AHHH. I'm not eating that!

[avenanap]

Hi ladies, I am just wondering who you get your bigger children eating vegetables?
My son's 8, he used to eat a big variety when he was a toddler, when he started nursery it all changed. I'm sick of buying vegetables and rice that he never touches, I'm sick of nagging and negotiating. I just want him to eat it without the agro or without him gagging or moaning. I don't moan at him if he doesn't eat all of it, I just want him to try it. He's driving me up the wall. He'll eat meat, potatoes and fruit. I've brought some quinoa(?) but I have no idea what to do with it. He won't eat musili, won't eat porridge, won't eat weetabix.....
I've had enough now. Any advice?

talking form the pint of view of having 2 very fussy eaters one 7 nearly 8 and one 2 nearly 3 I would just serve up a little of everything that you would ^like* him to eat and

do not comment
one day he will eat it
I honestly dont think making ANY sort of fuss is the way to go

I don't fuss, I just let him get on with it, if he doesn't like what I've cooked he say's he's full. He's doing this at school aswell so he's going hungry. I bribe him with pudding if he eats 10 peas I am just wondering if there's anything I can do to make life a bit more easier. His teachers are moaning at him for not eating and he misbehaves more in the afternoon if he's hungry. They don't have a choice what they eat. Sometimes he spends all lunch time inside playing with his food.

I just don't offer anything else. If they are hungry then they will eat. I believe the whole concept of getting them to clear their plate is just teaching them to over eat and potentially lead to weight problems. I just put a well balanced healthy meal in front of him and if he doesn't eat it then there is no pudding and certainly no snacks in between meals. Once they are hungry they will soon eat any meal you put in front of them. With regard to school meals, you know what healthy snacks your child likes, so go for a packed lunch filled with healthy 'bits' as opposed to just sandwiches etc. i.e fruit, yogurts (such as frubes for fun) things they can put together themselves such as crackers and dairylea, raisins...the options are endless. I know it's sounds silly but look at tips from Jamie Oliver or I have even had stuff from Tesco and Sainsburys, they have loads of tips for providing lots of lunch ideas that don't cost the earth....
avemamap...your ds's teachers sound very unhelful, what do they want..for you to give in and provide a 'fat packed' lunch that children seem to go for over healthy food. Are they open to discussion to try to deal with the problem together...?

I would agree with Kathryn and let him go hungry- though I have to admit, in your situation the teachers aren't really helping.

I think the main thing is not to show them you get too upset. We have all heard of people who developed eating disorders because mealtimes became a battle ground.

On the other hand, my ex-SIL seemed to go too far in the other direction, always telling other people 'oh, she doesn't eat this' and 'she won't eat that' before her daughter had even opened her mouth. And yes, her daughter developed problems with food, too. Not to mention driving the entire extended family up the wall.

So some sort of middle ground of pretended indifference is probably best.

Both my children have gone through fussy stages and I've just persevered, putting food in front of them. I have learnt by now to serve small portions to fusspot as I absolutely hate the sight of food going in the bin.

We eat the same family meal all of us, and I try to plan a mixture of meals that dc's like and things that I want, so they're not getting their preferences every day but do get them sometimes.

Dd came out of her fussy stage round about the age of 7 and is now a joy to feed. Ds I had almost despaired of, he really seemed to be subsisting on thin air, but lately I seem to have noticed a change. Maybe there is hope

Can you not give him a pack lunch? I just think expecting all kids to like school dinners is too much and it is cheaper. At home just make sure he has something on the plate he will eat as well as small amount of new.
He has a balanced diet so in the great scheme of things does it matter if he won't eat rice and cereal when he does eat bread and potatoes? A lot of people have simple tastes and don't change before they leave home.
My ds1 has bread if the rest of us have potatoes and my ds2 has a tin of tuna if the rest of us have omlette - as long as it's no hassle for me and it's a healthy alternative then i have no problem with this.

I wouldn't worry if he will eat fruit- he can get his 5 a day from that. You are surprised that an 8 year old won't eat muesli!

The other thing you could try is crudities. My dds love a big plate of raw carrot, celery, cucumber, cherry toms, peppers, grapes, cheese etc with almost any meal. Especially nice with a dip of some sort (but not chocolate ice cream which dd2 was trying yesterday!)

My nephew used to be very fussy (you'd think he was being poisoned when presented with anything green!)

Now aged 14 he eats most everything (except brussel sprouts)

I do agree that if you make it too much of a battle ground it may become an issue. He will develop a dread of food rather than seeing it as an enjoyable experience. I really would send him in with a packed lunch though. If the school dinners are not his thing surely you can find him something he will eat. (It doesn't have to be sandwiches if he won't eat bread.)

He's not allowed a packed lunch. It's a private school, I'm allowed to take chicken bits that don't need cooking for him and nothing else. The children in his class and the one above all sit together so I've been told that I'm not to take anything in for him because it'll upset the other children and their parents will all moan (not like I give a crap though). He'll eat a few peas at home if I ask him but he won't try anything new. It's hard when I take him out for a meal though. There was one place I took him to, they only had sandwiches with salad on them. I've never heard anyone moan that much in all my life. I've done hiding it in spag boll, cruits, tasting sessions, not nagging, nagging, bribery, blackmail. He's got a bit better though, he'll only eat peas if he can wash them down and the middle bit of a cucumber. I don't give him alot so that he's not overwhelmed and we eat together. I even get him to prepare the veg sometimes. I don't nag, I just explain that he can't have any desert until he's had some vegetables.

I was going to mention the 'hiding it' idea, mashing it all up with his potato and just saying it's mash might be an option, or making home made burgers and sticking it in there. Kids grow out of these silly ideas in the end, maybe give him a kids vitamin supplement and just wait it out.

We grate veg up in Spag Bol as spaghetti is guaranteed to go down.
Other strategies especially for weekends....do somethign physical with them to build up an appetite, sport, walks etc.
Place food in front of them with smallish portion of carbohydrate and small portion of meat and lots of veg...however if they know they'll get pudding or biscuits they'll not eat it as hanging on for the sweet stuff so in our house, there is never pudding except on birthdays.
"rubbish" food such as cake, chocolate, biscuits etc is only eaten if the stomach has enough "proper" food in it so that you don't get a bad tummy/get lazy and sluggish.
You have to be consistent. Your worst enemy will be lots of access to food over which you have no control...like friends mothers who fill them with crap sigh

I would say leave it and not worry.

my DS1 is 7 and a PITA for eating veg.....or even fruit......but I want him to learn to eat what he likes (within reason) without getting phobic about it, so now just give him what I know he will eat. makes me more relaxed, as it does him!

DS2 also does not eat any veg, but he will eat tons and tons of fruit, so I don't even care that he just has meat on his plate (he won't touch potatoes either after a severe vomitting epsiode after mash potato!). I do make gravy tho witht he veg water, so I feel he gets some vitamins, and will whiz up some veg for a spag bol sauce so another sneaky way.

for now tho, with regards to DS1, I ensure he has at least one each of the fruits that he will eat per day, plus a vitamin tablet, plus fruit juice (which also counts as one of your five-a-day)

I also remember DD1 going thro this after perviously being a superb toddler who would eat anything......I went thro years of stress with her, even driving me and her to wicked arguements about food, yet now she will try anything, and eat most things (she is almost 14), so I do think that if they start off well, they will comes back again even if you have a few 'wild-years' in the middle...

good luck, and try to relax, as an uptight mum is the worst thing you can have regarding food......and I KNOW this to my cost