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Is this "restraint collapse" and if so how to deal?

1 reply

Blueey · 19/03/2023 21:52

DS, 7 (Yr 3, nearly 8) struggles with transitions, of any kind, eg getting dressed after eating breakfast, leaving the house to go to the park etc. He finds it difficult maybe 75% of the time. It shows up as hyperactive silliness - screeching, shouting, running around, gnashing teeth, refusing to do things like putting shoes on, trying to get his younger brother to join in. He is blank eyed at these times and I try to get on his level, take his hands, make eye contact to get his attention etc but he rolls his eyes and stops weight bearing on his feet so he's all floppy and says "OK" but then carries on as though I haven't spoken. It's really hard to know how to deal with. He also does it when we get home from school, and after any separation really eg after staying at grandparents this weekend. 'Restraint collapse' is something I've read about a lot but it talks about it as meltdowns, tantrums, crying etc which are not the behaviours he shows. He also doesn't do it at school.

Is this a form of restraint collapse? How can I manage it? I tend to aim for authoratitive, empathic parenting with clear boundaries. Yelling or losing my temper only ever makes it worse - so does ignoring it as he'll follow me around and make a point of upping the ante to get my attention.

Also, does this sound like typical 7yo behaviour?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PritiPatelsMaker · 20/03/2023 07:34

Also, does this sound like typical 7yo behaviour

I wouldn't say so but I could be wrong. What do his Teachers say about his behaviour? How is at school with transitions there? How is he with this progress checker?

I've not read much about restraint collapse, sorry so can't help with that.

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