slap faces (or body if she cant reach face) a lot when you are telling her no or to be careful etc. Not solved this one yet...

I think its all to do with wanting to do stuff they cant and not understanding that they cant have/do what they want all the time as most of my dd's tantrums arent connected to actually being naughty ifswim

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